Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Other subjects
Original poster

This is a VERY sensitive subject, I know, but I am curious to know just how big a problem this is

1014 replies

VeniVidiVickiQV · 13/09/2006 20:40

How many people on here have been assaulted/raped and have either reported or not reported it?

I found out that the conviction rate rapes was just 6% . 6% of reported rapes. There are many many many more that go unreported. I want to know roughly what kind of figure we are looking at. Please change your name if need be, but do post.....

I'll start..

Me - unreported.

OP posts:
winnie · 13/09/2006 23:53

me; unreported

MeAndMyBoy · 13/09/2006 23:53

Yes raped by boyfriend after we split up as revenge for refusing to get back together with him.

But looking back over the relationship while I've been reading other peoples posts, there were several other occasions where I let him do things when I really didn't want to. I remember getting home after one weekend of visiting him at Uni and being violently sick and even for a split second considered taking an overdose because of what he'd done to me.

He actually had the gaul to ask if what he'd done was rape months later when I bumped into him one day. Bastard.

Scaredofbeingrecognised · 13/09/2006 23:56

For the people who have commented about me leaving my child with the relative that abused me please stop, I was 7 at the time my abuser was 14, he was a young man just finding out about girls. Yes I know it is still disgusting and he would have known it was wrong but I also know that he is not ill or sick as most of the men who do this are, he was simply an idiot boy.

I wish I had never posted on this thread now.

notadmittedthistomyselfbefore · 13/09/2006 23:57

And whilst I fully agree that No means No, and rape is rape, and that men are responsible for their actions and should be convicted and sentenced appropriately, girls/women should take every precaution they can to avoid putting themselves at risk. The men are totally responsible, but it's the woman that suffers in so many ways, whether or not the man is caught/convicted/sentenced appropriately. And whilst women/girls should feel safe, sadly it's a myth.

Please, teach your daughters how to look after themselves.

Apologies if I've offended anyone with this statement, I do believe the men are responsible, just trying to save someone somewhere some heartache.

2plus2plus1 · 13/09/2006 23:58

HOw old do you think is 'old enough' Welliemum. After this thread I am definately going to talk to my DDs - but don't want to do it too early definately don't want to do it too late.

Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 13/09/2006 23:59

sobr - dont say that. Its hard for people to understand each individual circumstance and people make kneejerk reactions.

People can rehabilitate. Really they can.

Im glad you posted.

OP posts:
Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 14/09/2006 00:00

dontliketothinkabout it - CAT me please.....

OP posts:
notadmittedthistomyselfbefore · 14/09/2006 00:00

I agree with VVVQV.

shorty3 · 14/09/2006 00:01

sobr - I think alot of people will have read the message and immediately have thought of an adult aged relative, I know I certainly did.

JustaName · 14/09/2006 00:02

I want to talk to my DD. How old does she have to be not to scare her. I hadn't thought of broaching the subject yet. She is 5, but i was being abused by now. Thinking of it like that - just doesn't bare thinking of...

Scaredofbeingrecognised · 14/09/2006 00:05

I can see that now, which is why I wanted to give a few facts. I suppose it just goes to show that jumping to conclusions can be dangerous.

I don't want to play down the fact that it was with no doubt sexual abuse but by a stupid experimenting boy rather than a cruel and calculating adult like my boyfriend was.

Hope that makes sense.

kama · 14/09/2006 00:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Heathcliffscathy · 14/09/2006 00:13

nothing to compare with some of what is on here.

flashed at twice once aged 11 once aged 12.

told by a man in a car i was passing that he was 'going to fuck me'. which scared the living crap out of me for a good long while

i am so in awe of this thread in that it bears witness to so many acts that have had no witnesses til now.

fairyfly · 14/09/2006 00:13

i know i am possibly one of the luckiest " victims" of sexual assault there is.

I'm so sorry for every single womans post on here and hope you all find some recovery.

Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 14/09/2006 00:15

luckiest?

OP posts:
kimi · 14/09/2006 00:16

Thankfully the worst thing to happen to me was a workmate of DH "copping a feel" but i reported him and took him to court.

Sadly my sister was raped 5 years ago, but she reportrd it and the peice of filth is now doing 11 years.

Mhamai · 14/09/2006 00:19

have also been confused re my father as he insisted ritually on belting my bottom with his belt, buckle end in my bedroom from the age of 9, sometimes I rationalise because there wasn't penetration. Sorry getting very upset, thanks to everyone else for their bravery, courage and honesty, I'm training to be a counsellor and am in therapy myself and have touched on this but it's very raw.

Molesworth · 14/09/2006 00:21

"i am so in awe of this thread in that it bears witness to so many acts that have had no witnesses til now."

soph, thanks for finding the words I was struggling to find

fairyfly · 14/09/2006 00:21

Yes Lucky vvv.

Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 14/09/2006 00:22

Yes, it was spot on.

OP posts:
Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 14/09/2006 00:23

Why do you say that?

OP posts:
Gillian76 · 14/09/2006 00:29
Sad
fairyfly · 14/09/2006 00:32

It's hard to explain.

I'm lucky because i was fearful and scared but i found the most wonderful support.

I'm lucky because as soon as i reported it i started to find some answers and closure in it all.

I'm lucky practically because he broke into my house and it wasn't somewhere else so all the fingerprints in the world could be taken.

I'm lucky because i got through the court case and never thought i would.

I'm lucky because he was found guilty.

I think mostly i'm lucky because the fact it was in my house made it sooooooooo much easier to gather evidence.

Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 14/09/2006 00:36

You've explained it just fine FF. Thank you. Did you know him?

OP posts:
newnameforthisone · 14/09/2006 00:36

Message withdrawn

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread