I don't have big piles.

[QueenMortifauxcado]

Which is mightily impressive for sitting on a throne all day and existing primarily on carbs (and the odd avocado), isn't it?

Anyone else got an arse of steel?

For gods sake, give the harpy to me. I'll take him for a fast gallop to the very edge of the forest...

I'm .... suddenly feeling very sad I didn't have a mum. Here 2kids, please put this lovely shiny coin into little Flappy's account towards his amulet.

It's made from a very pretty new plastic! I got it after delivering the Queen's brew. Which Princess promptly stole, by the way ma'am. She appears to be smuggling a shrieking form of gremlin around the castle?

BrewerDragon

Thank you - that is so kind. Flappy is thrilled! He is sending you a creme brûlée (the brûlée bit is all his own work - #so proud).

He is a very diligent and hardworking little fellow, very good-natured and thrilled with plastic Munnies - he has put it into his Batty Bank.

Can I just say, that you dragons have such a reputation for being a Not Very Nice Species, but all of the ones on this thread have been wonderful and very supportive of Flappy, as well as showing only kindness to all, even that frigging dear little harpy.

TeenageCentaurMortificado - if you can strangle the little bugger soothe the little darling's distress, I think we would all be eternally grateful to you. There's a packet of polosandsome hoof oil in it for you.

For the sake of clarity, I, the piss artist formerly know as 2kids have changed ny username (yet again) so that people not only know that I have a dragon on my side, but also that I am in a position to do anything theological as well as offering a take-away fajita service.

I do, of course, have to charge a small fee.

Ooh fajitas. Do you deliver to the roof? Only I can't stand all the screeching Where's that French Japanese rock band? Maybe they can drown it out.

I bet you regret those confitted eggs now you've experienced what delightful creatures dragons can be. Do you have to charge yourself a fee for indulgences (the catholic type, not toblerone)?

Nobody ... move ... a muscle ...

...

...

I've either gone deaf or it's sleeping.

If ANYONE makes a sound ... I will strangle them with my bare foof!

Evening team!

I'm watching old reruns of ER and eating Ferrero Rocher in bed.

Would anyone like to join her lady ship in the tower?

WHO TURNED A TV ON? WHY???

ARRRRRGGGHHHHHHHH

Executioner, could you be a dear and pop to my apartment at some point?

Give the Ferrero Rocher tray to the ickle harpy! Tbh if you don't she'll nick it anyway, stealing food is their major talent.

Right cock - 'ow many taters yer want? Got some luverly cabbages and carrots today - full of goodness for your 'ighnesses

LadyJane - nah, I had a postroph once but it went down like a cup of cold sick darlin'

Princess I do deliver to the roof - 10% extra service charge if I am attacked by a harpy during delivery (I would send Flappy but he's browsing the Argos catalogue for amulets and I hate to drag him away from his Laminated Book of Dreams).

Dragon I regretted those confitted eggs almost as soon as I had eaten them - but did you try one? Who would have thought that iridescent blue food would taste so good!? Repeated o me a bit bu that could have been the 3 pints of olive oil.

I used the "whites"* for meringue - very nice indeed. Light as a feather and - . . . . Oh . . . . have just realised I am talking about your unborn young . . .

My I extend my deepest condolences on your very sad loss.**

*More a sort of purple-green

** If it helps - remember who their mother is. What if they'd taken after the maternal side of the family? Would you really want their scaley foods shooting out . . . just about anything?

Princess

I have something that might help that little sod your darling infant to sleep. ()

I'm also not one to complain about the noise of screeching crying babies, but if I can hear the little sh*t her in Zurich, your nearer neighbours might be finding her a tad trying.

You've not got this delivery business nailed have you? That was my order. I shan't risk the harpy charge though.

Have you considered, FlappysMammy that you're babying the poor boy? I daresay that your affections are in fact thinly veiled attempts to keep him firmly in the nest

Unlike the other thread, this thread has lost its thread.

It has no thread!

There was a plot, excitement, dragons, inquisitions, impersonations and executions.

This is just the rump end of a rabble. And a greengrocer.

Ooops - apologies QueenMortifauxcado.

SO - did you get the Banana Sandwiches? They went somewhere. If you did, please accept them with my compliments. Under the circumstances, I will . . I will waive . . . my . . . () small fee () . . in the interests of customer relations.

It's the Gnomes here in Zurich. They cock everything up. I'm going to take Flappy into the family business as soon as his amulet arrives. At the moment he is a little small to carry more than one fajita at a time, but the amulet stimulates growth and maturity, so should aid his rapid enormousness.

Are you still here LadyJane.

Shouldn't your head have come off two days ago?

Where's the QueenExecutionerMortificado and her emerald encrusted second -best axe?

And your point, Jane?!

Rump

But at least time I'm not ouch! trying to kill the children this time?

Yes I'm still here. I'm in post officially until 3 December. Maybe longer - who knows?

3rd DECEMBER

This is going to be a long three days . . .