Happy new year all.
Just popping back on for a chat if that's ok.
I went up to my parents loft today and thanks to my mum keeping everything I ever owned, I've been looking at my old school reports.
I'm planning to call for an initial GP appointment next week (so I might get one in February 😅) and I guess I wanted to see if I imagined always being like this.
Um, nope. I think the reports were actually worse than I'd remembered. 🙈
Right from my first couple of years it's all comments like 'struggles to complete work' 'distractible' 'talks a bit much' 'needs to try harder'. A lot of it is all about how I'm well behaved and conscientious and love reading though, so the teachers seemed to like me.
The secondary school ones aren't as clear as some teachers just ticked the boxes and didn't write much. However they do have a lot of 'tries hard, does well in assessments/tests, but works too slowly/doesn't complete work as expected'
It gets a bit messy when I get to the last couple of years of school, with more coursework and studying expected, predicted grades were more all over the place than I remembered. My physics teacher seemed particularly annoyed as my tests were something like "either top or bottom of the class with no pattern I can discern, although less lounging on the desk daydreaming would help" 
My mum was wondering why I was after them, I said I'll tell her later.
Overall though, the reports are mostly positive, as I generally didn't cause too much trouble in class. Maybe just some frustration due to my inability to get through my work apparently.
Reading them was a bit sad, but it's given me a bit of confidence to go and ask for help with this. Also to talk with DH about how I'm already trying to notice the things I struggle with, which has been positive so far. (After his initial wtf? 😂)