Most bizarre conversation you have had with a toddler lately?

[peppapighastakenovermylife]

This morning on the way to nursery / work we were discussing how it was not a good idea to bite your tongue

We then criticised the cows for not being up yet (were not in their usual field) and how they must not have gone to bed at their usual bed time and how they would be very tired today

As random as they are I am really going to miss these conversations when they grow up

MY DS1 also says "You're ruining my Daaaaay" when I tell him off.

Message withdrawn

Have just rediscovered this thread and laughed all over again1
Reminded me od DD2 on the way home from pre-school:
Mummy, do moles like lemons?

Hello!

I am not a mum myself, but a struggling uni student, and reading these threads is just brilliant. Esp as us uni students miss our mums lots! My friend and I think you are all fab. I felt the urge to share some of my classic toddler moments

at the supermarket..
cashier: isn't your mummy nice buying you all those treats?
me: yes... (pauses) but she isnt strict enough sometimes

at playgroup
me: aunty dot (she ran the playgroup) can we have classic fm I don't like this music

watching beauty and the beast for the first time
me: (the moment when gastone dies)
HE HAS FALLEN TO HIS DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!! (cries)

"Daddy took my trousers off in the park today"
Why's that,son?
"Because he was naaaaaughty"

Ok, but why did he take them off, did he change your pull up?

"No, he put my trousers on the cold dirty floor and that's why I got no trousers on!"

Errr, son ... I took your trousers off downstairs, remember? So what did daddy do with your trousers?

"Nuffin. I said it cos I big"

Mummy, I know that God sent you to look after me. But don't worry if you die, Daddy can do it. Will I be getting my P45?

(Shouted from the landing, where she is upstairs on her own getting herself dressed, halway inside her polo shirt- we are all downstairs) 'Mummy! I said I didn't want any help, but I saw a hand pointing into my sleeve. I can do it myself!' 'Do you think it might have been your own hand sweetie?' She insists it is definitely not her hand, but seems unconcerned about the idea of a disembodied hand...

working at my nursery we hear lots of funny stuff, keeps us laughing all day, the 2 year olds are very concerned at the moment:

Me laying on the decking after a child dropped a puzzle piece down one of the cracks trying to get it out

Child - Sarah Sarah Nooooooo, stop
Me (sarah)- whats wrong?
Child - be careful sarah don't fall down the hole.
Me- ok i'll try not to
child - i'll hold your leg to keep you safe

She sat with me holding onto me, continually telling me to be safe, be careful and being very concerned about my safety

The other morning DD ran into my bedroom with a big string of snot running from her nose into her mouth, shouting:

"Oh no! Mummy! Help! My nose is stuck to my mouth"

I know I'm almost a year too later, but "Nellie the elephant back to front...."
might just be the cutest thing I've ever heard!

Just adding mine from DS for posterity. He's just 2 btw

1
DS: mummy look a big big airplane
Me: yes darling. where's it going?
DS To the airport. Go to the shop buy bananas

2
DS: Look mummy, here;s my car key. The wombles live in it.

3
Given these two rather leftfield bizarre statements we were playing "where's your mouth? where are your ears?" etc
and when he said what's in mummy's nose? I was expecting some kind of cute answer like perhaps "roary the racing car"
DS: what's in mummy's nose?
Me: what do you think is in mummy's nose?
DS: some snot.

One from my DS2 when he was 5 years old: me "oh look DS1 has a mole in his ear" DS2 "Nooooooo the moles will dig holes in him like the garden and they will eat his brain like worms". Gotta love the randomness!

ds shouts no dont beat me!! whilst covering his ears!

DD (3) - can I jump in the telly and play with Peppa Pig

Me - No sweetie, we can't jump in the telly

DD - No mummy, I don't want you to jump in the telly, just me

Another random one

DD - Mummy, I would like to eat a rainbow

Me - A rainbow ? And what colour would you eat first ?

DD - (thinks for a few seconds), I'd eat the blue, silly

Champagnesupernova, my 2.8 DS also tells me that 'airplanes' are going to the shops to buy bananas and oranges!

awwww, i'm new and just discovering these classic threads......

I pointed out to DS that it had been snowing when i got him out of bed one morning "look, DS, SNOW...."

He looked at me puzzled and pointed to his nose!

He's 16months bless him

DD (age 3) when asked about colours, "that's yellow mummy, like your teeth"

loving this thread, glad its continuing!

around Remembrance Sunday we had all been out to Sainsburys to get an Indian meal for our dinner, and DS (2.2yrs) got his first Poppy - very proud to wear it.

Anyway later on at dinner...

Me: DS do you want to try some poppadom?
DS looking down at his jumper: 'Yes, ere it is! I got my poppy on'

Bless him

My friend's little girl, who was very much from Somerset, used to say in a very strident, Northern accent whenever she saw me 'Get that coat off'

dd (aged, 4) . mum can you have another baby

me. well i would love to but you need a husband or boyfriend to have a baby

dd. or a girlfriend.

me. well yes but it makes having a baby a little less strait forward, i would still need a man to help.

dd. yes because you would only have 2 lady parts and you need a man and a ladies part to make a baby.

me. well you need the ladies egg and the mans seed.

dd. dont be stupid mum men have sperm, not seeds.

[shocked] and impressed did not even know she knew about sperm, my conversations are just about to get a little more interesting.

This is the best MN classic thread ever, thanks for resurrecting it!
DH just came downstairs to check I am ok because he could hear me crying with laughter!

This thread has made me laugh out loud. We have lots of random conversations in our house.

Current favourites include (every time we pass a cemetery)

DS3: If you fall asleep on the bench in a cemetery, you will get dead
DD5: No, you have to be lying in the mud under the stones
DS3: But then how will you see if you are dead?
DD5. Mummy, tell him...
Me:

And

DD5 who is currently into her musicals: Annie, Bugsy Malone, Oliver etc

DD: "Mummy why do they sing instead of talking?"
Me: Because it's fun and it sounds nice
DD: Like Daddy's popsies! (farts)

And lots of 'jokes'

Why did the chicken cross the river?
Because the fish ate the crabs

Cue both of them laughing hysterically

Bless