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Parenting

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Original poster

please help. I can't deal with my baby anymore.

156 replies

nickytwotimes · 11/08/2010 17:12

It is me again.
He has terrible reflux.
He won't feed today.
he screams all the time, sometimes from pain but often from exhaustion.
I am exhausted from trying to soothe him.
i have another son who is totally ignored because of his brother.
My husband is off too and I still can't cope.
I wish we had never had him.
I hate what he has doen to us.
we have nothing anymore, no family lifre.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

PandaEis · 11/08/2010 20:55

sorry x-posted i see dairy free is being tried so maybe given time that might help?

please feel free to shout yell or tell me to eff off if you want too

i wouldnt mind being your text buddy if you need one?

DorotheaPlenticlew · 11/08/2010 21:07

Hey, Nicky. No more advice to add, but to you. You are doing really well -- I know it may not feel that way but you are, with all the effort you are putting into dietary changes, pumping, etc.

Keep on keepin' on. I look forward to reading posts from you when he is better :)

mrsjuan · 11/08/2010 21:09

Do you have a sure start centre near you? Their outreach workers are fab and, IME, go out of their way to help in whatever way they can - e.g. hold baby while you play with your older son, sit and talk etc. etc. It might be worth giving them a ring.

He must be almost exactly a year younger than my DD (her birthday is 15th May) - life is sooooo different now than it was a year ago - you will get there too.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Children's health Families General health General parenting

angel1976 · 11/08/2010 21:47

Just seen you post on a couple of other threads and sorry to see you are so far from me, would love to help otherwise. Do you have friends with similar aged DCs to your DS1? Can you send him off to them for a couple of hours, he would love that I am sure and give you a bit of a break from worrying about him.

midnightexpress · 12/08/2010 10:31

How are you doing this morning Nicky? I'm just off out but will be dipping in and out during the day, so feel free to bitch and moan if you need to.

thebunnies · 12/08/2010 11:16

We went through something similar. DS is now almost 4 months and things are hugely better. The turning point was changing his milk to Nutramigen at around 9 weeks (he is cows milk protein intolerant) and putting him on omerpazole (Losec MUPS) plus gaviscon with every feed. We saw paed gastro Eltumi at the Portland who was really good. Before that, no sleep, constant screaming, had to feed him upright in the sling etc etc. After that, sleeping well and generally happy. Still very slow to feed & still vomiting but he's not in pain which is the most important thing. At risk of lots of negative feedback on here, we also moved him to sleep on his tummy as that is the only position in which he is comfortable enough to sleep for anything more than a couple of hours. We put a breathing monitor on though to have some reassurance.

spiritmum · 12/08/2010 11:27

Nicky, I'm so sorry. My dd1 was a bit like this, she had a dairy intolerance and in the end she needed Dr. Browns bottles and lactose-free milk on prescription. Smelled like boiled cabbage but it did sort out the tummy pain (hers was gas and reflux, but the gas was probably the worst). Could you discuss this with the doctor?

It will pass, I promise.

FellatioNelson · 12/08/2010 14:11

Have you investigated the possibility of allergies to things that you are eating and passing on through BF other than lactose? Wheat?

Sorry if I'm stating the obvious but have tried good old fashioned gripe water and a dummy? I know some might pull a cat's bum face at this, but it really did help mine when he was full of colic and reflux. The sucking seemed to help, and stopped him over-feeding (which was exhausting and stressing me)

Peppermint is very good for relaxing stomach and digestive spasms - though obviously you would need to be very careful re: dosage with such a small baby, but at 11 wks I see no reason why he could have cooled weak peppermint tea?

Also, this may sound daft but what about taking him to a reiki practioner, for some healing hands therapy? You've nothing to lose, as all they do is hold their hands over the baby in the troubled area, and it's very relaxing - if it doesn't work then you haven't exposed him to anything remotely dangerous or contraversial. Hang on in there! And try to rope in anyone you can to take him off your hands for those half-hour screaming sessions. It's so much easier to listen to when it's not your own baby.

Original poster

nickytwotimes · 12/08/2010 15:14

god, you guys are fab!
typing i=one handed, sorry!

HE IS ASLEEP! after a very long feed! hooray!

i am sure things will go to shite again but atm i am chilled!

i will work my way through any suggestions i haven't yet tried, trust me.

THANK YOU, thank you, thank you.

OP posts:

amigababy · 12/08/2010 16:09

Hope you can keep feeling chilled, and he has a good sleep.

Is an mp3 with relaxing music any use? To chill out to, or to avoid the screaming (don't mean ignore him, but to give you something else to listen to at the time it happens)

Hope some of the ideas work for you and ds

madamebovine · 12/08/2010 19:15

Oh yes I forgot I used to put in earplugs just to take the edge of the noise when my children screamed.

FellatioNelson · 12/08/2010 20:51

A large gin and tonic works as well.

Oops, sorry you are BF - forgot.

DorotheaPlenticlew · 12/08/2010 23:19

Yaaay! Hope the evening has been ok-ish. Will be thinking of you during the night shift.

midnightexpress · 12/08/2010 23:22

Long may the sleeping and feeding continue, poor sausage (him, and you). Hope you are feeling a bit better.

Alouiseg · 13/08/2010 02:29

Are G & T's and breastfeeding mutually exclusive ?

I remember when my youngest db was born I was 14 and dm was bfeeding, the lovely old retired Dr over the road told her to have a large one at 8pm every night :o

His equally lovely wife whispered, "it won't stop the crying but it makes it a bit more fuzzy" The old love had been on Valium for 25 years!!!

FellatioNelson · 13/08/2010 02:57

Well I worked on the basis that as I'd had the odd drink whilst PG (to wash down my liver and soft unpasteurised cheese) then the odd drink whilst BF would hardly matter. But then my last child was born in 1999. I'd probably be arrested and shot by the government for that sort of behaviour now.

spiritmum · 13/08/2010 08:43

My cousin swore by a large G&T when her babies cried. If they were still crying by the time she'd finished she went to see what they needed.

Her hv was appalled but she was happy. And in her opinion so were the babies.

Mind you, they're in their twenties now!

That said, my mw recommended a nip of something when it all got a bit much.

FellatioNelson · 13/08/2010 09:35

I've subscribed to that too spiritmum - especially with tantruming toddlers! Not ideal, but better than throwing them at the nearest wall, or walking out and not coming back.

And speaking of alcohol in t'olden days (i.e. when I was a baby) a few drops (and I do mean drops) of brandy was added to FF to soothe reflux and gripey tummy spasms. Not that I'm suggesting the OP do that.

spiritmum · 13/08/2010 10:07

I really don't think the odd drink whilst bf is a big deal. Gripe water used to have something in it, didn't it?

I don't drink (only because I don't like it) but there have been times when I wished I did.

Original poster

nickytwotimes · 14/08/2010 19:13

hi all.
yesterday wasc goog, today okay so far!

i'm sure it won't last but i'll try to enjoy it.

OP posts:

sharbie · 14/08/2010 19:20

that's the spirit

sharbie · 14/08/2010 19:21

glad to hear things getting better

Original poster

nickytwotimes · 15/08/2010 11:34

well, as predicted, all gone to shit again.

I fucking hate this.

I wish i had never had him.

all he does is fucking scream.
i hate him, io hate him ih ate him i hate him ihstehim

OP posts:

Original poster

nickytwotimes · 15/08/2010 11:37

i dont hate him..

I hate this, i hate him suffereing and crying and not being able to do anything about it.

OP posts:

Original poster

nickytwotimes · 15/08/2010 11:39

I am so fucking exhausted.

He cried al throughthte night, he is crying still.

he is over tired now which is a viciosu cycle.

OP posts:

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