I don't have big piles.

[QueenMortifauxcado]

Which is mightily impressive for sitting on a throne all day and existing primarily on carbs (and the odd avocado), isn't it?

Anyone else got an arse of steel?

Someone call??

What in my name is that fucking wailing???
What have you Bloody Mortificados done now?

Don't think I didn't spot the four horseman either! I had words, there'll be no apocalypse on my watch.

Would you like to try a scone?

They're only a bit burnt on top.

I'm an atheist. Will God disappear if I stare hard enough? What's she made from?

I'm an atheist too, but magical creatures can see mythical ones. And even offer them scones.

Psychedelic drugs then. What with dragons being about as real as Elf on the Shelf.

Scones are real.

Did someone say drugs?

No. There are scones.

Prince! ARE YOU MY BROTHER?!!!!1

... why are you dressed like a peasant? Ew

Peasants are lovely. I'm fluent in peasant and have gone native.

And yes, you dragons aren't real. Peasants say you used to be dinosaurs and are now kaput. As for Spurious, my sis, I invite you to turn PrincessChardonnay and join us peasants. We have less money, but more fun.

But you're a PRINCE, with munny and clothes and servants probably. Why on earth would you dress like a peasant? I bet they don't even have iPhones!!!!!!!! is it drugs?

By fun I presume you mean drugs.

#realprincess #bestdayever #blessed

We do have drugs, too. We don't have to behave though, no name to protect. Not that you ever did, dsis. But yeah, peasants are great. Smelly, but fun. Did God disappear when I said she's not real? Dragons went to bed, too. Pjs, brush teeth, story, bed like a good reptile.

Do I get a tiara? Do you have cute friends? I have this boyfriend back home but he's soooo broody, sleeps all day and keeps stealing my body glitter Was that really God, as in OMGod?

#ROYALLYpartyingwinkwink

Not sure whether to have an existential crisis or a nice cup of tea at this point. hm, aaahhh thats better.

Hmmmmm ... Contender for affection .... or free babysitting?

Hi sis! Come on up to my tower! (Not a euphemism).

I can tell we're going to get along like a hellmouth on fire.

Two sisters? One royal, one street?

CAKE! CAFFEINE! CAKE! CAFFEINE!

I CAN FEEL THE COLOURS

EVERYTHING IS FAST

CAKE! CAFFEINE!

Here brother, a companion for your journey! Don't wake him though! Ah ha ha ha

I'll give it to cook for dinner.

Ooh. Ask her if she'd like some hippogriff too.

Still waiting on that babysitting Sis?

And hands up who gave the dragon the bright idea of mixing unlimited caffeine and sugar? We KNOW he tests everything.

HAHAHA good one sis! Can I borrow this dress?!!