MN Little Italy 10

[francagoestohollywood]

Welcome, ciao, hello

Yes, I'm that Freudian too Hot. Actually, my relationship with my mum is weird, and I think I'm projecting on ds. Weirdly it's totally different with dd. Boh.
But seriously, I'd have said that ds is quite a happy chap!

lol

notte girls

Notte, hot.

The most problematic? Boh. The problem is that sometimes I feel trapped into the pattern my mum had forged with me, which was love and protection but immense control. And I don't want to do that. But I panic if I feel I'm losing control with him iyswim (not always of course, just in a few situations). Weirdly I'm totally different with dd. As if I trusted her more .
Well, this is better than seeing a psicoterapeuta.

latest Cynar ad by Elio e Le Storie Tese

Do you think he senses this "panic" (again, strong word) - particularly with regard to bedtime (if you had problems before)? Sleep & bedtime are such classic flashpoints.

I would suggest being more relaxed about bedtime in general with him - allow him to make the move first when he's tired & ready to go. But I realise that this is very difficult when you have DD to think about.

Maybe, though, he does need to have a different bedtime - his own bedtime. Perhaps some way can be found to make her understand that too?

'But I am - stupidly - afraid that this is going to result in yrs of me spending hrs at his side. Why am I so silly?'

franca that's what I was afraid with dd1 during her sleep-problem time. now I wish I just gave her time. it does not last forever. now for example we let her come on our bed for '5 minutes' and she does go back to her own bed after much more relaxed.

I agree 6 is a tough age for what I remember. school and peer pressure is immense I think. but at that age I do not think it can be expressed into words hence the anxiety. (cheap psychology)

I feel guilty about rel with dd1 for the same reason as yours. although I know I am a great mum and give her a lot at times I think I don't 'axcept' her naughtiness (almost nihil). maybe is first child syndrome.

I think different bedtime is a good idea. also they sense the panic. I am sure dd1 sensed that dh and I were desperate to have a break on our own (not wrong but should have been done in a more relaxed way).

Awwww thank you all, you are giving me food for thought here .

Yes, I agree that at 6 it is difficult to put your feelings re the outside world into words and that can cause anxiety.

And yes, I think we need to rearrange bedtime for him (again!! You don't know how many "stages" we've been through with him. I was now being smug and thought that this "easiness" would last forever )

And Pippi it is probably a first child syndrome. And that he is a boy, which, again, makes things more complicated in my case.

must go dd2 is coughing like mad poverina... god knows how she'll sleep.

poor dd.
I must go too, dh is brushing his teeth

notte

Thank you all again (and sorry, I sounded a bit "wet" if that;s the right adjective)

must be no-sleep night. DD has finally fallen asleep (up since 5pm!).

Franca, DS had a few nights like yours, he'd be in bed just staring at the ceiling saying "see, I can't sleep", getting really worked up and teary, and the only thing that worked was me lying next to him stroking his hair. I put it down to him needing more attention since DD arrived...

I'm sure you're a great mum, it'll pass

Def. no sleeping here, Sunflower!

DD awake at 5am; takes me about 20 mins to come round fully (all the time worrying about vegetables, WTF??? Why is it when you wake up you think the weirdest things???). Anyway, once I'd finished worrying about carrot sticks, I realised my PFB was chattering away to herself, so I wiggle my boob in her face, hoping she'll drop off. It's dark outside, and DH has hidden the alarm clock , so no idea of time... Anyway, after what seems like an age, she starts to bite as well as babble [ouch], so I figure I may as well get up... It's 5.25!!

Well, turns out she had done a MASSIVE poo (I guess I missed all the grunting and nnnrrrggghhhing while I was angsting over chopped veg): I suppose I wouldn't want to sleep either with cold, slimy poo on my arse.

Well, that's it, we're up. Or rather, now I'm up, and she's asleep again in the sling.

Hooray.

Hey - Bucharest - I meant to say - PMSL at the thought of you as an IREM rep. That whole situation is pretty unpleasant. The British position is just so, well, contradictory and illogical.

It's snowed again here.

Pippi - hope your DD was ok, poveretta.

have a minute but horribl;e night. dd2 coughing like a trouper poverina eneded up in our bed = no sleeep. who would have said that a superkingsize was just big enough for a stretched 9 months old??

must go. ciao.

10 months .

Morning all....
Just had quick flick through thread..

BS- hope the return to work is going OK!

I think 6 is a difficult age- they start, I think, to separate from us, which causes them mischievous glee and panic at the same time.....

Hmmm. I'm still banging my head against a virtual brick wall on the "furriners out" debate about IREM.....does anyone know how much their salary will be, or if they are paying Italian taxes? (this seems to be cornerstone of ignorant kneejerkery)And the horrid thing is it seems to be being hijacked by the BNP now, in much the same way as the "BabyP" thing was, which makes me ashamed and horrified to be British and to think that some people can be so thick as to blindly believe everything they read/hear.....argh.

Have headache after festa in maschera...although Cinderella was the only Cinderella amongst about 13 Belles so that made me gloat in PFB kind of way....

Also did the necessary networking for the iscrizioni and am going up there on Monday with 2 other mummies to put the smalls' names down. Scary smacky teacher (whose raccomandati list we were advertently on, thanks to the woman I know) is thankfully retiring (with her glasses on chain) and the other one we liked the sound of already has a full class of preferiti so we're just going to go with whoever...who hopefully will be young, enthusiastic, trained (always a plus down here....) which is the kind of teacher all the Vips don't want, so there should be plenty of places! (they all seem to want smackyscaryTeacher types...)

bucharest tis true abot the smackyscary... those tipes are the ones I had - and all the mums killled goats to be able to secure a place. I wasn't at all traumatised but I always wished I had one of those young enthusiastic ones tbh. they seem to like old witches in italy.

There seems to be this attitude amongst the mums that "mio figlio ha bisogno di essere seguito" (ie walloped) that I just don't get..."seguito" in the sense of nurtured, encouraged, yes, but terrorised?

The other mums that I'm going with were both "oooh dear, what shall we do now scarywoman is retiring?" And I'm like Phew!

you have the best attitude bucharest. you should have seen my secondary school teacher - una brutta copia della strega verde del mago di oz!!!!!! like I said I wasn't terrorized, a bit frightened yes, but the boys in my class where petrified, to this day at the memory! yes no surprise that most boys become not particularly academic during those years and are a bit rebels...who woudn't when you are so misunderstood or not understood at all. most of my male classmates were bright lads (now painters,poets etc) but considered a total waste of space by school teachers throught secondary and high school. what a waste!

I really think I have to cut down on MN btw.

re IREM I am in disbelief. how one sided the whole campaign is. does no one remembers all the british companies that work on contracts abroad? Unfortunately in such matters I have a non-fight attitute - which I am sure is wrong - but it seems to me pointless to debate against pure ignorance and narrowmindness.

penthe at grand design house. we must know more details when/if you can. haven't I chosen a great lover !

now I'm going to tidy up and I'll stop talking to myself.