please help. I can't deal with my baby anymore.

[nickytwotimes]

It is me again.
He has terrible reflux.
He won't feed today.
he screams all the time, sometimes from pain but often from exhaustion.
I am exhausted from trying to soothe him.
i have another son who is totally ignored because of his brother.
My husband is off too and I still can't cope.
I wish we had never had him.
I hate what he has doen to us.
we have nothing anymore, no family lifre.

Nicky my friends lo was like this, can you express enough to have a night off?
I did this for her when he was 6 weeks or so and just having tht big break from the screaming helped. Could your DP or a good friend give you a break.
I second the suggestion to sleep on his tummy, you could get a sensor pad alarm if you was some extra reassurance re cot death prevention.
When are you next due to see a paed, could you ring them this week and tell them how bad it is at the mo, they may be able to add something in.
I really feel for you I am in Glasgow too but have a car and could drive to you. I am a midwife so police checked and all that
and would be happy to help.

thank you so much, noshouting.

I did a night of expressed milk (dh did it) but it didn;t really work as I woke all the time with sore boobs! He will more than willingly get up and comfort him any time, but it doesn't stop the crying and that is what wears me out.

He has taken him for a run to settle him (try to).

Yy, sleeping on his tummy does help. He sleeps on his tummy on me as otherwise we would get no sleep at all.

I will phone paeds tomorrow, definitely. I keep hoping things will improve at the 13 wk mark as windiness will be better then which makes reflux worse, I think?

Thanks for so much offer to come. I may take you up on that - see how week goes! My mum lives 4 doors down. I'd have cracked up altogether if she didn't.

maybe just a bad day - sure it'll get better again.can you strap him in his car seat somewhere and put him safely in a room where you can't hear him too much for a bit.
i used to do that or just walk the streets for hours on end with the buggy.

i'm at the other end of the uk otherwise i'd come round for a push.

yeah, i am knackered pushing him round.
that's all i do!

i remember that it was freeeeezing in winter too - i'm sure i was half in a dream daze/semi asleep most of the time

Nicky - what are you using for the reflux? We used Gaviscon at first but it made DD constipated - we ended up on Ranitidine

On ranitadine and tried domperidone.

Omeprazoole next.

Gaaviscon rubbish.

Sitting here in tears agian as he just will not sleep/settle and is hideously over tired,

I wish i could drug him.

nothing works.

i am at the end of my tether and i have nothmg, nothing left at all.

.

i am seriously tempted to give him something to make him sleep.
piriton or something,

Nicky I don't have personal experience of what you're going through, but my mum did. My younger sister had terrible reflux when she was a baby. Just so you don't worry about your other child, the experience did me no harm at all (tbh I can't even remember it) and my mum got through it. As will you. I can't even imagine how hard it must be for you at the moment though. Good luck with the paed tomorrow.
One thing though - has he been tested for a leaky stomach valve? That was my sister's problem (although it wasn't diagnosed until much later).

thanks.

today has gone from bad to worse.

he is hysterical with over tirednesss now so this evening will be awful as usual.

Nicky - you have just transported me back in time 11 and a half years. My DD1 (who is DC3) was exactly like this.

Stupid question, and feel free to shoot me, but....

Are you sure its just reflux?

Thats what we thought it was with DD but it ended up (at 14 weeks and through a totally freaky meet up with a different paed doc at a family function) being multiple food intolerances.

She had to go onto a special formula milk, I had to stop breast feeding but within a short time it had started to right itself

She's lovely now - honestly!!

PS Am in northern ireland but if I was closer I'd do a pushing shift (dunno if this would help but we had a "proper" pram and my now XH rigged up an automatic jiggler for it with a wee motor/belt thing it was a lifesaver)

With my DD it was reflux. The other possibility is overstimulation... I know you've got one DS already needing you - but could you take DS2 into a darkened room, put his face to the wall, rhythmically tap his bum and just bore him to sleep?

That's the advice from this guy, who thinks a lot of reflux-type symptoms are overstimulation. Don't kill me - it was a hard message for me to take as well as I have been in your position. But I did swallow it and gave it a go. Did it work? Honestly, no. But it might work for you and anything's worth a go

Nicky I am reading your messages and totally sympathising. My first child, a girl, had horrendous reflux - the worst anyone I've ever met ever had. I thought I was going out of my mind. What cured us was losec (omeprazole) - I suggest you get onto that ASAP.

I now have three children and the youngest sounds the same age as your son - mine was born on 18 May. He showed refluxy symptoms from when I stopped BFing at 8 weeks, and has just been diagnosed as lactose intolerant thanks to a stool sample. He is on Neocate milk and ranitidine.

I am therefore quite experienced in reflux - btw, this is not something I would wish on my worst enemy as I have been to hell and back.

First thing - are you on the maximum possible dose of ranitidine? You have to keep upping the dose as it changes as the child gets heavier. My son now is 7,5kg and on 1.5mls four times a day.

Secondly, get onto omeprazole (losec) ASAP. It is magic stuff - takes a while to work, but is magic.

Thirdly, get some earplugs and put them in. Shut your baby's door, and hide under the duvet. When things are tough you need your sleep.

FOurthly - remember that this WILL PASS. Your child will not die, nor will you. Sounds silly, but I know that in the depths of reflux misery, you think either or both of you will die. YOU WON'T.

Good luck, and I promise you it will all be ok in the end.

xxx

Gosh, I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time.

DS1 had reflux, but didn't get it until he was 6 months old. Nighttimes were hellish, until we started putting him in his carseat to sleep, being upright really seemed to help. It was cranial osteopathy that cured him in the end as the meds were making no difference.

Now, about a year and a half ago I got an excruciating pain in my stomach. It was a classic acid stomach, so not dissimilar to reflux, only the acid wasn't coming up into my osophegus. I was in tears with the pain. Zantac which is Ritadine I think was useless, but Losec worked a charm although it took 3 days to kick in. I was also on painkillers which helped. Ask your GP can you give him something for pain to see if that helps, you can get paracetemol suppositories which we use for dd.

I hsd several bouts of that pain over a year long period and after lots of negative tests for a stomach ulcer, I had food allergy testing which showed an intollerance to dairy. I have had no episodes of the stomach pain since I gave up dairy.

Would you think of trying soy formula? That fact that he was worse when you had dairy implies that he is sensitive to it, and often food intolerances go together so there may be something else in your diet that is affecting him, but pinpointing it is so hit and miss. I am loathe to suggest anyone should stop BF, but perhaps it would be worth trying.

The other thing that helped me when I was in pain was heat on the upper part of my stomach, high up under the ribs where the acid was burning. A hot water bottle or one of those cherry stone things you can microwave.

Thinking of you and hope you both get some relief soon, xx.

Thanks for the replies.

yy, he definitely gets over-stimulated and very over tired at times.I try to keep things boring, but when he has a bad refluxy day, nothing really helps.

I am phoning paeds today. Think we are trying Omeprazale next, so might get it this week, I hope.

Again, thanks for replying and sharing tales of misery gone by - it really helps.

wrt other problems, yes, the hospital have been good, testing stools and will do more tests if he doesn't respond to omeprazole.

nicky - i so feel your pain. no one would take DD1. MIL said she would take her one night to give us a break. She phoned at half ten to say come and get her I can't do this lol.

I wish I was closer so I could help.

Also, I can't remember if you've said this but have you tried putting him to sleep on his side/back? We found with DD that this really made a difference - well we thought it did, and were so desperate that if i'd been told to go and stand naked in the garden to put her to sleep I would've done it.

but try to remember (and I know its hard) he won't die from crying, so if you need to leave him to cry sometimes and go and hide sit in the garden with a cuppa then you're not a bad mum and it won't harm him, honestly.

and it will get better. he won't be squealing when he's 15! Welllllll, actually, he will but it will be over different stuff....

I would definitely go for the omeprazole as quickly as you possibly can and get them to give you as big a dose as possible, we started on a smaller dose and then upped it a few weeks later. We went down the other route first - rantidine/zantac, domperidone etc - but absolutely nothing worked until we got omeprazole. Then it wasn't an overnight cure but things got gradually (and hugely) better within about 10 days, eating better, normal crying as opposed to high-pitched screaming and sleeping regularly. If I knew then what I know now, I would have been begging for omeprazole Day 1.

I really really feel for you. At the time, you think the screaming will tip you over the edge - I can remember phoning my husband at work and saying "you have to come home, I can't take anymore!". It really does get better though.

Forgot to say that we also did cranial osteopathy (for flat head) so that might have helped the reflux, hard to tell. Also Dr brown's bottles seem to make a difference. I also made constant use of the sling to keep him upright and even fed him in it (with his head tipped back) as that seemed to help him.

Hope you get the omeprazole quickly and good luck.

hi nicky, I was on another thread of yours, is there anything I can do to help?

Oh you poor love and your poor ds!!!

Really takes me back 7 years to when ds1 was a baby.

If it makes you feel any better nicky - if I I had physically had the strength to walk out of the hospital and leave ds1 there I would have I was truly at the end of my tether. He wouldnt feed and he wouldnt sleep (well he would, as long as someone was holding him). I even started calling him "it" when referring to him . I am very ashamed of this, of course, especially as now he is a delightful, loving and fantastic 7 year old who I love to distraction but I wouldnt have beleived that if someone had told me 7 years ago!!!

My son had prolonged jaundice and (after me asking repeatedly for weeks) they eventually did some blood tests and he was found to have a strep infection in his blood. It got better after the IV antibiotics in that he started to feed but he never slept well.

I can honestly say I have no good memories of my sons first 6 months

It will get better but you need help now. Can you get him a meds review with the paed? Also, ask to get his blood tested while you are there.

Really hope today is better for you x

I vividly remember one day when DD was about 3 months (ie before the diagnosis) she squealed all the time (my neighbour came up to me at the school and asked me could I not keep that thing quiet FFS) and I put her in her cot and came downstairs and phoned my H and said you have to come home and you have to come home now. If you don't I'll have to go back in there and if I go in there I'll start to hit her and I'll never stop

so ashamed of myself now and never told anyone that

I didn't, he didn't come home either but we got through somehow

Thank you very much.

My Mum is walking him atm, poor sod.

I have also felt like hitting him thought even the thought of actually doing it fills me with horror. Instead, I have taken it out on inanimate objects. And myself. I have a bruise where I hit my head off the wall.

This is dh's first day back at wokr after 7 weeks off.