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Original poster

My kids got baby-bell wax all over my mother in laws new sofa.

438 replies

jennan · 29/12/2023 23:00

Hey,
I'm not really sure how to use this website so apologies if wrong.
So I'm at my mother in laws house for Xmas and she had just brought herself this VERY expensive sofa for herself as a self gift.
she has just had it delivered today and its a brand new white sofa, as I have two boys (6 and 7) I told them not to go on it but my mother in law INSISTED they could go on it.
they had just finished watching TV and were getting ready for bed when my husband alerted me to the fact that someone had obviously eaten a baby-bell and than somehow sat on the wax, there is now a VERY noticeable red patch on the sofa.
I have removed the excess wax but there is still a stain.
my boys and mother in law are in bed now but I dont know how to remove it.
me and my husband dont have the money to replace this sofa and my mother in law doesn't really like me as it is.
Does anyone know how to remove cheese wax from a sofa?
Thanks.

OP posts:
Growlybear83 · 30/12/2023 17:36

Why should the mother in law supervise the children? That's the parents' job.

TimetoPour · 30/12/2023 17:38

Jesus Christ. You are all unreasonable.

Your MIL shouldn’t have undermined your rules.
You should take some responsibility as you brought the baby bells and allowed them to have them on the sofa.
Your kids need to learn not to wander around with food.
Your DH is by far the worst though and needs a massive foot up his arse for blaming it on everyone else. His kids, his mother, his responsibility too. He should be the one explaining, apologising and offered to pay for it to be cleaned/replaced.

diddl · 30/12/2023 17:38

Growlybear83 · 30/12/2023 17:36

Why should the mother in law supervise the children? That's the parents' job.

Because she gave them the snacks?

Growlybear83 · 30/12/2023 17:39

And she told them not to eat on the sofa. Of course it's the parents' responsibility to supervise their children if they can't understand basic instructions.

FuzzyPuffling · 30/12/2023 17:40

diddl · 30/12/2023 17:38

Because she gave them the snacks?

Show quote history

No she didn't. The OP brought the Babybel as MIL doesn't do savoury snacks.

Wanttobefree2 · 30/12/2023 17:40

Growlybear83 · 30/12/2023 17:36

Why should the mother in law supervise the children? That's the parents' job.

Depends if they were in the room or not. If there are 3 adults in the house, you can’t really blame 1..

OP might have bought the babybel, mil got the snacks :-)

DyslexicPoster · 30/12/2023 17:43

They are also dhs kids, dhs kids snacks, did dh have no purchase in how it happened? Another thing to remember when I become a MIL. All things that go wrong aren’t automatically the woman’s fault.

This pretty standard in law thinking. Everything bad = n doesn’t come from my side of the family. Everything good = that’s our winning genes.

id be calmly taking my son aside. Asking what happened and how he would resolve it, then talking to you both..

it’s not like did it on purpose.

but dh should have fessed up. Who gets a white fabric sofa anyway without it getting dirty springing to mind

Growlybear83 · 30/12/2023 17:44

I don't see it as the responsibility of the mother in law - it's down to the parents (both of them equally) to make sure their children don't damage someone else's property. I do also agree that it was dreadful of the husband not to wake his mother before he went out to explain about the damage.

EmptyYoghurtPot · 30/12/2023 17:44

Is your DH still out enjoying himself at the reunion? Regardless of what’s gone on, he should have your back and if you are not welcome then he should not be there. He married you, not his mother.

ThreeLocusts · 30/12/2023 17:46

You husband needs to grow a spine for interaction with his mother, and to at least make sure he hears both sides before calling you immature.

As pp said, if MIL let them onto the sofa it was for her to police them on there.

In your husband's shoes, I'd have either insisted you stay or left with the whole family.

PaperDoIIs · 30/12/2023 17:47

Growlybear83 · 30/12/2023 17:36

Why should the mother in law supervise the children? That's the parents' job.

Because she insisted that the children sit on the sofa and is the one that gave them snack. Have you even considered OP might've not even been in the room when that happened?

strawberryshortcakescat · 30/12/2023 17:49

Wow that's crazy behaviour from MIL.
How is it your fault?
Just ignore her, and tell your DH unless he apologies he needs to make his own way home on Monday.

OldTinHat · 30/12/2023 17:50

You did the right thing by leaving and taking DC with you.

Your problem is not your MIL. It's your DH for not supporting you and backing you up. They are his DC too.

Tell him he either makes his own way home right now or he can forget coming back on Monday.

You are worth far, far more than this. Do you really want a lifetime of this treatment?

momonpurpose · 30/12/2023 17:50

TimetoPour · 30/12/2023 17:38

Jesus Christ. You are all unreasonable.

Your MIL shouldn’t have undermined your rules.
You should take some responsibility as you brought the baby bells and allowed them to have them on the sofa.
Your kids need to learn not to wander around with food.
Your DH is by far the worst though and needs a massive foot up his arse for blaming it on everyone else. His kids, his mother, his responsibility too. He should be the one explaining, apologising and offered to pay for it to be cleaned/replaced.

I have to agree with this

HowToSaveAWife · 30/12/2023 17:55

We're not in Babybel-gate anymore, Toto.

"my mil is very upset about her grandsons not being there and wants to talk to me before we leave."

Very hard to do that when a) you won't be collecting your DH as he's a grown man and can quite evidently make his own stupid decisions so he can make his own way home and b) you don't answer to MIL. I want never gets.

She's only fuming now because she has to explain to other guests why grandsons aren't there, and she can't really do that without making herself sound like a total prat. Which she is.

Babybel stain is beyond annoying - but banning you from the reunion is A+ bitch behaviour.

Devonshiregal · 30/12/2023 17:56

op, I was the child in this situation. My mother tried to keep the peace and placate my father who never backed her up. It NEVER got better. He always chose her over us. You husband is a cunt. This woman is treating you like crap.

Don’t go get him. Tell him if he wants to be his mother’s protector, he can live there. She is wicked and he is an enabler. Don’t back down. If he doesn’t have your back now he never will.

Notonthestairs · 30/12/2023 17:59

HowToSaveAWife · 30/12/2023 17:55

We're not in Babybel-gate anymore, Toto.

"my mil is very upset about her grandsons not being there and wants to talk to me before we leave."

Very hard to do that when a) you won't be collecting your DH as he's a grown man and can quite evidently make his own stupid decisions so he can make his own way home and b) you don't answer to MIL. I want never gets.

She's only fuming now because she has to explain to other guests why grandsons aren't there, and she can't really do that without making herself sound like a total prat. Which she is.

Babybel stain is beyond annoying - but banning you from the reunion is A+ bitch behaviour.

Yep. This is spot on.

Fancy excluding you from a family party because of an annoying stain - and your husband going along with it.

diddl · 30/12/2023 17:59

No she didn't. The OP brought the Babybel as MIL doesn't do savoury snacks.

I must have misunderstood then.

Op put that MIL gave the snacks.

I assumed that that also meant the Babybel.

If Op/her husband gave it I can understand MIL being very pissed off that they didn't stick around to supervise or have the nous to take the wax off first.

Nicole1111 · 30/12/2023 18:05

Has your husband recently entered any competitions for the biggest bellend? That might explain his behaviour if so.

WhatdoIdoTree · 30/12/2023 18:06

Forever to be known as ‘Baby-bel gate’

landbeforegrime · 30/12/2023 18:07

Sorry OP. Your mil sounds vile and your "d"h also sounds awful. he should not have gone out until he knew his mum was aware and apologised to her. he should have left too by now in support of you. that he is taking his mother's side is bonkers. sounds like you are better off without both of them in your life. it's a sofa. your mil is an absolute idiot for buying an expensive sofa (price rarely equates to quality when it comes to sofas as they all end up needing replacing at some point). even more foolish for buying a white one. and most idiotic for not putting a throw over it before children come to visit. unless she's super rich and can afford to replace it without concern, doesn't care about stains or has good insurance the she really should have taken much better care of it. this is not your fault. it was an accident and if she hasn't got the bandwidth to cope with the normal festitudes of life that's on her.

Kittylala · 30/12/2023 18:12

You have a dh problem. He clearly expects you to deal with the problem AND take the blame.

Theunamedcat · 30/12/2023 18:14

Op bought the baby bel to the house who gave it to the children

CatMadam · 30/12/2023 18:15

I could never have a white sofa, I’d always be freaking out about it getting marked, I’m very impressed at people who manage to keep theirs clean. If your mil was so precious about the sofa she should have done what you suggested and kept the children off it. The fact that she’s excluded you from the gathering over this is horrible. If my partner sided with his mother over this I’d tell him he could move back in with her!

SlightlyJaded · 30/12/2023 18:16

Babybel incident - you and DH equally at fault.

The rest - DH at fault. MIL as well, but she didn't take vows with you. Your DH does not have your back. When push comes to shove he is out with his mates and ganging up on you with his batshit mother. Utterly despicable behaviour.

Fuck that OP.