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Original poster

My kids got baby-bell wax all over my mother in laws new sofa.

438 replies

jennan · 29/12/2023 23:00

Hey,
I'm not really sure how to use this website so apologies if wrong.
So I'm at my mother in laws house for Xmas and she had just brought herself this VERY expensive sofa for herself as a self gift.
she has just had it delivered today and its a brand new white sofa, as I have two boys (6 and 7) I told them not to go on it but my mother in law INSISTED they could go on it.
they had just finished watching TV and were getting ready for bed when my husband alerted me to the fact that someone had obviously eaten a baby-bell and than somehow sat on the wax, there is now a VERY noticeable red patch on the sofa.
I have removed the excess wax but there is still a stain.
my boys and mother in law are in bed now but I dont know how to remove it.
me and my husband dont have the money to replace this sofa and my mother in law doesn't really like me as it is.
Does anyone know how to remove cheese wax from a sofa?
Thanks.

OP posts:
Mikimoto · 30/12/2023 17:01

and the moral of the lesson is...don't give your kids crap industrially-processed "cheese"

ChateauMargaux · 30/12/2023 17:02

You should not have engaged with your MIL while your DH was not there.. this was not your fight.

Zapzep · 30/12/2023 17:02

Why not use dylon to re-dye the sofa cover's red and change the entire colour scheme of the room, to create a baby bell scheme.

diddl · 30/12/2023 17:04

I was greeted with a VERY angry mil telling me of for bringing baby bells and saying I should have just brought crips or biscuits

Well like her saying that they could sit on the sofa didn't mean that they had to, you bringing Babybel didn't mean that she had to give them it.

Original poster
jennan · 30/12/2023 17:04

Tiedtoatwat · 30/12/2023 16:56

Why were you meeting your sister at your MIL's?

Sister in law.

OP posts:
Growlybear83 · 30/12/2023 17:07

Goodbar31 - yes the mother in law brought the snacks in, but she also said that the children were not to eat them on the sofa. Children of 6 and 7 should be able to understand a very basic instruction like that, and it is the responsibility of their parents to ensure that they do what they've been told in these circumstances. However, I do agree with a couple of other people who have suggested that this whole thing is another typical Mumsnet fabrication.

ohdamnitjanet · 30/12/2023 17:08

WhereYouLeftIt · 30/12/2023 16:49

"My MIL told me the argument that I was no longer invited to the reunion but my husband and sons were still invited but I wasn't???? "
What was her expectation of how this would work? Were you supposed to still be there, but hiding in your room wearing sackcloth and ashes? Or did she envisage you skulking home with your tail between your legs, but somehow leaving the car there for your husband to get himself and the boys home? How was that supposed to work?

"I told her that if I was not going then neither were my boys, my MIL got quite pissy saying that it would be unfair to my nephews as they were looking forward to seeing my sons."
Strikes me as desperate scrabbling on her part, that her having a go at you would have Consequences Visible To Other Family Members. Now she'll have to explain to them why you and the boys have left. That'll be fun.

"My DH went out quite early to meet some of his childhood friends as he grew up here and because of that he missed our argument."
How - convenient for him. After all, there was no way his mum wasn't going to notice, so he made sure to absent himself and leave you in her firing line. Cowardly, and cruel. He'd be getting both barrels from me for that alone.

"I've just got home with my boys and I've just received a text from my dh telling me that his mum explained the whole situation to him and that me not letting the boys go was very immature."
My only response would be 'And you're sure your mother gave you an unbiased explanation to cover how she managed to drive your wife away?'

"I have to pick him up on Monday and apparently, my mil is very upset about her grandsons not being there and wants to talk to me before we leave."
He can get public transport, I would NOT be picking him up. Or, the mummy's boy can stay with his mummy. And - she "wants to talk to me before we leave"? Presumably to give you another scolding? Well, the pair of them could fuck right off if they expected me to stand there and take that.

"My mil has never liked me, she straight up refused to come to me and my husbands wedding ..."
I'd be reminding him of that.

It's high time your husband prioritised his wife being upset by his mother, over his mother upsetting herself.

All of this, the husband is cowardly dick. Let him pay for the fucking sofa.
Pretty good result though, as OP and the boys need never see that batshit woman again.

AnotherEmma · 30/12/2023 17:09

jennan · 30/12/2023 16:12

This is going to be long 😬.
We managed to get all of the wax of the sofa but there was still a red stain.
Mil had woke up before us and noticed the stain so I was greeted with a VERY angry mil telling me of for bringing baby bells and saying I should have just brought crips or biscuits (I brought my own snacks for the boys as she mainly has ingredients with the exception of some biscuits and chocolates but I didn't just want them eating biscuits and sweet stuff the whole time)
I offered to pay for a cleaner or a new cover but she just got even more annoyed saying that it was a massive inconvenience for her and that if I were to order a new cover it wouldn't come quickly enough for this evening (Later this evening my sister and brother in law were coming with there partners and children for a mini-reunion as we didn't get to see them on Christmas as they were both busy.)
My MIL told me the argument that I was no longer invited to the reunion but my husband and sons were still invited but I wasn't????
I told her that if I was not going then neither were my boys, my MIL got quite pissy saying that it would be unfair to my nephews as they were looking forward to seeing my sons.
My DH went out quite early to meet some of his childhood friends as he grew up here and because of that he missed our argument.
I've just got home with my boys and I've just received a text from my dh telling me that his mum explained the whole situation to him and that me not letting the boys go was very immature.
I have to pick him up on Monday and apparently, my mil is very upset about her grandsons not being there and wants to talk to me before we leave.
Was I in the wrong?

Show quote history

Of course you weren't in the wrong.
And you now have a DH problem.

DuchessPotato · 30/12/2023 17:09

Nahhh

Notmetoo · 30/12/2023 17:10

Your mother in law sounds awful. If she is so precious about her sofa then she should cover it when she has children visiting.
She is also terrible blaming you. Why isn't any of it her son's fault?

Livinginanotherworld · 30/12/2023 17:10

Sounds like a complete nightmare, this is why I have a house rule that any food (even snacks) for kids are eaten sitting at the kitchen table or dining room table. No exceptions ever. My own kids when they were little and now my grandchildren.

AnotherEmma · 30/12/2023 17:12

DecayedStrumpet · 30/12/2023 16:39

If you overrule a DC's parents then the consequences are on you I'm afraid.

Happy to enforce 'no DC on the sofa' and 'no snacks in the living room'.

If you want to make that too complex for young DC with "you can get on the sofa if you take your shoes off, and don't bounce on it, and don't sit on the arms, and you can have snacks if you stand beside the sofa and put the packaging in the bin and wash your hands afterwards and wipe your mouth and check your clothes for stray pieces and, and, and..." then you're policing that yourself.

This.

Santaisscouringindeedfornewjob · 30/12/2023 17:13

And so there will be more dc added to the sofa soon then?

JubileeJumps · 30/12/2023 17:14

This reply has been deleted

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AngelaAnacondaHeyHello · 30/12/2023 17:15

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Must be all the Christmas sherry 😆

PaperDoIIs · 30/12/2023 17:15

@jennan I'd text him.

"Your mother was very angry over the sofa. She uninvited me from the gathering and said only you and the children can attend. Maybe if you would've been there , this wouldn't have escalated so much. Take this time apart to think about your mum's reaction and how quickly she cut me off. If you still think I was unfair and she was in the right, don't bother coming back Monday."

Make sure he knows exactly what happened, that it's totally unacceptable and that his reaction puts him in the wrong as well.

Sureaseggs44 · 30/12/2023 17:16

I bet it will come out eventually but it’s best to pay to have it done by a professional. And for the evening it could have been covered by a cushion . All you can do is apologise and offer to have it cleaned . The rest is her problem . She is right to be upset , but wrong to turn it into a massive family row .

FuzzyPuffling · 30/12/2023 17:16

goingtohellinahandcart · 30/12/2023 16:56

But it was the Mil who got the snacks out, not the OP

The OP brought her own Babybel as MIL doesn't do savoury snacks.

BippityBopper · 30/12/2023 17:22

Is it confirmed the snacks were eaten on the sofa? Have the kids been asked what happened? Not to say they will tell the gospel truth.

But if they were eating at a small table near the sofa, I can absolutely see how a wrapper could end up on the sofa without having eaten them on the actual sofa.

Also, who was in the room when the snacks were eaten? Why is responsibility solely being put on OP?

Honeychickpea · 30/12/2023 17:22

SecondUsername4me · 29/12/2023 23:04

Feign ignorance?

"Ooh, yes I can see a sort of red hue there. Was it there when it was delivered?"

For all you know MIL at a babybel on there.

That certainly won't make OP's relationship with her mother in law any better. Nobody likes being treated like a fool.

YRGAM · 30/12/2023 17:29

Truly outrageous behaviour from MIL and especially DH. Her solely blaming you is misogynistic and unfair, and your husband's refusal to support you would (if I were in your place) have him moving in with his mother until further notice, or until he learns how to back up his wife

Motherofchickenslol · 30/12/2023 17:30

Did your husband not ask for your side of the argument?
I think if he was my husband I’d be telling him to stay there!

Deathraystare · 30/12/2023 17:31

No he can get public transport. Let the boys go/stay there too. Then when another mess occurs your ball-less sack of shit of a husband has to deal with it. Meanwhile you are at home enjoying yourself!

zeibesaffron · 30/12/2023 17:31

@Littlegoth I am with you - I would die on this hill too- your DH is a wanker, how dare he not back you up! There were 2 parents in the house this is not just down to you!

He should have woken his DM up and told her before he went out!! What a spineless, twat of a mummys boy!

He has hung you right out to dry here!! Therefore lets see how he likes living their permanently 👍

Wanttobefree2 · 30/12/2023 17:35

Growlybear83 · 30/12/2023 16:38

Someone who not unreasonably wants to buy themselves a lovely new piece of furniture and expects two adults to supervise their children properly and not ignore her instructions to not let them eat on the sofa! If a grandparent was looking after their grandchildren on a regular basis then there may be a basis for running that they should consider covering their sofa, but it doesn't sound as though this is the case. Why the hell should she have needed to even consider having to cover her new sofa, on the day it arrived, when the children's parents should have been supervising them and preventing them from sitting on a lump of red wax?

Show quote history

Isn’t MIL capable of supervising kids too..