Could you forgive ...

[chocmonster112]

Could you forgive your partner of 7 years of having a brief affair with someone and the other woman having his baby?
We have 3 children together, he doesn't want anything to do with the other child.

Could I forgive the affair? I don't think so but it's hard to be sure without being in that situation.

Could I forgive him for wanting nothing to do with his child? I think that's worse tbh. The child deserves to have a dad.

Why doesn't he want anything to do with the other child? He's coming across as a low life OP.

I could not forgive someone who doesn't want to be a parent of its child.

No I couldn't get over this.

I don't know if I could forgive the affair or not but he doesn't want anything to do with the other child. ... no, that I couldn't forgive. Maybe his other child's mother doesn't want him to but I just can't imagine being with a man with that attitude.

Well he's charming, not wanting anything to do with his child.

No. He should parent ALL his children.
I would kick him out.

Then his previous children suffer.

I couldn't forgive the affair, I couldn't forgive the betrayal of me and our shared children, and I could never love, respect or even look at a man who wanted nothing to do with a child he created just because the manner of said child's creation was inconvenient for him. Absolutely not. He deserves to be strung up by his foreskin just for that, never mind the rest of it.

@poppyzbrite4 he just says he doesn't want 2 families

Well, he shouldn't have made two families. I don't think I could forgive.

At the moment the affair isn't even what I'm thinking about! It's the fact he has 3 children with me, obviously another with ow and can reject the other child, so if he found someone else he really liked could he do the same to our kids, I never see him as this kind of person, I know I'm still in shock and haven't taken any of it in properly

He knows what it's like to love your own child so why wouldn't he want the other child in his life, does he pretend about how he feels about our kids, I'm so confused

No, I couldn't forgive that.

@chocmonster112 Your story reminds me of a man I used to know, for 20 years, married, always trying to have sex with me. He was incapable of fidelity to his wife (+ three children). The marriage was already doomed by her alcoholism and his repeated cheating on her. But, anyway, it got to the point where they separated, and during the separation he of course goes off happily to fuck another woman, who gets pregnant. Not a relationship, just a few fucks. Then he's delighted and revoltingly pleased with himself for siring another child. As his friend on the outside of this, I found it really awful that he was so pleased with himself.

No, I'd never be able to trust him again. I'd also feel extremely sad for the child.

he just says he doesn't want 2 families

Ah, diddums.

I would have more respect for a man that says, yes, I let my dick lead my brain

than one who would negate a child he created.

Sorry you're going through this OP. I'm a solo mum - my sister also with 3 - and it's just so much more chill than the drama the alternative brings.

yes, there's a lot for you to process.

I think he loves you/your children together and it's different when he doesn't love the woman who's going to be the mother of this upcoming child.

I'm so sorry OP...

Don't know if you can ever understand men like this...

As been said before, I feel I'd respect him more if he took responsibility and had a relationship with his other child, he was ok making the child so now I think he should step up, I told him that's a massive decision to make, to decide to basically reject your child but he's adamant

As I said.. I don't understand men like this

It's his own blood for crying out loud

So sad...

It's a story as old as time. Men care about the children they make with their wife, they don't (usually) care about the children which happen as a result of an affair or even a casual relationship when the man is single.

@alwayslearning789 I definitely look at him differently and have lost respect for him, I've spoken to the ow on the phone and she's devastated that he is not stepping up and I told her I didn't understand it and even though she is the ow, I've tried fighting her corner for her but to no avail

@RogueFemale I think mothers feel differently about their kids, I could never for any reason under any circumstances reject my own child I just really don't understand it