Gin and a moat

[paxillin]

Not by one of the Queens this time... But we can drink here.

This happens to me all the time Pax - but it's that Baylis and Harding crap. I hate the bloody stuff, and people keep buying it for me. Local charities are practically at the point of refusing to accept any more from me for their raffles etc. as I'm always trying to palm it off in the innocent.

I did wonder if I should change my deodorant, but a quick sniff of my armpits suggested I wasn't too bad.

Of course, nostrils full of cremated harpy ash and leg fish plop may not give a reliable indicator . . .

Sounds as though it could be useful as the moat water, ah, matures.

Wonder if detox=de-fish?

Mind you, I am having 3 showers a day at the moment, if I make them baths I'll use up a bucket of bath salts in no time, detox or otherwise. I can't give them to charity, I politely opened and sniffed them, doh.

Do bath salts come in bottles? I hope you didn't put it in the moat, I know gin tastes like soap but trust me it can get worse.

No I didn't. Solubility isn't great, having sat on sharp detox crystals in the bath I wonder if it's meant to be arse exfoliant. It would spoil the gin, might break a tooth.

Oh, maybe they'd come in useful when I'm shedding?

Depends how tough your new hide is. That stuff is hardcore.

The new hide is delicate for a couple of days, but there are always those rough bits round the ankles where the old one hasn't peeled neatly.

Snakes don't have that problem, smug legless bastards.

No the wonder they're always smiling to themselves. All they have to do is peel themselves like a stocking. (Quite provocative really . . .)

Does it split lengthwise and they pop out like a sausage cooked too fast or does it open at the top and they just slip out like an uncooked sausage squeezed out of its peel?

It starts peeling around their fanged, venomous mouths Pax, and they rub on stones or twigs to get it properly started and then it shuffles off, a bit like a mortal coil . . .

It's fascinating (though lengthy) to watch.

I can imagine the "aah, much better" feeling having watched some fascinating YouTube videos now .

Yes - I the old dry skin itches something chronic.

My adopted dragon son, the Airborne Reptile formerly known as Flappy (he is Going Through A Phase and only answers to "Brett" these days) used to sit scratching like buggery when he was shedding, and used all of my Strawberries and Cream Body Butter.

the old dry skin itches something chronic

I know the feeling from RL and I can't shed .

I've seen the footner threads, they suggest otherwise.

I'd need a scuba-dive-suit style whole body footner, not some silly socks.

How much dry skin do you have? should get a body brush and brush yourself like a pony.

Been thinking about a tree trunk with rough bark to rub against.

But then who will clean the tree? Surely happy can invent some kind of product for this.

We'll burn it and get a new one annually. I know we are on MN and not changing your sheets and towels hourly is the sign of a slattern, but this is Mortificado.

I don't even remember the last time we had sheets, that makes us ahead of the game I'm sure.

Surely happy can invent some kind of product for this

Oh that's BRILLIANT idea, that is!

After all, I don't have anything else to do, do I? It's not as though I have to spend any time breeding Legfish, or raising orphan dragons because people complained when I et the eggs , or immolating Harpies, or hatching Phoenixes, or creating genetically modified ratless molerats, or inventing new 210% proof cocktails for the Princess's parties or the Queen's afternoon piss-ups teas, or cleaning the bleeding moat!

Oh no - let Happy invent something! As long as we don't have to take responsibility for cleaning our own skin-soiled trees, then we don't care etc etc etc

There, there. I got you a chemistry set, you can make you own playdoh, Happy.

It's better we burn the tree. Playdoh kit is safe, no fire, no biohazards and stains don't matter since we have no sheets in this muddy field. And e won't be invaded by horrid creatures again. I still need a stiff one whenever I remember the deplopping.