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I’ve just found out that my husband has slept with someone else. My world has fallen apart and I don’t know what to do.

629 replies

MyHeartisinTwo · 01/10/2026 21:09

Just that really. I can’t believe this is happening. I feel like I’m in a nightmare. We have a 3 year old DD. The OW sent me a message from a private instagram account because H had blocked her actual accounts on my phone without my knowledge. He works with her.

He’d gone to her birthday party which I knew about. Didn’t come home until after 4am which isn’t normal for him so I wasn’t happy and we had plans the next day. He said they’d all gone somewhere after the party. Turns out he was with her in a hotel down the road. This was weeks ago and he hadn’t told me.

When I confronted him he eventually admitted it. Said that he couldn’t explain it at first. Then said that there was distance between us and he was weak and naive. We were arguing a lot. He’s been struggling with his mental health and I’ve been doing my best to support him whilst working full-time in a stressful job. I thought we were just going through a rough patch.

I’m literally shaking. I don’t have a lot of family and I haven’t told anyone IRL yet. He says it doesn’t have to be over. But it does doesn’t it?

OP posts:
Ohyesiwill2 · Today 11:20

CrazyMidget · Today 10:55

I completely agree, Coralfz. Just because the husband is by far the worst criminal in this scene, doesn't mean that she's not a type of vile of her own. I never would have slept with a married man at that age either, as young as I was.

Yup. She is fully and entirely accountable for being a grubby little cow who made her own choices. He's by far the worst of the two, obviously, and should be the main target of OP's ire. But the random shagger is not a victim. At all.

Databreach · Today 11:39

So it was premeditated 🥺 so sorry op. Lots of love xx

Peachie31 · Today 11:40

PPAPPINE · Today 09:50

She only has the husband’s word for it and it doesn’t sound like she can trust a word that comes out of his mouth.
If he is telling the truth, why would she ask where she fits in if she hadn’t been given a reason to believe she would fit in somewhere?

It doesn't matter what bull he has been feeding the OW though. She was/is well aware that he has a wife and child and decided that it didn't matter.

Diddleydo43 · Today 12:58

Hi OP

So sorry this happened, and absolutely understand being torn. I have been both the OW and cheated on, no surprises there i guess, more fool me.

Anyway my only recommendation is have time away from him, he did the deed, he needs to move out, albeit temporarily until you work out how you feel and what YOU want to do, and how you want to love forward. Your terms.

I'm sad for you and DD, hope you figure out what next.

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