I don't have big piles.

[QueenMortifauxcado]

Which is mightily impressive for sitting on a throne all day and existing primarily on carbs (and the odd avocado), isn't it?

Anyone else got an arse of steel?

And I definitely don't have a leaky foof myself

Wait, you're not the real Queen! I withdraw my confession. It was the wine. It was a lie.

Here, have some

I live on a diet of Toblerone and confitted dragon eggs. I am also pile free.

(Former PapalYoungPretenderofMortificado, now PopeinExileKnownAs 2Kids. Minor joinery work undertaken, dogs walked, shoes soled while-U-wait. Competitive rates.)

Princess

HA!

Oi! I'm still here and the current occupant of the throne.

Pile free I might add. Delicate white perfect arse.

all round!

Wait, it doesn't cause piles does it? Wouldn't want to ruin my reputation.

Jane, that's more information than I ever needed to know about my daughter in law.

Can dragons get piles?

AS IF YOU ACTUALLY STARTED THIS!!!

Weren't you previously a doctor, PrimeMinister?

(shhh you're ruining the facade, your steel-arsed queenlyness! Have some and pretend you're a peasant.)

Well Faux, it's your thread so I'll put up and shut up

Cheers!

I've never started a thread before your queenpeasantlyness, does this give me some kind of power?

Well I'm certainly more attracted to you.

Shit did I say that out loud?

Le plus ca change . . .

Your foof is leaking again Princess. Not quite the kind of power I was after.

Can I have some please?

Anyone have any amulets?

What the actual fuck are piles?

God you are all sooooooo embarrassing.

I hate you

Piles are the future kid. Along with misery and pointlessness. Nobody loves you. Life is pointless.

Who the fuck are you? unloved? Another bastard child from the foof of princess?

I'm no one. I'm pointless.

Someone give that dragon an amulet, he's bringing down my thread / don't-have-piles party

to QueenMortificado

I'm childlishly delighted that you had the last post on the main thread.
It has a beautiful perfect symetry to it.