please help. I can't deal with my baby anymore.

[nickytwotimes]

It is me again.
He has terrible reflux.
He won't feed today.
he screams all the time, sometimes from pain but often from exhaustion.
I am exhausted from trying to soothe him.
i have another son who is totally ignored because of his brother.
My husband is off too and I still can't cope.
I wish we had never had him.
I hate what he has doen to us.
we have nothing anymore, no family lifre.

Nicky- I know exactly how you feel I really do. I've never told anyone in real life that. Wish I'd had MN then but I didn't and I still survived, and so did she lol

Thing is, he can't help it, he's not doing it on purpose, he's not (as my nowex-mil used to say) bad

But oh dear god it is hard to live through.

chin up. cuppa tea. and chocolate.

I know you're seeing all the docs but one of relatives was experiencing all these problems and they ended up putting her onto special lactose free formula and seemed to do trick. Maybe? Otherwise keep telling yourself everyday that goes by is one day closer to it getting better

Sorry no words of wisdom to offer but just wanted to send you a huge virtual hug and hope that things start to get better for you soon.

In the meantime get whatever support you can from family and friends to get you through and you can always count on us too.

Another big hug.

xx

oh nicky, a couple of weeks ago i felt just like you, i hated ds, he wouldn't feed settle or sleep.... i thought i trued everything, i adjusted the meds at least fortnightly, i walked miles, put ds in the swing, left him to cry ( a little) cried myself a little. the reflux was horrible. I posted on here, i joined you on some other threads. BUT, and i hardly dare say this... i think its slowly slowly getting better. i haven't adjusted the meds for 24 days, ds will feed some of the time and he will sleep for 4-5 hours some nights. Its still horrid but maybe this too is beginning to pass.

I would not have believed it possible even last week. I would have given up if I could. My health visitor kept talking about PND. But one day (thursday) i got to the evening and thought someone had stolen my ds..... As he'd not screamed for more than a couple of minutes all day.

It will get better. I never believed others when they said it would but it will, eventually.

another big hug

xx

Nicky, omeprazole does seem to be a very sensible next step. I was given some really useful information to make sure that DD got the maximum benefit from it. If you are given capsules containing granules, you need to break open the capsule and give your DS the granules. DO NOT GIVE THEM IN MILK! They need to be given in something acidic, otherwise they break open and get digested too quickly. I found a teaspoon of apple puree worked well. Also, give them on an empty stomach and not immediately before a feed. My DD was older than your DS when she started them, so this was easier. I used to give her the omeprazole first thing in the morning then change her nappy and then give her milk.

DD had a prescription for paracetamol when she was 4 weeks old. It definitely helped during the really bad, screaming days.

Nicky, I second what other posters have said about omeprazole. It was the only thing which worked for DS but it worked within a couple of days. This and prescription milk (nutramigen) and we had a different baby. I nearly cried with relief in the paediatrician's office.

Even though DS has been off meds for 4 months now I still haven't fully recovered from the "reflux hell" - everytime he starts screaming my stomach goes into a knot and I think he will scream for hours. Luckily, it never happens these days.

I'm keeping m fingers crossed for you!

ta all.

Last night was a good one, so that helps.

I am feeling very emotional/fragile.

hoping todays better too.... it will get better

xx

Ahhh......I feel your pain. DS3 was like this and feel dd1 really missed out on having a nice Mummy/.

Do you have a swing?

I frequently told my baby to 'fuck off' and wanted to throw him against the wall.... it's truly awful.

I don't have experience of reflux myself, but can empathise with the feelings of guilt towards your DS as I had twins when DD1 was 20 mths old and struggled to cope with all 3 on my own when DTs were babies, with the result that DD1 spent a lot of time in front of Cbeebies - she's now a bright and happy 7 year old with no lasting effects from having watched Tweenies 3 times a day for several months.

There's a mum on our regular multiples thread whose twin son suffered with reflux very badly - she was breastfeeding and she cut out dairy from her diet and her son's symptoms improved dramatically very quickly. I'll see if I can direct her over here to give you more info - it might be worth a try.

Hope things improve v. soon.

It was an okay day again, but this evening is pants, despite the last 2 evenings being managable.

He is totally overwrought.

Yy, I have a swing - it is great!

Dairy - I gave it up and it has helped a wee bit, but sadly no tthe dramati effect I was hoping for! I can't believe how many things have milk products in them!

Nicky, keep talking and telling us about it on here.

You will get through this and your little one will get over this reflux. Your family won't suffer in the long term from the attention the little one needs from you right now and letting him cry for a min whilst you sort one of the other ones out isn't a crime.

Thinking awful thoughts about him doesn't make you a terrible human or mother. It simply makes you human....

I remember spying the corner of the worktop when I hadn't slept through a three week bout of teething by our son. I hated him and I just thought to myself if I knock my head of the corner there, I'll get some sleep....

I didn't! But it's what being driven to distraction does to a woman.

The little one isn't being naughty, he isn't doing this on purpose, he's not a moany child.....he's just a baby with a terrible pain. I would repeat this in your darkest moments again and again.

When I found myself growling to myself after being woke for the millionth time a night and the hate coming off me in waves, I'd almost meditate a prayer to myself en route to his room "God give me kindness, patience and compassion when dealing with this little soul".

Sorry, I didn't mean this to be so long.

If you are fraught, a visit to the docs may help you enormously. It did me - and a low dose of citalopram too!

I'm really thinking about you.

Hope you have a good night. Tmro's another day:)

He won't sleep.

He won;t feed.

We are still here nicky x

Nicky where do you live? I'm in Bristol.

It is hell, it does pass, it is hell, it does pass......noone can prepare you for this, there's no way out, but it does pass. Take help, all help. Visit your GP every day if you wish, I used to go about twice a week as it made me think I was doing something, gave me a little calm.

posieparker I believe Nicky is in south west Scotland.

nicky how are you this morning love? Anything we can do to help you today?

Ah bit too far for me!!

Nicky, my dd had terrible reflux and I think you really do need to get on to the omeprazole as soon as you can.

It takes 5-7 days to kick in, and is very important to administer correctly, but you can discuss that with your paed.

It is a proton pump inhibitor, so reduces the production of acid in his stomach which is what is really causing all the stomach. Your little guy has chronic indigestion all the time, and his oesophagus by now will also be raw and sore from the tummy acid.

No meds can stop the reflux action, that will only happen with growth, but if you can reduce the acid content he will be a lot more comfortable.

Go and see your paed. xx.

And what you are going through is hell on earth, I've been there and it was the darkest experience I've ever had. The exhaustion plus the stress plus your helplessness in the face of your lo's pain is devastating. But, it will pass, he will grow out of it.

Under advice we started our dd on solids at 3.5mnths which was a huge improvement.

But go and see the paed and get onto Losec.

Whoops

"It is a proton pump inhibitor, so reduces the production of acid in his stomach which is what is really causing all the trouble"

Perhaps there should be a reflux support thread?

Posie, I was just thinking that. There is another thread going on at the moment about the same thing and although I am thankfully over this now, I always post on reflux threads because it is such a tough and isolating experience. And there is so much benefit to be gained from those who have gone through it.

I agree, shall I post on site stuff?

Good idea Posie!

hello, rycie has just linked me to this thread, from here

ds has been awake since 4.30, griping and squealing. i managed to sleep for half an hour whilst dh gave our dds (3 and 4) breakfast. he has finally fallen asleep on my lap, in the yoga, 'child' pose, but i don't want to move and wake him, so the girls are watching yet another disney film in their pjs, the house is a tip, and i am shattered!

so i will read the rest of this thread and ignore the chaos!

a support thread sounds like a fantastic idea