Most bizarre conversation you have had with a toddler lately?

[peppapighastakenovermylife]

This morning on the way to nursery / work we were discussing how it was not a good idea to bite your tongue

We then criticised the cows for not being up yet (were not in their usual field) and how they must not have gone to bed at their usual bed time and how they would be very tired today

As random as they are I am really going to miss these conversations when they grow up

[Partyof52010]

My all time favourite came when DD was 4 and had just started school.
Me- What did you have for snack today?
DD-Lemon.
Me- Lemon?? Don't you mean Melon?
DD- Lemon, Melon, you know what I mean Mummy. Its the same letters, just a slightly different word.

another good one from her age 5;
DD- Can I have google earth on please.
Me- Yes, what for?
DD- I want to look for Australia.
Me- Oh, Grandads Mummy lives in Australia
DD- Really? How interesting.
Me- We could look for her house if you want.
DD- Not really Mummy, I was being narsastic. (I can only assume she meant sarcastic)

[SlightlyJaded]

Oh yes my DD 5 is now endlessly saying

"just google it" to her little brother when he asks questions

DS: Why do birds live in nests not houses?
DD: (in bored voice) just google it

[CheerfulYank]

This thread has me crying!

The other day DS (3 and a half and very keen on discussing "private parts") said: Did you wash your penis when you took a shower, Mama?

Me: No, remember only boys and men have penises.

DS: Well, what do ladies have? And little grills? (He cannot say girls for the life of him)

Me: They have a vagina.

DS: (looks at me like I'm completely mad) No, Mama! A China is who has the sun when we're sleeping!

:o

[ModreB]

DS1 was about 5 yo. (Bit older than a toddler, but bear with me - he is now 20yo)

We always used to go out on a Saturday morning, his choice where we went (DS2 has SN so this was our time with DS1).

He announced that he wanted to go to Cods

We asked "where is Cods" - to be told, "The good place where the interesting things are" We said that we did not know where he meant, cue hysterical crying "You know, you took me there, it's really good with dead people"

We then spent 2 hours driving around all the places that we had visited in the last few months with DS1 in Manchester, to find as we drive up Oxford Road near to Manchester University "THERE, THERE IS CODS".

It was Manchester Museum. I have no idea where he got the name from.

But we had a good day.

[SleepWhenImDead]

DS1 (just 3): I saw something funny upstairs
Me: Oh yes, what?
DS1: My foot!

[queenofboak]

This thread has made me laugh!

My dd recently in clothes shop.

Noticing potential epic scream 'moment'

Me Where Daddy?
DD Daddy, Daddy, Daddy
I look at what she is pointing at. 'Daddy' is a mannequin.

A Female mannequin.

A Female mannequin wearing a bikini

Another time random strange man walks past us, dd says 'hiya' and waves, man looks, smiles and walks off. Cue dd screaming 'DADDDDDDDIE' over and over as man runs for the hills exits.

For the record she does have Daddy

[shelfy74]

Loved this thread. My DS1 appears determined to attract social services attention. The other day, aged 3, he told me that "daddy just did kick me down the stairs and then he did kick me in the head". Daddy was quietly sorting out the laundry!!