So embarrassed I wanted to die.

[Katkins17]

So I bought my shopping in Tesco...as you do....said thank you to the cashier when she gave me the receipt and my brain couldn't decide whether it wanted to say 'you're welcome' or 'no problem' so instead it shouted quite loudly to the cashier and the whole queue behind me ...

'YOU'RE THE PROBLEM'

I just stood there, with us all looking uncomfortable and not knowing what to say .... plus a few sniggers behind.

What is the worse thing you've said without meaning to ?????

I'm going to hail everyone I meet from now on 'you there, Bublé'

@MarkWithaC

It's our bacon sandwich eating Secretary of State for energy & net zero!

Don't give him too much credit, it's the first & last time I've ever seen him, although that could be due to my actions!

No, that's fabulous, everyone should play banana guns sometimes

You put him off doorstepping for life
I bet he tells it as a funny story at dinner parties.

I’m the one that feels like a numpty now🤦‍♀️🤣. It sounds so wrong as a word.

Ha ha OP I've been there as young retail staff. Got stuck between saying 'dead on' and 'you're grand' and ended up saying 'you're dead' !!

Just swiftly moved on to the next transaction without acknowledging it but the customer was probably a bit disturbed.

My friend was coming to pick me up so we could go to the gym, I’d been standing at the front door waiting but then thought I should do a quick wee. I left the front door open and popped to the toilet which isn’t too far from the front door, I didn’t shut the toilet door properly and then there was a knock so thinking it was her I shouted “just doing a wee so I don’t piss myself on the treadmill”. Well it wasn’t her it was the Amazon delivery man, I tried to laugh it off by saying I thought he was someone else but he didn’t even blink, just stared at me and walked off!!

In a pub garden one evening, I could see a guy I knew standing by the door. As I passed him going into the pub I said hi. On the way out I pinched his arse. Except it wasn't him. Dressed in exactly the same shirt and jacket, and said friend was a few feet away pointing and laughing.
Somewhere I worked customer facing, a lady with a toddler, who was chatting to me, animal noises etc. I asked her what doggies do? Then proceeded to tell this child they do doo doos in the garden 😳🫣 I have no explanation for this. I am intelligent, honest guv 😂
I too have got in the wrong car, with a man, when my female friend is in the car behind wetting herself. I said to him 'you're not 'Jess' as if he didn't already have this information.

I said to him 'you're not 'Jess' as if he didn't already have this information.

This made me LOL @Katkins17

From others..
My lovely mum, in hospital, trying to explain to the nurses and doctors she wasn't feeling right .
I heard her saying 'I don't know if I'm Arthur or Martha '
I found a quiet moment to explain that one 😂

First time my (16 yr old) friend was at her boyfriends family home for dinner. His mum asks after dinner if she would like any lychees? No thank you, she says, I only like cheddar

I once had a very moany customer on. Seemed to be no placating her, and no manager in to pass her up to.
I put her on hold and had an expletive heavy rant to my colleague (only 2 of us in the building). Then I could hear a faint 'hello, I can hear you , you know' 😱
Not my finest moment (hadn't long left school, colleague similar age, no training) and I apologised

We had a new CEO. He was based in a different building to us and we were soon to be moving there. I met him for the first time and the following week I took my deputy over to meet him and to see our new premises. We walked into his office and he got up to greet us. I immediately grabbed him by both arms and proceeded to kiss him, once on each cheek. For fucks sake why??? He looked a bit surprised but styled it out. Ten years later my armpits still prickle with embarrassment when I think about it.

Oh that tickled me

When I worked in shoe shop a man asked me if the trainers were bisexual. I was only 15 and struggled to keep a straight face while I confirmed that they were definitely unisex, bisexual I couldn’t answer for 🤣

At least he was a gentleman!

That just made me snort laugh.

Today, someone in my Mum's residential home coughed and l said out loud ,
' it wasn't the cough that carried you off, it was the coffin they carried you off in' You could hear a pin drop

Doing some training with the police. Very serious around best way to handle young offenders with autism - about making sure it was a safe space to talk etc.

Talking about a lad needing a quiet place to chat he said "so I took the young fellow up the back passage.."
Cue me catching the eye of the only person I really shouldn't have and just shaking and shaking with laughter. Everyone else remained stony faced.

Just had a massage - the lady hands me what I assume is a shower cap - I try to avoid single use plastics so say ‘ thank you, it’s ok … Itll need a wash later anyways’

she looks mortified - and shows me it’s a pair of knickers…, ‘ it’ll need a wash later anyway’ was literally the worst thing I could have said in response to someone offering me knickers

it’ll need a wash later anyway’ was literally the worst thing I could have said in response to someone offering me knickers

This is brilliant @IMBCRound2 . You and @Isittoolatea should be mates!

This is fucking amazing 😂

I remember the first time I had a smear test, the nurse was talking me through it as I went along, and to show me I had to open my legs she said “now go like this” and motioned with her arms separating like legs. I copied her and did the arm movement with my arms 😳

Well, you have some famous company! When George Bush (the First) was running for president in 1988, he notoriously described his experience of serving as Ronald Reagan's vice president: "We've had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We've had some sex . . . uh . . . setbacks."

And he still got elected!

I was doing a very stressful task at work when my phone rang. I picked it up an said "Hello how can you help me?"

Have another!

First day in a new job and I coincidentally arrived at the door at the same time as the CEO. He said hello have we met etc etc and I introduced myself as I waited for him to open the door - as I was new, I had no entry fob.

He had a briefcase in one hand and a coffee in the other and he said ' you wouldn't just get my fob card out my pocket would you, ha ha etc?'

I immediately dived into his TROUSER pocket and rootled round his testicles basically, as he gasped a bit and said 'my top pocket!!!'

It was then I saw it half way out of his suit jacket pocket,

Omg that's hilarious 😂. Did you have to work with him?

This has made me laugh!

My cringe moment....My next door neighbour said his wife's dad had just died and some friends were coming over to comfort her. He wanted to apologise in advance as there might be some singing later that night (they're from an African country so this is quite normal).

After telling him how sorry I was and not to worry about the singing, it wouldn't disturb us, I mentioned that I'd heard them singing one night a while ago and it sounded really lovely. He said I was welcome to join them. I said "no thank you, I'll just listen through the wall." Then, as if that wasn't bad enough, I said "Bye then, have a nice night!" My mouth just wouldn't stop, I was so embarrassed!