Child sex offender

[okeydonkey]

I can't believe Im actually writing this. I found out my sister, who has two children from previous relationship, has been seeing a man who is on the child sex offenders register. He was caught downloading child porn on a work computer. My sister is saying there's a fine line and he didn't know the girls were under age. I'm sickened. AIBU to feel like she's trying to pull wool over my eyes. As he's done so with her.

Sleep, what an awful thing for your family to go through. I'm so sorry to hear what you all went through. Thank you for sharing your experience though, hopefully it will act as a warning and make people stop and think.

How is your niece today? I really hope she's finding a way to move forward with her life after such a terrible betrayal.

OP please take note of sleep's post, a possible glimpse into the future if nothing is done now to protect those kids. Any news from the police?

she moving forward, she's been out of hospital for a few months now. But trauma I'm childhood can bring on mental illness. she currently also taking antisycotics. her potential life stolen,
she will never fully recover. He has moved areas and put it behind him.
no justice.
I can almost hear him in my mind talking his way out of questions about his past.
how it was a misunderstanding that she was ill even then.
makes me sick with worry that he might move on to destroy someone else's life. And while people exist who are willing to give men like him the benefit of the doubt children will remain at risk.

she moving forward, she's been out of hospital for a few months now. But trauma I'm childhood can bring on mental illness. she currently also taking antisycotics. her potential life stolen,
she will never fully recover. He has moved areas and put it behind him.
no justice.
I can almost hear him in my mind talking his way out of questions about his past.
how it was a misunderstanding that she was ill even then.
makes me sick with worry that he might move on to destroy someone else's life. And while people exist who are willing to give men like him the benefit of the doubt children will remain at risk.

Sleeps, I'm so so sorry.

OkeyDonkey, I hope you're OK, and that the police and SS were helpful.

Sleeps, that poor girl. I'm so sorry.

sleeps I'm so so sorry. How awful, that poor poor little girl. And everyone who feels the blame of not knowing. I know nothing will make you feel better, but I feel I have to say, he did it. Not you.

Op- just to add, you are doing the right thing. Don't feel the new to talk to him, talking to the police first, then possibly contacting ss directly, unless the police will do that next step for you.

If you are in contact with her exp/dn's father, then letting him know might be a good next step, although if you know your dsis won't be seeing her boyfriend for a couple of days, you can wait until you've spoken to the police and ss, there's no rush on that, however, he needs to be told.

Hi thanks for all your messages
I phoned the central referral unit and the police are calling in the morning to get details and full out form over phone which takes 20 mins.
I also saw a previous counsellor to get some perspective and she is shocked at how my mum and sister are reacting or rather not reacting.
I just want to stop thinking about it.
Her ex p knows. He text me to say if I need to chat he there for me.

I think he's not seen by law as a threat but I see a threat just by having that as a past.

The lady from the Stop it helpline said that when things like this go to court it's really dependent on the judge that day, and the legal team. Which is totally sickening.

Given the amount of politicians, judges and people in prominent positions whose names have appeared in these lists about paedophiles I'm not surprised at some people getting light sentences.

okeydonkey Mon 07-Jul-14 22:51:00 ... Thanks wheresthelight. The images where 1,2,3,4 but not the highest/worst 5.

You are not overreacting OP. Anyone normal would not welcome a convicted pedo into the family with open arms.

The saddest posts you read on here those who question why their mothers did not protect them from abusers.

Just read through your thread OP. you are doing a really good thing chasing this up. These kids are at risk and need to be protected not only from this man but also from the complacency their mother and grandmother are demonstrating. Sounds like you are the only one with your head screwed on right!

Any more feedback from the police?

The attitude of your sister has me shocked, if any man I was dating was convicted of looking at child abuse, I'd call him every name under the sun and would never see him again.

When I comes to protecting my DD, I'd rip the throat out of any man who even thought about her like that.

Hi guys.
I've spoken to a nice police officer and as part of the disclosure scheme I've applied for his details and information of the reason he's on the register. I can get this information by end of next week but the information I get is confidential. But if my child or hers are in danger the police will intervene.
My sister told me last night the bullshit she's been fed, he wanted to use work comp as he was depressed and wanted to be fired. He thought he would just be fired but he got arrested. They saw him as no threat so it took a long time for the trial to take place. The images downloaded were because he was addicted to adult porn and the child Abuse images came in the package that he'd bought.
Who buys that then??

I mean who buys the story not the package

Oh dear that does sound like b

Your sister is well sucked in, isn't she?

You don't get indecent images of children off the back of adult porn.

Try again!

Oh dear that does sound like bollocks :( hopefully the information that comes back will help your sister see sense and if not hopefully someone will protect her children for her.

Now the next step to my investigation without downloading it is to find out about that lie about the package. I will think of away of finding out how likely it is to be a package or not.

She told me I was reacting like a daily mail reader when I told her I couldn't eat or sleep and feel sick. We've basically fallen out and she's made me feel like I'm dramatising it.

If it came as a package, that he clearly didn't look for indecent images of children, but of adults and thought he was only going to get adult ones, then the police wouldn't have wasted their time in prosecuting.

Your sister wants to believe he's innocent, so will accept obvious lies, because thats easier than the truth, because if she believes the truth she'll have to act.

Carry on with pushing this. She's not going to 'see sense' - she doesn't want to. You've got to get the details, and talk to her exP, if she can't provide a safe home for their child, he might have to step up.

He's talking rubbish. Why would he pay for adult images which he could presumably find anywhere for free? I'm guessing images of children being abused are harder to find and so he paid. And he did it on the work computer to try and have no links to him but he fucked up.