Neurodiversity support thread for women with suspected, diagnosed or self-diagnosed autism, ADHD and other NDs #18

[PolterThreadStarter]

As usual, latest support thread.

Welcome

Hi thanks aphrodites and penguinflippers for your replies. I have decided to definitely go for it. Now need to decide where to go. Plan to go and see our GP but if anyone has any recommendations of where to in London/SE I would be grateful. I think I am a dab hand at masking so feel I could be dismissed before I have started. I have started keeping a notebook.
Thanks again

Hiya, I'm new to this thread (and board), but I was diagnosed with Autism (asperger's syndrome as it was called then) and dyspraxia, I also suspect I have dyslexia but I don't have a diagnosis for that.
I've just finished my first year in university (with a first, which I'm very very proud of), but I'm a bit nervous for second year because then it starts to count and obviously the requires standard of work goes up, does anyone here have any suggestions or advice on what I can do to better my chances, be it on keeping stress down or improving grades?

Thanks for the link.

Stress relief: do relaxation exercise every day, exercise as often as possible as well. Try to get enough sleep.

@aphrodites it sounds like your trust is similar to mine; it took 8 months from referral to screening appointment, and I've now been waiting almost three months for a full assessment appointment date to come through. The process is anything but swift. I hope you aren't kept waiting much longer.

@penguinflippers Thank you, I'm trying to remind myself the same regarding that place, hopefully it'll be a positive experience.

I've started making bullet points for my notes, I'm such a terrible procrastinator though and I keep putting off doing it properly!

@ButWhyMama that's tough, have you chased them up recently ? sometimes you can get a sooner appointment if you nag them.

@DrPeppersPhD Congratulations on your first year, that's a brilliant achievement! I would really recommend being open with your tutors, don't wait until you feel really anxious and things are starting to pile up but as a general notice before you start second year, maybe an email might be easier to manage? let them know what you struggle with and what would help you with your studies.

@Mary19 I'm glad to hear you are going for it, no advice re the south east as I'm in Bristol , although I am originally from Surrey. The lorna wing centre is supposed to be very good for women so they are who I would go to if I was perusing it privately .

So my internship at the civil service (don’t think I specified that but before) is over now. It went really well, everyone I met was really friendly and welcoming. I was definitely encouraged to consider working for the civil service, I got the impression that they’re definitely putting the effort in to become diverse in who they employ. I had an assigned “work buddy” who was the person who gave me the tasks I did, and when we were discussing how the internship had gone on the final day he was really positive, which was nice to hear.
I also like the idea of the civil service because it’s so huge, there are so many different areas even within the same department, you can chop and change quite easily. It’s definitely an area to look into.

The Concerta was quite a low dose so I don’t think it’s made a huge amount of difference yet. I’ve not had any major side effects or anything so far.

Hello,

I have ASD, ADHD, Dyslexia and Anxiety.

I crashed out of another job last month.

Repeateec pattern throughout my 20 years in the workplace.

Apart from my GP two weeks ago and some supermarket staff, I’ve literally spoken to no-one since.
If I had an accident and died, no-one would notice, ever.

I remind myself of Joyce Carol Vincent

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joyce_Vincent

I’m exhausted and bereft.

I feel like I may be out of tries.

ShutUpJanet
I’m so sorry you feel like this. I have felt like it before too. Please don’t give up hope. Have you got any family that you could get back in contact with. You might not feel like it but churches can be nice places where everyone is welcome. You don’t have to believe in the faith.
Please keep posting if you want to, I’m going to check the board regularly to see if you do. Xx

Thanks, that’s so kind.

No, no family at all.

Dad dead and NC with v abusive Mother.

I’m the black sheep/scapegoat.

I even emailed a Autism charity yesterday explaining the situation but they haven’t replied.

Not sure about Churches

@ShutUpJanet So sorry that you're feeling like this - please try and be kind to yourself, none of this is your fault. Try and focus on getting through one day at a time at the moment. Was your GP any help? Do keep posting on here if you feel up to it

@aphrodites It's completely understandable to keep putting off the note writing - it eats up a huge amount of mental energy. Maybe set yourself a little target of just writing down 1 symptom/example per day?

@DrPeppersPhD Congratulations on doing so well in your first year! I work at a uni - definitely speak to your uni's student wellbeing/health service and tell them you'll need help with managing stress due to your diagnoses; also if you think you might have dyslexia too then tell them about this and they should be able to arrange an assessment for that. Basically just make sure the uni are providing you with all the support you're entitled to.

@toffee1000 Great to hear your internship went well! Hope the Concerta starts to make a difference soon.

Thanks so much.

GP prescribed Anti-Ds so have been taking them for just over a couple of weeks now.

He also referred me for DBT as traditional CBT isn’t really a good fit for me, but I know that’s a long process.

I’ve been lying here for three hours wanting to go out or do something but haven’t managed it yet.

@ShutUpJanet Hope the ADs start to work for you soon - I'm on Citalopram (ridiculously low dose - 5mg) and I do think it helps me feel less awful when my ASD/ADHD makes me mess something up.
How are you feeling now? Don't beat yourself up if you can't make it out of the house today, just rest if you need to.

Thanks Penguin, it’s really nice of you to think of me.

Well, I’m dressed and have brushed my teeth so that’s better than most days.

I’m out of sparkling water (can’t drink still cos of texture) so I do need to leave at some point today otherwise I won’t drink.

I’ve just pulled all my clothes out of the wardrobe with intention to sort and charity bag.

Now I’m feeling that was ambitious and I’ve just made it all worse.

Still feeling v heavy and hopeless.

Since taking the anti Ds I am veering between tearful and angry, but is that better than feeling nothing?

@ShutUpJanet I really hope you managed to get out to get some water!

Something that's really helped me in getting big tasks done (like sorting out clothes) is to set a timer for 25 minutes and say to yourself 'right, you only have to do this for 25 minutes, then you can stop and go do something you actually want to do', and just focus solely on the task for that time - I'm always amazed at how much I can actually get done in those 25 minutes even with my useless ADHD brain.

I'm no expert at all on ADs but if you've been taking them for 2 weeks and still feeling the way you've described, it might be worth going back to your GP and seeing if they can try you on another type? I'm sure people on the mental health boards on here will have some experience of whichever meds you're on, so possibly try posting on there too.

@ShutUpJanet how did you get on today? Did you manage to go out? I’m also on anti-ds , 50 mg of sertraline. Meant to be coming off them. Can’t imagine that. I’m away on holiday with my family. Finding it so hard. Holidays are supposed to be fun, but I’m not having fun.
Can you go to GP again like @penguinflippers suggested?

Thanks so much for checking in with me penguin and oddgirl, it means a lot and I really appreciate it.

It took me from 0615 til 1520ish but I did manage to get some water.

I also emptied the bin and bought some bin bags so I can try and fill them with clothes tomorrow, we’ll see.

Re Anti Ds it says that it can take up to six weeks for them to take effect so...

I’m sorry your holiday is difficult oddgirl, so much pressure to have fun/relax. Is there anything specific or us it all just hard?

Hope you've had a better day today @ShutUpJanet

Posted too soon! Meant to say that I hope your holiday gets better @Oddgirlout - how soon until you come home?

Hi, off home tomorrow. There have been good points. Not all a disaster by any means. It takes me a few days to settle in and then we go back home again. I find it so disorientating. It's a beautiful part of the country and I think I'd be happier living here which is confusing too as moving our whole family would be hard. It's just lots of free time, lots of thinking and no routine!

How was today @ShutUpJanet?

Anyone else waiting for outcome of assessment?

Anyone there? Received my diagnosis today and am a bit thrown...

Hi @NothingElse, sorry I didn't see this yesterday. Do you feel like saying what you were diagnosed with?
It can be quite a shock when you first are told. I found it hard because I'd suspected asd for quite a while but to have it confirmed meant I couldn't pretend I was 'ok' to myself anymore. It was real. They even have me a piece of paper with it on. Mostly I'm glad I found out, it has helped me manage myself a lot better.
Hope you're ok xx

Hi @Oddgirlout thanks for reaching out. Sorry I forgot the thread is more general, diagnosis was autism. I've also suspected for years and felt like I was totally ok with it, even happy. I thought a diagnosis would be the relief I've been reading about it but all I feel is depression.
Not sure if it's because I hated the assessment and it made me feel bad about myself - which is obviously now confirmed. Plus the complete lack of communication or support from the clinician. Just feel bad.

@nothingelse I would recommend getting in touch with the autism society and getting some support, it's really saddening to hear your clinician isn't supportive.

I had my screening assesment today and have been told I'll be getting a full assesment. It felt very full on with the questions, I'm worried how much delving it'll involve.