Neurodiversity support thread for women with suspected, diagnosed or self-diagnosed autism, ADHD and other NDs #18

[PolterThreadStarter]

As usual, latest support thread.

Welcome

Diagnosis has been a massive lifechanger for me, no drawbacks at all.

I'm 31 now, and I've just finished an Access course in humanities! Have a place at university to study English starting this Autumn (assuming that the grades I've been given don't get changed by the moderators - it's rare, but it does happen). If you're starting study, it will definitely, definitely be helpful if my experience is anything to go by.

Bon, I'm glad you're starting to trust your gut about certain people. Sounds like a good idea.

Aspien, bathroom stuff: I'm pretty good actually. I don't think I see the need to wash as often as some people (I shower and wash my hair every other day unless I've been particularly sweaty) but I do wash regularly and clean my teeth twice a day. If you mean, toileting stuff I need to pee all the bloody time (partly because I drink gallons of tea and partly because I hate the feeling so can't stop thinking about it from the moment I even vaguely need to go) and tend towards rather loose poos...

Faith, have you had the scan?

I doodled how I've been feeling any time I try to concentrate. It's sort of made me feel a bit better getting it on paper.

Yes BDH, thanks for asking. Scan showed nothing. I have a feeling once again they will get the pain under control and turf me back to the GP to 'Manage the IBS' which is the diagnosis they always go back to when scans SW nothing. Except IBS meds aren't helping, I already restrict my diet. Not sure what else can be done?! I'm feeling quite down today tbh.

Diagnosis wise - being diagnosed hasn't had any cons for me. I'm happier in myself, far kinder to myself. I've had better medical treatment, counselling with ASD in mind. Maybe the only negative is I'm still careful who I disclose to. I'm not embarrassed by it but some people have been a bit weird about the diagnosis.

Faith, Sounds like nobody really wants to have to look further to find the actual root cause. I take it they've looked into the possibility of Crohn's?

Has anyone (with or without diagnosis, really) managed to go from hiding their stims to stimming in public?

I feel like I shouldn't have to hide them and I already find it hard to keep a grip on 'me' without hiding stuff but I just do it automatically. I hide my stimming the least around the boys but still hide some of the more obvious/weird ones from DH most of the time, let alone other people.

I find I have 'alternative' ones I reserve for when I'm around other people/in public. Like, when I want to flap I click my fingers instead etc.

I stim in public and I'm trying to l learn to hide them. The public are not nice, for the most part I think people are total arse holes, did their parents not teach them it's rude to stare and point

I'm almost at "don't give a fuck". I got used to funny looks when I was on an antipsychotic medication which gave me bizarre-looking movement problems (think stereotypical Hollywood lunatic). The odd shake-the-water-off-the-hands is fairly inconspicuous in comparison. Never realised it could be an ASD thing until I watched a documentary on Limpsfield Grange a few years ago and saw a girl on there doing it - when I think "flapping" that's not what I think of. I also do a shaking-the-wristwatch-down-the-arm movement that I didn't realise could be an ASD thing until I saw another girl at an ASD summer school doing it. That one's not noticeably odd to the general public IMO.

I also came across kindness; a guy who worked in a local cafe helped me when my arm simply wouldn't go down by my side but instead insisted on winding up around my head - it's odd, neurological movement disorders (or even psychogenic ones) - he only had to guide my arm down, not force it, but somehow I didn't seem to be able to move it down myself. There are lovely people around; they're just not as noticeable as the tossers (and a lot of the people who stare aren't tossers, just… a bit unthinking, I think).

To be fair, my GP has done a lot. I've had x-rays (mild OA only on them), CT abdomen (normal), colonoscopy (normal), rheumatology review (he said it's not rheumatological), gynae swabs done (only came back with thrush). Most likely things are that it's gynae or bowel related....who knows? The docs are a bit stumped.

Stimming, mine are quite subtle - I twiddle my hair and rub my upper lip. I don't even know I'm doing them so I do do them in public but I don't think people would know they are stimms as such.

I don't really stim in any obvious way, I'm just fidgety! I tend to pick at my fingers or twiddle keys or bag straps, and often over-extend my joints for feedback.

It's reading this thread that makes me think I have more tics and oddities that I realised! I will hold a wee forever... well as long as possible. You know when you think "argh I need a wee" and then you're somehow able to squash it down and carry on for a bit. Until you're really bursting. Then you have to go. But I'm not sure how unusual that is. It's probably a combo of frequency and why you're holding it.

I shake my wrist watch down and up loads when I wear one. I chew my fingers. Sometimes a lot. But I'm always quite careful not to make them sore.
I'm actually quite particular about making sure I look clean and presentable. Although I frequently don't I suppose it happens when I have the energy.

Hmmmmm I'm possibly more odd than I thought.

And oh I fidget. Really fidget. I disturb others. I'm chatty... or closed down. Jeeeez

But on the diagnosis thing. I think it's really really helpful to have a diagnosis. It's is definitely a process though.
The relief of having a sort of answer.
The frustration at being at the start again.
The shame and the grief of "if only I had known before!"
The trick is knowing when to disclose I suppose. And how much you want to disclose and to whom is totally your own choice and it should remain so.

Where is everyone?

I think I've had too much coffee........ argh.... i love coffee. I have to be careful otherwise I turn into a jittering fidget... I wonder if another coffee would help........ I know I know I'm talking nonsense. I might delete this instead of posting no I don't ever really do that

I'm still in hospital

Oh no faith, any idea when you will get home

Ive got an interview in an hour that I've been pressured into, for a job I didn't apply for or want

I love this thread.

It's very hard to stop masking stim if you've masked for many years.

How's the coffee high mrsN

DH broke both of his feet (broken in a loose sense, one is mysteriously painful and requires MRIs and all sorts and the other is badly bruised) so we've been trailing round various specialists all day and on the phone to even more who (as I'm finding happens a lot) don't have any appointments for weeks and weeks.

Bloody hell Bertie how on earth did he do that? Is your arm better now?

Faith

Did he forget he dropped something on them Bertie?

No idea how long I'll be..just had another scan. Will see what that shows (cynical me thinks nothing). They are debating taking me to theatre to have a look inside. No keen on that idea but I'd really like a diagnosis.

Hope the interview goes okay Bubbles. Sorry you've been pressured.

I mean it went well in the fact I didn't panic, because it was online web cam call thing, but also because I didn't want it so I was silent for most of it being like :S why am I here. Its for a "friends" family business they manage so they're basically pushed me into the interview, then pushed me into saying yes on the call, but I'm going to write an email now being like erm no!

Hello again Neil Diamond crooning Just catching up and noticed a few references about bowels and toiletting? Not sure if it is relevant, but I have suffered for years with sensitivities, bowel issues bordering on autoimmune disorder, and I have recently read ( will find source!) about the link between ASD and incidences of inflammatory issues; also, that certain foods (gluten) can make it worse and increase certain behaviours due to inflammation in parts of the brain?? It's sounds crazy as I type this, but will see if I can find the information. As for stimming, I scratch and pick at my scalp excessively - I go into a trance when I do it!!

Hygiene - I forced myself into 1 shower 2 teeth cleans a day habit. I don't do baths, I find them uncomfortable. Now my love of routine means I stuck to it. I'm trying to train DD to do the same.

I never wear make up, never use a hairdryer, never touch perfume. I also cannot wear jewellery of any type including watches.

I also have stomach issues. Currently
Being investigated for coeliac.

In bad news my car is still shot. This afternoon it went to an auto electrician. Desperately hoping it can be fixed and won't cost the earth as I really can't afford to replace it right now.

I do the scalp scratching thing. I also run my fingers together or stroke my jeans.

At home if I'm in bed I have specific covers which I use and I have to stroke them with my feet and face to sleep.