MN Little Italy 10

[francagoestohollywood]

Welcome, ciao, hello

Sounds like you'll be busy tomorrow, Rosa! Good luck!

We can all fight when you get back!

(Too many exclamation marks in this post!)

no, you are not a bad mum,it takes a lot more to be 1, i think. why do you think you are not the right mum for him? i would make sure i praise him more, and tell him lots of times a day how much you love him, and praise wehn he makes an effort reading, and just be super positive when he does something nice. I thnk 6 is a hard age, leaning to separate dalla mamma, diventare grande. Maybe get dh to spend time with him alone, do bonding stuff.

what do you mean unconditional?

Ciao Rosa!!!!!!
even more exclamation marks, just to be competititive with Penthe!!!!!!

Omg Rosa, where are you going? I know you must have said it already, but I can't remember

Rosa, yes, he was in a state tonight, a he was expecting to fall asleep in 1 minute and getting impatient. I think he must be starting to develop anxieties (which may or may not be related to school) and needs to learn how to relax again.
Yes, I think he'd love to have me or dh beside him to hold his hand until he is asleep. And it'd be the best thing. But I am - stupidly - afraid that this is going to result in yrs of me spending hrs at his side. Why am I so silly?

hot - do you want a fight, huh??

franca - you're not silly. It's natural to be anxious about creating a situation or habit you feel will be hard to break.

But maybe, just for a few days, you need to do something like this, just to get him back to feeling comfortable with bedtime again.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think my relationship with ds is complex, and that's due (I think) with the way I "lived" his babyhood. He was a very demanding little baby and I felt it was my fault. We both have inflammable tempers and are both very lovable at the same time. I think I'm sending him mixed messages of love but also of "impatience". With "unconditional" I mean I should be more accepting of the (very few) traits of his personality that clash with mine.
Gosh I sound awful. Sorry about the rant, I'll feel more optimistic tomorrow.

YOU DO NOT SOUND AWFUL! Stop giving yourself such a hard time.

I suspect all parents (and all people) send mixed messages: I think it's because we're all mixed up anyway, IYSWIM? No one can be smoothly consistent, all the time. That's not what being human is, anyway.

Would a hot milky drink and a later bedtime make a difference? Maybe he's grown out of an 8.30 bedtime, and needs 9?

I definitely think giving him a CD player and Ipod or something to listen to could help. He won't feel so alone in the dark, and it'll occupy his mind and trick him into falling asleep. Works for me, anyway.

CD player or Ipod, I meant.

Obviously, cramming his bed full of gadgets is unlikely to be restful for him...

i have bad times with ds, being awful to him, but..they were blips, we cannot be perfect, and i don't think kids need perfect mums, just allright is fine, and you can turn things round...

lol
Ah thank you all for listening to my rants. Yes, dh reckons he might have outgrown his bedtime. But we have the small matter of dd, who needs her 11 hrs, but wouldn't, of course, go to bed without him.
We need a bigger house

O o o o o orzoro (or whatever it is) - I like this when I go to Italy!

i think 6 is too young for music in the room, what willyou give him when he is 10, i think you need to sort out your relationship with him..

as much as i have learnt ot care fo penthe's oponion.

Hmmm, tricky... Trying to remember how my parents coped with us (4.5 years between us)...

It's true that I wouldn't normally suggest something like this - I agree that it is too young in most circumstances... But if he's lying there when DD is asleep, wishing he could sleep too - that's tough. It may not be all about his relationship with his mummy; and listening to stories isn't such a bad thing for a 6yr old.

orzoro. from the 1960s

Hot, Penthe, we don't fight here [stern]. Do you want me to find you a nice wohm/sahm thread to crash into?

There you go!

I don't know if I've drunk that - but something similar and malted, I think. Much much much nicer than Ovaltine, which is horrid.

I think maybe I'm channelling DH's love of singing Italian jingles.

Like: se c'e la goccia e jim!

lol, i always think everythng has to do with our relationship with mummy.

what about a bedside lamp and books to look at?

LOL franca!

No - I would be all schizophrenic on such a thread; currently SAHM, but going back to work in Sept. I think I may implode if I get into such a discussion...

Yes, I need to sort out our relationship (which - by no means is so bad) and I don't know where to start.

hot... Are you a Freudian analyst, by any chance?

sorry for the cheap pop psychology..

what about the cynar advert? how did it go?

What feels like the most "problematic" part of your r'ship with DS? (I don't think problematic is a good word here, as clearly things aren't bad at all - but can't think of a better one).