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Original poster

DD1 has been invited to a party and the invitation says "No gifts please, only donations inside the card"...OUTRAGEOUS!!

222 replies

SourOldBat · 13/03/2006 18:56

I thought at first that it was a request for donations to a charity that the family support, but no, they are asking for MONEY for their DS so that he can choose his own presents!

I think this is outrageous - think I will buy him a small gift and enclose a donation (cheque) to a charity within and say "what alovely idea..."

What would you do??

OP posts:
JoolsToo · 13/03/2006 18:57

same as you - cheek!

what a lovely lesson for the child

Twiglett · 13/03/2006 18:57

laugh .. think WTF .. then post about it on mumsnet probably

Grin
compo · 13/03/2006 18:58

I would give him a present anyway and ignore their outrageous request - ow old is he going to be???

JoolsToo · 13/03/2006 18:59

it sounds a bit like - "no flowers please but donations to ..... " for a funeral

harpsichordcarrier · 13/03/2006 18:59

Shock wtf????
how old is he?
yes donation to charity sounds good
WHAT are they teaching this child???

Blandmum · 13/03/2006 19:00

Out of order.

desperateSCOUSEwife · 13/03/2006 19:00

there was a thread on this a few weeks ago

what a cheek

GDG · 13/03/2006 19:00

OMG are you joking?! I am Shock and Angry - what awful, awful people!!

I'd put a cheque in for a charity - or I'd put a note in saying I'd donated it and waht a lovely, thoughtful idea Grin

zippitippitoes · 13/03/2006 19:00

lol Grin

welshboris · 13/03/2006 19:01

Yeah go for the charity thing

Thats awful,the poor child wont have presents to open from his mates

Original poster
SourOldBat · 13/03/2006 19:01

He is seven, going to be eight - yes, Jools Two, like saying, no flowers at funeral please but we'd like a donation to the cost of the wake, and we'll pocket what's left for our own enjoyment!

OP posts:
Pinotmum · 13/03/2006 19:02

Disgraceful! I think I'd make up a reason not to go but it would make the parents think if everyone just turned up with a present and ignored the request.

Original poster
SourOldBat · 13/03/2006 19:03

I am livid. I genuinely thought it was a request for charidee donations (Mum has been ill), but a friend who thought the same rang up and the Mum said "Oh no, it's for DS, like, so that he can choose his own presents and get stuff he wants!"

OP posts:
juliab · 13/03/2006 19:04

OK, I think it's outrageous too but I'm trying to get with the party child's parents' thinking here...
Maybe they think he/she has too many toys etc already and, if they're inviting zillions of kids, that zillions of presents would be a bit of an excitement overload?
Or maybe they have a big present (bike?) in mind and think child would prefer that to lots of little ones.
Dunno - bit stunned really.
BUT I think they were blinking rude to phrase it like that. Either needs a proper explanatory note or, better, a word in the ear of all the parents.
And even then, they should leave it up to you to decide what to do.
What are the parents like?

SorenLorensen · 13/03/2006 19:04

Unbelievable. Honestly, I thought I'd heard everything but that takes the biscuit. I'd be tempted to wilfully misunderstand and write in the child's card "What a lovely idea! As requested I have donated £10 to charity."

If they ask which charity say "The Royal Society for the Education of Parents in Good Manners".

I am dying to phone my Mum and tell her about this...

Original poster
SourOldBat · 13/03/2006 19:05

Father is quite posh, Mum is rough as a badger's arse. Grin

OP posts:
juliab · 13/03/2006 19:05

O MY GOD! just seen your last post SOB - that's the last time I try to see the other side!
Greedy, tactless, ungrateful old gits...

harpsichordcarrier · 13/03/2006 19:05

if he has too much stuff then say no presents please
simple
that's what I have done for the past two years
if people really want to - close friends - they will buy anyway
I wouldn't want anyone to think there is a PRICE for coming to a party
nauseating

blueteddy · 13/03/2006 19:08

That is horrendous! How rude!!
I would do exactually what you suggested. Buy him a small gift & donate some money to charity.

Troutpout · 13/03/2006 19:08
Shock flippin cheek
robinpud · 13/03/2006 19:10

I think this is a bit up front for me but can see the thinking behind it sort of. We don't buy our kids much other than birthdays and christmas . 1 of ds's friends got muddled about the pparty and didn't have time to buy a present so the dad stuck a fiver in his card. My ds loved being able to choose something. when I told the dad concerend how much my son had enjoyed it , he said that he had started doing it for other kids as they all have so much and it's nice for them to spend it on something they want. I would never dream of writing anything like this down, my dd had her party this weekend and absiolutely loved all of her pressies and it's the only time she gets indulged aaprt from Christmas. Birthdays are a time to be a little impractical I think . We spend too much time being sensible. I don't think the birthday child thought of this one

I would buy\link{http://www.oxfamunwrapped.com/ProductItem.aspx?ProductID=OU1633\pressie to split with a friend}

starlover · 13/03/2006 19:12

i can understand them not wanting tons of presents... but asking for money is Shock!

i would have said no presents thank you, but if you really want to give something then he's saving for a bike (or whatever) and maybe had an anonymous tin for people to put money into

bubblerock · 13/03/2006 19:13

I think that is so rude, I don't even expect presents from DS's friends as I would hate for parents not to come to a party because they couldn't afford a gift.

Have a look at these \link{http://www.allaboutgiving.org/static/charityvouchers_index.aspx\charity vouchers}

Or, I would get a voucher for ToysRUs or somewhere similar to make sure the 'money' was spent on the child!!

Sod giving them a cheque/cash - I wouldn't !

Trifle · 13/03/2006 19:19

I actually think it is perfectly understandable and a reasonable request albeit badly requested. Children get bought endless amounts of crap that parents feel obliged to buy a birthday child when it would be far cheaper and easier to enclose a fiver. My ds1 absolutely loves having money so he can choose his own presents. There is nothing he likes more than trawling round Woolies looking for something interesting and it helps him realise the value of money when he can calculate how much he has to spend. I think these parents are doing you a favour. After all you cant get much for £5 these days and it is likely that most people spend between £5 - £10 on a present so this works out much more economical. I wouldnt hesitate to do the same thing although would request it a little more tactfully.

Nikkinoo · 13/03/2006 19:19

I feel sorry for the child.

Didnt posh and becks ask for Selfridges vouchers instead of gifts?

This is an indicator of how materialistic people have become. Sad really