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Original poster

DD1 has been invited to a party and the invitation says "No gifts please, only donations inside the card"...OUTRAGEOUS!!

222 replies

SourOldBat · 13/03/2006 18:56

I thought at first that it was a request for donations to a charity that the family support, but no, they are asking for MONEY for their DS so that he can choose his own presents!

I think this is outrageous - think I will buy him a small gift and enclose a donation (cheque) to a charity within and say "what alovely idea..."

What would you do??

OP posts:
DumbledoresGirl · 13/03/2006 22:21

Why take out your disgust at the parents asking for money on the child? I am horrified that some people are saying give a charitable donation instead. I hope they are joking.

hunkermunker · 13/03/2006 22:34

DS1's birthday is in a few weeks - he'll be two.

We have a small house with plenty of plastic toys in - by mid-April, we'll have plenty more and nowhere to put them (quite apart from the fact that DS2 will be getting interested in toys soon and we'll get some of the baby ones out again).

I think it's really rude to ask for money, but not to give money. I will be begging people not to give DS1 presents, frankly. He doesn't understand the concept yet, he has plenty and it won't do my sanity much good to have to find new homes for a bundleful of new toys.

Is it less wrong to ask for book tokens (I'm musing - I'd never actually do this!)?

Orinoco · 13/03/2006 22:38

Dumbledoresgirl - I'd be mortified if one of my dd's was given an oxfam goat or similar! They're kids!

thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat · 13/03/2006 22:38

I would be miserable and not get anything. they are really taking the piss.

hunkermunker · 13/03/2006 22:38

Orinoco, goats...kids...rofl!

tamum · 13/03/2006 22:39

I don't think there's anything remotely wrong with choosing to give money, it's the laying down the law about what people should do that would stick in my throat. It's exactly the same, manners-wise, as if they had said "Only gifts of Geomag please" or something. Actually no, it's worse. Yuck.

expatinscotland · 13/03/2006 22:40

'Dumbledoresgirl - I'd be mortified if one of my dd's was given an oxfam goat or similar! They're kids! '

And the family that gets the goat probably had kids, too.

Are people really this pitifully materialistic? Good god!

Orinoco · 13/03/2006 22:40

Oh yeah, Hunker! Unlike me to be witty Grin

paolosgirl · 13/03/2006 22:40

I can completely understand their not wanting any more 'little' presents that will be landfill in a few months time - but they could have worded it better, definitely - something along the lines of "DS is saving hard for a bike at the moment - if you're stuck for an idea, I'm sure he would really appreciate a small contribution" - something like that?

Or would that also be considered cheeky?!

expatinscotland · 13/03/2006 22:41

For tamum's birthday, I'm giving her the new Neil Diamond CD. I just hope no one I know sees me buying it. :o

paolosgirl · 13/03/2006 22:41

Ah, but now we ALL know you're doing it, expat!!

expatinscotland · 13/03/2006 22:42

I'm going to wear big shades and a Grace Kelly scarf and put on a thick Mexican accent.

tamum · 13/03/2006 22:43

Ooh expat, you are wicked :o Actually, I am insisting that everyone buys me Neil Diamond CDs.

Orinoco · 13/03/2006 22:43

Expat, we disagree again !Grin

Don't get me wrong, these type of present are completely right for certain circumstances, just not young children's birthdays.

expatinscotland · 13/03/2006 22:44

Or give 'donations' to a charity for those who have been affected by being subjected to Neil's tunes.

expatinscotland · 13/03/2006 22:46

Well, DD1 got a goat for her 2nd birthday. She was thrilled. Still has a picture of it up by her bed.

I got train-a-midwife as a baby gift from my work and it's the BEST gift!

thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat · 13/03/2006 22:46

next thing will be birthday gift lists

hunkermunker · 13/03/2006 22:47

bump2three already does new baby gift lists Shock

paolosgirl · 13/03/2006 22:47

I'd have loved a train-a-midwife when I left to go on mat leave. What a fabulous present idea! Was that from Good Gifts?

expatinscotland · 13/03/2006 22:48

Nope, paolo, it's from Oxfam. I was sooo pleased to get the card!

DumbledoresGirl · 13/03/2006 22:49

Expat, yes children are materialistic. Just as they are selfish and throw tantrums on the supermarket floor. While we seek to socialise them, it is not right to expect them to have adult sensibilities before they are adults.

Are you going to give your children an Oxfam goat on their birthdays?

Orinoco · 13/03/2006 22:50

Expat, I do agree that a gift from work like that would be brill. Last year work sent me some flowers for my birthday, and don't get me wrong, they were lovely, but a charity gift under those circumstances would have been great.

However, I stand by my statement that it's not appropriate for young kids. Birthdays are magical when you're little.

DumbledoresGirl · 13/03/2006 22:50

Oops I should read all the posts before replying. I see you have already answered my question. Blush

I still stand by my point about not expecting children to have adult sensibilities though.

expatinscotland · 13/03/2006 22:50

i was thinking about it, dd's girl, tbh.

nothing adult about giving - as i think moondog's story in her post on this thread illustrates.

paolosgirl · 13/03/2006 22:52

Adult sensibilites?
What - you mean like saying "actually, you don't really need any more toys because you have lots and lots that you don't play with, but we can get you a goat, and this goat can help feed a family with a boy and a girl your age, just like our family, and they can not be hungry, because that's horrible isn't it? Would you like to see a picture of the goat? Let's go and print it off...what do you think it's name is?

Try the conversation with your kids...mine loved the idea of a goat, they still talk about it (but they couldn't tell you anything else they got).

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