So embarrassed I wanted to die.

[Katkins17]

So I bought my shopping in Tesco...as you do....said thank you to the cashier when she gave me the receipt and my brain couldn't decide whether it wanted to say 'you're welcome' or 'no problem' so instead it shouted quite loudly to the cashier and the whole queue behind me ...

'YOU'RE THE PROBLEM'

I just stood there, with us all looking uncomfortable and not knowing what to say .... plus a few sniggers behind.

What is the worse thing you've said without meaning to ?????

especially for the scottish.....if you red it again...mibee for rest of you.
furst yer high school science lab=into to test tubes,tripods nd bunsen burners. my (cut above rest of us?)referd to it s "bouncing burner" nd nobody EVER corrected her.i still laugh

When working behind the till in a clothes shop I meant to say "Who's next, please?" but instead looked straight at the attractive man at the front of the queue and blurted "Sex, please!"

In Wagamama, I wanted to order Pad Thai with prawns yet asked the waitress for Pad Thai with porn.

A new employee in my office only had one arm. I meant to say I'd show her how to disable the alarm but what came out was "disable the arm." She didn't see the funny side.

Aaaah 😂 😂

@QuietLieDown 😂😂😂😂🤓

Here’s another one of mine :
When working at a call centre at Lloyd’s bank we had to try and sell home insurance on each call. On one particular call I asked lady if she’d be interested in getting a quote for home insurance . She said ‘oh no you won’t be able to insure me because I have guests staying 1 or 2 nights’ . I was meant to say ‘oh is it a B&B’ but I said ‘oh is it a brothel’

Properly laughing at that!

A few weeks ago, partner and I were at the beach. He decided to go for a walk up the beach and I stayed sitting on a rock. We have these foam open-up flat cushion things that you use for camping etc. We call them 'comfy bum seats'. When I saw him coming back (this time on the other side of one of those shallow water channels you get on the beach, a good 20 metres or so away) I stood up and the cushion started to blow away without me realising. At which point he yelled at me "COMFY BUM". A woman passing by him said '"lovely term of endearment, dear". I was bent double cracking up with uncontrollable laughing all the way back to the car park.

My friend who had a brain tumour removed, was shopping in Tesco & sang out ‘ you’ve got the power’ like the adverts. She was really embarrassed , but I think she will have bought a smile to people faces.

Thanks for this brilliant thread! Makes me think the world is still normal 😂

What is the worse thing you've said without meaning to ?????

Hand on heart, absolutely true.

Was on holiday and my HRT, vagifem pessary was due to be ordered, did this via the app.

When I went to check it had gone through I noticed the brand had been changed from my normal vagifem to an unbranded one that I can't use.
In a panic I phoned and asked the receptionist if she could contact the Dr as the type I'd been prescribed weren't suitable and could he please give me vagifuck...

Oh the silence before we both burst out laughing seemed an age and the look on DH's face was worth buying a ticket to see.

I was a primary school teacher. I was taking an assembly. I can't remember what it was about or why I would need to share this, but I told the children that when I was at uni, my now DH had the keys to the SU shop and if I woke up in the middle of the night and wanted some chocolate I would go and knock on his door. Except what I said was that if I woke up in the night and wanted a bit I would go and wake him up. It went straight over the children's heads, but I could see all the other teachers sitting round the room struggling to keep a straight face and failing.

My moment of shame was shaking a man’s hand in a fast food shop. He was putting his hand out to take the order ticket before handing over the food.

my a is fucked on lptop

Grew up in a very small town.
My dad took me for lunch at the local cafe - I was about 3, 4. They were trying to get me to stop sucking my thumb, so Dad said something to the friend/owner who’d come over to say hello. It made me mad, but I don’t remember what it was.
I stood up on the seat of my chair and announced to the other diners, ”My daddy bites his toenails!”

Same, more or less. Very long day at work, got a cab home late in the evening, knackered. Arriving at destination, cabbie asked if this was the right spot to stop. 'Lovely, thank you', is what I meant to reply. Instead, exhausted brain made me say, 'Love you', jauntily. Swift payment and exit.

Oh god. I did similar quite recently and I still feel sick thinking about it.

I made friends with a lady who lives nearby after getting chatting to her in the street with my DS. She invited us round for tea one afternoon so off we pop. I'd heard that song 'we don't have to take our clothes off, to have a good time' on the radio earlier and it was stuck in my head.

Arrived with excited child, she answered the door, and I meant to say 'do you want us to take our shoes off.' What I ACTUALLY said was 'do you want us to take our clothes off.'

She had a good laugh about it, thank god.

Northern Ireland in the seventies and on a course for work in Belfast. Going through the barrier to go to the shops and have your bag searched
These at the time were manned by the army. Me and the girl with me were in our work uniform which was for a bank. The guy searching said something about a different bank and I quick as a flash said no I'm the one were you come (cum) first which was our slogan at the time. I was mortified and my colleague doubled up laughing.

We were in an ice cream shop in Covent Garden one day. Middle dd (aged about 16 at the time) was considering one flavour and the assistant said she could try a bit and offered her a small amount on a disposable spoon over the counter. Instead of taking the spoon, dd just instinctively opened her mouth 😂😂😂 We all cracked up and haven’t let her forget it!

Sat with my entire family (mum, dad, brother, grandma, grandpa etc), I referred to Chitty Chitty Bang Bang as ‘Chitty Chitty Gang Bang’. Complete, horrified silence from all parties 😱

Dead 😂😂😂😂😂😂

I once ordered an “anus burger” in Burger King, when what I was really after was… an Angus burger. Luckily the cashier didn’t seem to notice (probably other customers had done it, too, but I was making a conscious effort to not miss the G out and still failed 😂).
Similarly, while looking at video games on a market stall, I saw Kiss Pinball on the back shelf and asked if I could look at “Piss Kinball.” Why does my mouth betray me so??!

😀🤭🤣

This is my favourite as it’s a legitimate question. Did you style it out? 🤣

How did you respond? Please say you let slip in some way what you thought he said? 🤣

i used to work in a small co op and had to shout for staff help at tills over the tannoy, a huge queue was building so I went to shout ‘til trained staff to checkout please’ over the tannoy for the whole shop and instead shouted ‘first in here’ when I got to the tannoy 😢 everyone found it hilarious to be fair but I couldn’t work through the queue for laughing 🤣