Gin and a moat

[paxillin]

Not by one of the Queens this time... But we can drink here.

*label, not table

That explains why it tastes a bit papery.

Did it work?

I think it's gotten resistant. Its just sort of... rocking.

Uh-oh . . . . .

That's always a danger sign with tumbleweed . . .

What else was in your cocktail? The gin on its own could melt a giant redwood probably kill a small piece of vegetation, although it isn't dangerous to human life, obviously, hahahahaha .

Was there anything in there that could have diluted it? Rat-wee prosecco, for instance?

Or Mortificadan Real Ale, which is largely gas and chemicals, with the odd hop and bit of ratshit just so the MortificadoBrewer (where is she, anyway) doesn't contravene the Dragon's newly-drawn-up legislation.

Hang on! The Princess hasn't been peeing on those tumbleweeds, has she? They could have built up an immunity to just about ANYTHING if they've had to survive her toxic alkie piss over the years.

I know for a fact that her need to empty her bladder every five minutes has led to a race of super-nettle which is threatening to destroy the Chelsea Flower Show.

Well that sounds unpleasant. Does it at least make a delightful tea?

Those things you mentioned aren't really cocktails, that's just what happens at the end of the night when you've resorted to stealing drinks by decanting them into the same glass. And since no one was here from which to steal drinks, pretty sure that didn't happen. I may have added a bit of plant fertiliser but that would hardly be the problem, tumbleweeds are dead after all.

Does it look like it's going to explode to you?

Who would decant someone else's drink into their own glass in Mortificado?! God knows what solvent you guys are drinking!

I've seen you do it. Though not surprised you don't remember if you were stealing happy's drink.

I've seen you do it. Though not surprised you don't remember if you were stealing happy's drink.

Was that the night I grew a second head and had to have it removed? That WAS bad.

Does it at least make a delightful tea?

Sadly not. The lack of opposable thumbs means it has problem with the kettle.

Does it look like it's going to explode to you?

Er . . . . YES!

Oh - hello vicar. More tea?

Pity you got the wrong one taken off Pax.

I liked it.

Actually that was just a pineapple that got caught on your jumper. We had to pin you down to remove it so we could use it in the cocktails.

Don't remember any of that. Maybe I should go back to bed. Too early for one of Schadenfreude's special brews. Do you think they'd be prepared to pause the tennis for me? Anyone got a phone number for Wimbledon so we could ask?

But that would just make it go on longer. I want to find out who the new doctor is.

Looks like it'll finish in 20 minutes

Are they announcing after the match or after the programme? What will they do if it finishes at 3:30? BBC 1 was going to broadcast Wimbledon until 6:30, will we have 3 hours of Boris Becker speaking? I might need one of Schadenfreude's brews after all!

I have absolutely no idea. I hate tennis but I don't want to miss the announcement if I haven't already. When should I put it on?

Match is over.

There's a new doctor?

Do you think he'd have a look at my foot?

Only if it's at risk of destroying earth, I'd imagine. Is it?

He can pop ahead to 2018 and tell you how it'll heal.

Good point, queen. How big is the foot?

did you see it?

Foot? No, I fortunately missed it. Reveal of 13? Yes.