This is a VERY sensitive subject, I know, but I am curious to know just how big a problem this is

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

How many people on here have been assaulted/raped and have either reported or not reported it?

I found out that the conviction rate rapes was just 6% . 6% of reported rapes. There are many many many more that go unreported. I want to know roughly what kind of figure we are looking at. Please change your name if need be, but do post.....

I'll start..

Me - unreported.

Haven't read whole thread, but important subject i feel, for obvious reasons. Me- unreported.

Absolutley. the act may have not been wanted but the outcome most certainly was.
DD hears that i love her each and every day but i have read of people growing up with the knowledge of being the result of rape and it has an affect on them.

i know its probably my mind working over time but i think about it at times.

it is not possible to protect our children from all the terrible things that can happen - but there is a world of wonderful things happening to people all the time as well we all experience joy as well as pain (in childbirth both at the sametime!). We are made up of all our experiences not just characterised by one

reading all of these posts i immediately went back to being a 10 year old out for a family trip to blackpool. we were in a shop on the sea front when a man stood behind me and started feeling my bum.i just froze, didnt say anything to anyone else..i didnt know what to do and when he stopped i just turned and watched him walk out of the shop. he was an older man, looked perfectly normal ....never told anyone o that day, i was with my parents and my brother and sister.
only my dh knows about it.
still get extremely nervous is anyone stands to closely behind me and definately dont like anyone touching my bum...
that was 25 years ago.

I got touched up on a bus nce when I was about 16/17. Never told a sole, ran as fast as I could when i got off the bus as he got off when i did and have never mentioned it to anyone.

yep, been nearly raped, unreported, boyfireind said it was my fault (wasn't boyf who did it, was 18)

raped, unreported, 23. Just had hideous time describng to dh.

no thank god

I too am at all of this, i can't believe how common it it and how awful for all of you

This is horrifying. I am so very sorry for everyone who has been attacked. Feeling very, very grateful that I've been spared your terrible experiences.

Molesworth, that's terrible.

www - do you want to talk about it?

I saw Roger Graef's documentary about Thames Valley police, A Question of Rape, which led to changes in the law so the police were actually supposed to take it seriously. I thought things had improved in the past 25 years.

me - unreported as i had to go to school with him and knew i wouldn't be believed. was easier to pretend it didn't happen

suburbanjellybrain has absolutely hit the nail on the head. Fattiemumma, your daughter had nothing to do with her own conception and she, the person inside her, is not the result of it. That person is a loved, wanted and cared for child. I bet you don't look at her and think 'that's the result of....' and I bet you never have. No one else does or will either. I think that as long as she is loved and cared for she would have little reason to be affected by the mode of her conception. What a perfect silver lining!

Domestic violence has had a huge overhaul. Racism, gun crime etc.

It takes a huge public outcry, and support to get it changed.

Until society can come together and support changes as a whole, then I cant see it happening. For as long as myths are perpetuated, and people think that some women "ask for it" for whatever reason, or "cry rape" (so rare, I might add). There is too much of a divide to warrant action. Too risky for establishment.....

Me unreported.

Do people really still think that women 'ask for it'? I'm appalled.

I can't belive that I have picked tonight to start a thread dealing with my own abise with this thread going on. I knew I wasn't alone but I didn't expect to see this many 'examples'.

For the record

Me abused as a child by my father (aged approx 4-8 and again at 16) - reported by a friend. I denied most of it - only told police about 1 incident & only cos I wasn't in a position where I could deny everything. I didn't want my mum to be angry with me for taking her husband away . Wish I had told them everything, thought about it some years later but convinced myself that it was too late & these things had to be reported within a certain timeframe.

Cassoulet - unfortunately people do still think that way.

I'm almost ashamed to say that I work with a woman that has blazenly said these things. Although I have to add she is the same about other topics so just talks out of her as in general.

I guess i should have added to my post.

1. abused from age 7 to 11 by family member, included full rape.Not reported and still have to see this person regulary.

2. By a dirty old man,my friends dads friend iykwim, touched me up when i was 12, reported - but he just got a slap on the wrist.

Well just that really. I was assaulted, reported it and they didn't believe me. Was fourteen at the time.

me unreported aged 17

a close friend of mine was aexually assaulted for years by the grandparents in whose care she had been left when her parents split. she was 14 when she told me and it had been happening since she was 8

now that i think about it there was another time for me when i was 16 and my so called best friend who couldn't accept that i didn't see him as anything but a friend sexually assaulted me when i was drunk. no one believed i hadn't been 'up for it' so didn't report it

the time i was raped i got pregnant as a result at 16... when i found out i spent 2 days doing thousand of sit ups til i was sick and jumping down stairs til i eventually started bleeding...... couldn't face the thought of my baby having to grow up the child of a rapist. even dp who i've told about the rape doesn't know why i miscarried, too ashamed to tell him

Raped, about 18, unreported.

Knew the bloke, dated a couple of times. Was in his house, didn't put up too much of a struggle. Didn't want sex, but felt I'd put myself in that position iykwim. He was very assertive without being violent. I have no doubt that he would have turned violent had I put up a struggle.

Oh God, this makes me feel sick. Prior to this I also saw his brother a couple of times(I know I know). Never got to this stage with him but not long after he was found Not Guilty in a rape trial. The defence was that the girl consented and changed her mind when boyfriend found out. Have to say local gossip thought same. Fast forward several years this man is a predatory rapist, has served a long time in prison and DH (through work) thinks he's one of the most dangerous men he's ever come across.

Thankfully (sadly) DH knows none of the above about me, although he knows I know the family.

Me - was 17 and attacked and raped at knifepoint. Didn't report it as I didn't think anyone would believe me. Tbh I haven't actually told anybody details of what happened and don't know if I ever will. It still affects me nearly everyday, I have no self esteem and sometimes hate myself for letting it happen.

I am one of the lucky 1%. I am shaking with horror at this thread.

What makes me angriest is how many people say they knew they wouldn't be believed. What a terrible, terrible position to be in.

Having read this thread, I've decided that as soon as my dd's are old enough I will stress to them again and again that I will always believe them. And that if they feel uncomfortable about someone they know, I will make sure they never have to spend time with that person.

What else can we do? Any suggestions?