Gin and a moat

[paxillin]

Not by one of the Queens this time... But we can drink here.

I think, happy, the idea was perhaps that you'd like to have a go at inventing something so you could sell it. You seem to have given up on that poping job, can't flog indulgences any more can you?

Selling inventions is good. With my scientist hat on I'd argue controlling them is equally important. We had creatures with unintended limbs! Nowhere near enough gin round here though.

Do scientists wear hats? One of these maybe?

We'd better set up the Mortificado Ethics Committee and also an IP department. You can do the clever writey bits, my forte is enforcement tbh.

Yes, we should have ethics committees for Happy's ambitious projects. Do we have 5 or 6 sober Mortificadans of good character to populate this committee?

Um....I think I'm the only reliably sober sentient Mortificadan, but I'm big.

You'd torch the paperwork, wouldn't you?

I think, happy, the idea was perhaps that you'd like to have a go at inventing something so you could sell it

Oh.

That's different.

WOW! There's weapons-grade plutonium in here! Thank you Pax - you're the best friend EVER.

Is that depleted uranium? Oh WOW!!!

No! The fiery devastation in Mortificado 1 was caused by an interloper, a right troublemaking tool.

I would guard and enforce sensible regulations.

Is that hat for me, Pax

I would guard and enforce sensible regulations.

I was about to say "Pleeeeeeeease don't do that!", then I read it properly and realised that there is no way anyone in Mortificado could draft a sensible regulation.

I may have a solution to that. On my airborne travels, I've come across an organisation which has lots of experts, seems to make some pretty sensible regs for sciency stuff - you'll have to comply with those anyway if you want to export, so wouldn't it make sense to just use theirs?

wouldn't it make sense to just use theirs?

Probably - but this is me you are talking to, and sense rarely enters the equation.

While you're here, can you just give me a light for my bunsen burner, please?

We drink too much to comply with those regulations. Ours must be more, erm, streamlined: "Your inventions shall not kill and maim, must not breed freely. If they enter the moat, they must be edible. Don't crap into the gin."

Happy, Plasticine, not uranium please.

Oh Nooooooooooo!

Plasticine is RUBBISH!

Did someone call?

it's the queen. I got a job.

Oh good. Though I think technically that's my job, dragons are extremely good at enforcing compliance. What we need is the regs with which Happy everyone must comply to be drafted.

That's enforcement you're thinking of, that's where we go when compliance isn't forthcoming. But I suppose we do need regulations before anyone can comply with them.

1. All dragons must report to the Compliance Officer.
2. Don't make things wot have legs. Exceptions may be made for when we need an heir or something.

1. All ethanol must be un-methylated. People in Mortificado WILL drink anything.
2. Executive and legislative powers must be separate, the Monarch therefore cannot be executive.

Excuse me, I think you'll find that's MY job. I'm getting paid and everything. I will write #3 down though. I don't know what it means but it sounds like it makes sense.
#4 can hop it, I'll execute what I like.

Round here, round here. Pitchforks at the ready. Get the dragons to light your torches. You get a drink at the moat. Off with her head!

Dunno about 'executive' ( I've only encountered the word on long distance buses and small newbuild homes ) but I'm reminded that our executioner has gone AWOL

1. No revolutions. They don't comply with health and safety protocol.

Can't argue with that.

The plebs are well trained at wielding pitchforks. The pitchforks are not flammable. Nothing in Mortificado is flammable, because of the frequent fires here. Except the booze of course.