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MN Little Italy 21

999 replies

BananaGio · 08/02/2010 09:06

Ciao tutte!!

OP posts:
Rosa · 01/03/2010 16:54

I refuse to drive in Milan or Rome and I after driving in Palermo I vowed never again ! I do drive overhere and used to do 1000 of km a year but obviously living here we do less!!!! Hats off to all those who do drive in those big cities full of maaaaddd drivers !
I need Bucharest as well as I can't find the how to get BBC I player overseas without spending a fortune and DH the computer whizz is being very unhelpful. ( I wonder if its because I want to see Eastenders?????)
Oh husbandless women enjoy the space in the big bed......Unless they get filled by the dc!

Francagoestohollywood · 01/03/2010 20:01

Oh yes Rosa, I remember you saying you drove in Palermo: pazza!!! . This summer we took a taxi from Milazzo's harbour to Milazzo's train station, I was at the speed reached by this guy. Both me and dh were in such a shock (and scared) that we didn't dare saying anything to him. A bit silly in hindsight not complaining.

Sputnik · 01/03/2010 20:26

I would never be able to drive in Palermo without thinking of this

Francagoestohollywood · 01/03/2010 20:34

I forgot about that one "il traffico tentacolare"

Francagoestohollywood · 01/03/2010 21:50

Rosa! Never mind the Brangelinas... Johnny Depp is in Venice... wear your fake moustache and a mac and find him for us!

SuiGeneris · 01/03/2010 22:59

Franca: what's up with your driving? Confidence or skill? I ask because I suspect we might be in similar situations- I basically do not drive through lack of confidence. DH keeps telling me I ride in cars of people who drive as I do, or worse, but I feel safer in a car driven by pretty much anyone bar me... If it is lack of confidence for you too, then I would pick an instructor you trust to talk straight, so that when he tells you your driving is fine you can believe him (it worked for me to a certain extent).

MM: delighted you enjoyed skiing. All this talk of snow and sledges seems a [happy] lifetime away.

Having a pretty low day here : BF has gone wrong again (baby won't latch on properly and nipples that had just healed from thrush are sore again- and this time even expressing hurts) and physio I saw today said I am too weak and won't be able to start the post-pregnancy rehab course for pelvic girdle pain until mid-April at the earliest. And since the main problem are the abs, I am likely to be stuck with strange- shape stomach for a good few weeks still.

The BF issues are the real downer -it is heartbreaking to have a crying baby rooting for the breast and being unable to offer what he wants. Also feel I spend life attached to the pump instead of the baby and am concerned about wasting valuable bonding time (and energy, and happiness). DH is v supportive and takes a problem-solving approach to it, so has just bought me a nursing chair and wants to hire BF guru recommended by NCT mates who BF easily. I cannot help and wonder whether, live driving, this is a skill I will never master: have seen 7 specialists about BF so far, with no luck.

TheMysticMasseuse · 02/03/2010 08:41

Drving: after many, many years of "I can't drive I am too scared etc" the day finally came that I realise not driving was hampering my quality of life... sometimes after having dd2 i realised that moving around with 2 children in London by public transport, while eminently feasible, was not hugely practical so I started driving again. took maybe 10 driving lessons and tried some hypnosis.

Here in Geneva I HAVE to drive or else I'll have no life. I am still not comfortable driving huge distances/on motorways, and i do have my fair share of extremely hairy moments (mostly involving lane changes... my nemesis) but am getting there slowly and hopefully safely. fingers crossed. automatic car helps, as does satnav. No way I would ever drive in Rome though! let alone Palermo (Rosa is my hero for that)

Sui, darling, I am sorry you are feeling so down. I really don't know what to say, on the one hand, breastfeeding is wonderful and fantastic and worth sticking to... but... and i say this purely in order to offer an alternative possibility, so take it or leave it... your sanity, happiness, and health (all of which are hugely dependent on your physical wellbeing and pain-free existence!) are much, much more important to your baby's current and future wellbeing.

Men's operating mode is problem solving- I do genuinely think they know no other way, and your dh is of course looking at this as something that needs fixing because he thinks that's the best way of helping you. But at some point- it would be ok for you to say to him, enough, it's not helping, you are just going to have to accept that this has not worked out, and stop trying to "fix things" . you know in your heart of hearts whether you want to keep going or not, whether it's worth hiring a guru (highly dubious of gurus btw, in any discipline...). Your dh will- should- be supportive of whatever you decide, as long as it makes you happy.

Breastfeeding, parenting, hell even driving are not "skills", there is no exam, no judgement, no pecking order of parents based on whether/how long/how easily we breastfed or our kids slept through the night or how far we drove them!

You have done a wonderful job so far, and if you called it a day now, you should only feel proud (ok, a little sad maybe, but not defeated or guilty!) of how far you've come.

This is not a popular view on MN, but truly, NO ONE in RL will ever judge you, and they do, they are completely lacking in empathy and perspective, so fu*k them as our Baltimore friends would say . You should not judge yourself.

I don't know if this is what you wanted to hear, and as i said, it's not advice. but i just wanted to offer an alternative perspective...

Sputnik · 02/03/2010 10:11

SG, sorry to hear you're having a bad day. I would echo all that MM has said, my advice would be to see the bf "guru" if you're ok with it, if it helps then all well and good, if it doesn't then you can move on knowing you tried everything you possibly could.
As for getting your body back it's frustrating I know but there will be time for that when the rest has settled down. Take care.

Francagoestohollywood · 02/03/2010 11:13

Darling SG, I cannot but echo Masseuse's and Sputnik's posts, they speak wise words.
And yes, I agree with Masseuse that mum's sanity, health and happiness are incredibly important. Parenting is soooo many things, one of which is the right compromise between the child's needs and those of the parents, us.
I'd never judge a mother for her feeding choices, to be honest (and I know this puts me at risk of many mumsnetters's fury ), I usually empathize with a mother's struggles, more than anything.

As for driving, for me it's a mix of lack of self confidence, the awareness of not being the most relaxed driver ever (the thought of blocking the traffic as I'm terrible at parking paralizes me ) and a bit of ecologismo.
Milan certainly doesn't need another pazzo at the wheel

SG, let us know how you are doing

Francagoestohollywood · 02/03/2010 11:14

my post doesn't make sense! What masseuse and sputnik said.

BananaGio · 02/03/2010 11:19

SG echo everything MM has said-good advice! I quite agree with the idea that while it is great to bf I do not believe it is the be all and end all as your wellbeing is also very important (Gio runs and hides to escape MN flaming at idea that maybe formula can sometimes be the answer)
I have had stomach bug for 2 days now and am very bored of it! At least its a change from the usual colds that seem to plague me!

OP posts:
Francagoestohollywood · 02/03/2010 12:06

YO Gio! . bah re the stomach bug, povera!

Rosa · 02/03/2010 12:50

SG well done for getting this far and persisting . What ever choice you make you know you will have done everything possible to BF ..You are a star.
Gio your poor thing has ds had the bug as well ? NOtice in school today 1 case of scarlatina +streptococco..... Nooo please not us .

Francagoestohollywood · 02/03/2010 13:43

Rosa, any JD sighting?

It's spring here, btw! (not sure how long it'll last)

TheMysticMasseuse · 02/03/2010 15:33

Ahhhh Johnny Depp... before I got totally obsesses with him, I was v obsessed with Johnny...

spring here too...

Sputnik · 02/03/2010 15:56

Yes, please let's get back to important matters

Sputnik · 02/03/2010 16:02

I saw this and thought of you MM.

TheMysticMasseuse · 02/03/2010 16:11

Oh God Sput, I don't want to think what that says about me....

(I am snorty laughing though...!!!)

Sputnik · 02/03/2010 16:16

Actually, I mean't to say this earlier but then went out, I don't buy this BF "police" on MN thing at all. I would say about 99% of people on here are supportive of whatever choices other people make.
Mind you, I do tend to avoid the provocative threads.

TheMysticMasseuse · 02/03/2010 16:20

the 1% is very loud though, and when you are already feeling vulnerable about your choices, it's the staunch, rigid, non compromising positions that you tend to hear, rather than the accomodating and well balanced ones. that's my experience anyway.

TheMysticMasseuse · 02/03/2010 16:20

God I am so bored today.

Sputnik · 02/03/2010 16:33

I found that lovely pillow on this site, if you feel like a laugh.
I particularly like this, and they have an entire section for twilight

Francagoestohollywood · 02/03/2010 20:21

Is there an Omar Little pillow?
My books on the wire have just arrived, btw. I will bring my obsession to the next level, and hopefully will stop boring you

I think, yes, maybe it's just 1%, but very vocal

Sputnik · 02/03/2010 21:03

My question exactly Franca!
I'm off to Baltimore now too.

Camomilla · 02/03/2010 21:07

hello everyone, just a quick hi, I'm still here before DP takes this back.... had a quick catch up, haven't been ignoring, just very busy with work with everyone rushing stuff through before the elections are called, plus doing the economist job while she was on hols (god help us if she doesn't pass her las exams... plus had tonsillitis AGAIN! on the positive, went with BF to get her wedding dress last week, just gorgeous, the dress itself and her in it IYKWIM... do I really have to spend that much on mine though!?!?

SG, sometimes things just don't go the way you want them to, but that doesn't mean that you've failed, you're trying really hard

Rosa, MIL is the same re house, but hers is a bit of a indoor bootsale... she had to tell her brother whom she hadn't seen in years not to visit them . DP is a bit the same, like you we run out of space and can;t keep on top of things sometimes, though we're getting a bit better, just need some nice dry weather to take care of the leaks.
must go, DP's researching stuff for his new business and camping, as we've decided we're getting a nice tent and go camping when the weather is good (as between wedding, easter and xmas we will only be able to have the odd w=end here and there, with DP working every other sat too now....

anyway, bacl soon, hope you're all well

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