How does one convince a lady?

[user1466055892]

Yes I'm a male on Mumsnet(LOL)... So I choice this particular Forum/ site thingy due to the shear volume of female users and, I need advice.

Basically we(fiancée and me) currently live in London (Marlybone) in a 3 bedroom cramped flat with no children (yet) :P and, to be quite frank I hate it here, it's huge and small all at the same time. I feel like moving and, in particular I have my sights set on Birmingham as I recently went there to visit a friend and I felt 'at home'.
Henceforth I want a change but my fiancée doesn't.

My question is to all of you women how would you be persuaded to move to an unknown location?

Another question, What are the best areas to live in? On a side note I've read via Mummyloos' thread what places are good but I want it too be more specific and, what I mean by this is postcode specific considering the following;

1. Good community all ethnicity's are welcome.
2. Safe
3. Good facilities e.g tennis court, swimming pools and nature reserve parks(like Richmond) or any nice park for a good stroll.
4. Big garden for barbecues and parties
5. We have a budget of about 1-1.2mil I'm looking for around a 5 bed so when friends or family come they can stay for the weekend.
6. Family friendly.
7. Excellent Night life (prob one of the highest priority on the list)
8. relatively close to amenities like doctors and dentists.

Thats all I can think of right now( seems a little bit since I had a list of stuff. Weird.)

Another thing would be if I posted links if it's allowed could you guys give your opinions? Highly appreciate it.

I decided to post my own thread as I did not want to steal the other users

She doesn't want to live in Birmingham. You can't make her. Find a compromise

Omg! So many Grammatical errors!!!

Yeah she won't have any of it. If I even start to talk about it she'll just change the topic?

I suspect you need to think about moving out closer to London rather than a complete change.

I know, but there's no point in packing and, going through that hassle and, moving to 2 miles away. Renders the change/ move useless doesn't it?

My question is to all of you women how would you be persuaded to move to an unknown location?

I wouldn't.

You'll never manage to convince any lady to move to Birmingham.

Especially based on nothing more than a "feeling" you had.

You need to talk to her about it properly. You can't just decide to move her to Birmingham, what about jobs, friends, family etc?

There is a massive difference between living in Marylebone and moving a couple of miles out to the suburbs and having a house/garden etc.

Have you asked her what she wants?

I know, but there's no point in packing and, going through that hassle and, moving to 2 miles away. Renders the change/ move useless doesn't it?

Er... no. You can move 2 miles and still be very close to London.

TBH, you are beginning to sound very controlling. How about you move to Birmingham without her?

Take her to a balti house. A proper one with menus under glass on the table, no cutlery, BYO Bankses and sharing naans three foot square. I'm a dyed in the wool Londoner but that would definitely tempt me to move to Birmingham.

More seriously, do you both have portable jobs that can be done in any moderate sized city? Would you be happy moving out to a nice commuter town in Hertfordshire/Essex?

London to Birmingham, sorry no chance!
Just hope your lady is more flexible than moi, as this idea has given me the horrors.....

You can't.

However, if my DH was raving about a specific location and how we should live there I'd agree to a visit to check it out. That's all you can do.

I'd also suggest you should keep an open mind, she might be prepared to move, but not fancy Birmingham.

When DH and I first got together we lived in central London, we now live elsewhere, but it's been a gradual process, at first just moving 'out' to Clapham felt like a move to the sticks.

Take her to a balti house

That would keep me firmly rooted in London!

You're assuming that what persuades one woman will persuade any woman.

It won't. We're all different people.

We don't know your fiancée, we don't know what makes her tick, what her priorities are, why she wants to stay in London. Have you asked her that question?

She's said no but you're still asking Mumsnet for the best areas and still planning ahead for a move to Birmingham.

It's as if you're making a major decision without her, and wanting to go ahead anyway. She doesn't want to. It sounds like it's the flat that's the problem, not London.

Whatever you do don't show her new street station

What are her reasons for not wanting to move?

Woman, by the way, not lady.

Bonkers thread. Absolutely bonkers. And that's from a lady who has moved from henley-on-thames to Birmingham. I made my own mind up.

Buy her a spa day - it's well known that this is all we laydees care about.

Why should she move if she doesn't want to, so that you can be happier?

Why does your happiness trump hers?

If children are really on the cards taking her away form where she is comfortable is an incredibly bad idea and a great recipe for PND.

You can get five bedrooms for £1m a lot closer to London than Birmingham!

Moving is not about the distance, it's about the changes you want to make. You've identified house size and various other things. What does she

Wasn't the yoni guy from Birmingham? Maybe get him on the line.

..want from where she lives?

Buy her a spa day - it's well known that this is all we laydees care about.

Many a true word spoke in jest....

Not my fault you've got no tastebuds Soup. Or possibly I've had mine irretrievably wasted by exposure to Birmingham curries. London is the greatest city on God's earth but they cannot cook a proper curry like Midlanders.

Whilst obviously the OP is unreasonable to dislike London, some strange people do hate living here, and it's not unreasonable for him to think that a move to a slightly smaller city might be a good compromise. But a move to the commuter belt might be an acceptable alternative.