It's NOT a dog!
It's a COYOTE - an entirely different animal altogether. For instance, you can house train a dog, and teach it not to kill people, whereas with a coyote. . .
. . . Oh - possibly not the best differences to highlight. Did I mention that coyotes have pretty yellow eyes.
Anyway - I hadn't realised that that was you walking round like a large space hopper covered with coconut matting, Queen - I assumed that the Princess was shagging Bigfoot.
Yes - we do indeed have a washing machine. It is useable despite the lack power sockets in Mortificado, because it is entirely Harpy-powered. I have to admit that it is a bit noisier than I would like, but it works. I invented in when I was trying to find an ecologically appropriate way to deal with the Princess's various half-mythical progeny.
There is also a Behemoth-microwave, if you want a nice hot gin drink, but sadly the Kraken-jacuzzi has so far proved fatal difficult to calibrate effectively.
By the way, your Maj, on behalf of all Mortificado, can I thank you for NOT epilating. The human eyeball can only cope with so much horror glory.