So embarrassed I wanted to die.

[Katkins17]

So I bought my shopping in Tesco...as you do....said thank you to the cashier when she gave me the receipt and my brain couldn't decide whether it wanted to say 'you're welcome' or 'no problem' so instead it shouted quite loudly to the cashier and the whole queue behind me ...

'YOU'RE THE PROBLEM'

I just stood there, with us all looking uncomfortable and not knowing what to say .... plus a few sniggers behind.

What is the worse thing you've said without meaning to ?????

Sorry but I have read this several times and it still doesn't make sense which smacks of AI?!! 🙄Surely if the OP said 'thankyou' to the cashier it would have been the cashier who would have replied with either 'no problem' or 'you're welcome'?! 🤔😨

Just choked on a glass of wine reading that one! Brilliant! 😂

I’m a nursery teacher and our little ones often do this. Reach for your hand and say ”mum”, before they realise. I always tell them that I am sure your mum miss you too, and I will hold your hand until she picks you up if you want.

Pupil 1 had told Pupil 2 (both aged 10) that highlighter pen could seep through your skin and give you blood poisoning.

A couple of hours after telling him this, in an otherwise quiet and orderly classroom, Pupil 1 swiped Pupil 2's hand with highlighter pen. Pupil 2 leapt up and ran to the sink to wash his hands. I couldn't work out what had happened but Pupil 2 was telling me that he didn't want blood poisoning, and Pupil 1 was laughing.

So I tried to tell them both off, by trying to say "Stop mucking about" to Pupil 1, and "Stop fussing" to Pupil 2. And somehow I ended up with a mixture of "fussing" and "mucking."

@BirthdayRainbow haha. I think the opposite is probably true! His Mrs is really nice though. Regularly friendly and normal seeming!

😂😂

One of my colleagues said wanky instead of Yankee 😆

I ended a work call "Thanks, love you too." and it was someone I very much do not love.

A wedding on a country estate, 300 people. One guest, a friend of the groom's parents had been in the merchant navy. A real hell raiser, street fighter, with a broad Geordie accent. He was very chatty, loved a party, very traditional he tried hard to get with the times, sometimes failing. He promised not to drop any clangers with the last two guests to arrive at our table. When they finally arrived, instead of saying "Hi guys" he said "Hey gays".

Me, to my best friend's mum when she had come round to visit my new garden flat for the second time (the first time she had brought me a lovely plant for the garden)...... 'I've planted your super purple clitoris here'!

Fortunately she had a super sense of humour and saw the funny side, but I was mortified at the time.

ive asked people if there ok and they say yes thanks you and i go onto say yes thanks you again 🤣

Disturbing the neighbours with my laughter...........

Just waiting for the PM to appear on this thread

I approached a French man in a bar intending to ask him, in French, for the time. Instead, in French, I asked him how old he was. He replied, in perfect English, ‘you want to know the time?’, told me the time (in English), then proceeded to slag me off (in French) to the barman. He seemed unnaturally annoyed. But I felt such a twat 😔

Called at the vicarage to collect my daughter from her confirmation class. A new neighbour ,who had been living in America for years arrived at the same time to collect hers. The vicar showed us into a sitting room with a roaring log fire. He went to fetch the children who were playing with his kids. He came back in ,said they wouldn't be a minute. The neighbour was standing with her back to the fire said " that's OK vicar. I'm quite happy here ,warming my fanny "

And this thread is why I use Mumsnet. Than you all. I haven’t had such a good laugh in ages.

At a school meeting about my son instead of saying thankfully I said fuckfully 🤦‍♀️ mortified school probably now think I need a fully fuck instead of some half arsed one

Why would you be the one saying you’re welcome when you’ve just said thank you? Surely it’d be the cashier that would say “you’re welcome”?

@Toiletbrushdisaster Absolutely perfect! That belongs on a seaside postcard 😂

I once was a bit flustered at work as I was getting ready to go on annual leave & still had a million things to do, one of which was to call back an important client. Whilst I was waiting for him to pick up I was thinking that I really needed to change my answer machine message to say I was on leave, at this point his answer machine kicked in and I said in a loud clear voice ‘hi you are through to becas, I am currently out of the office, please contact my colleague in my absence’
He never called me back.

Someone at work asked me how I was, I started to say ‘not bad thanks’ and was thinking ‘good thanks’ and I said ‘not good thanks’

This..

@DareDevil223 - thanks that made me laugh! I feel like jazz hands is something I would do to be funny but no one would laugh

Oh god how funny op! Really makes my thanks and thank you mash up 'thanks you' pail into insignificance

Yeah, I've also definitely seen the story before so don't think it's a genuine post but it did spark lots of great stories!