Most bizarre conversation you have had with a toddler lately?

[peppapighastakenovermylife]

This morning on the way to nursery / work we were discussing how it was not a good idea to bite your tongue

We then criticised the cows for not being up yet (were not in their usual field) and how they must not have gone to bed at their usual bed time and how they would be very tired today

As random as they are I am really going to miss these conversations when they grow up

[MaureenMLove]

3 yr old nextdoor neighbour: Mo, I've got a snail, wanna see?
Mo: Oh yes please!
boy: He's gone inside his shell.
Mo: Do you think he doesn't want to get wet? (it was raining)
boy: No, he's gone in to watch telly.
Mo: Oh really?, What's he watching, CBBC?
boy: No, he's watching The Bill.
Mo: Gosh that's a grown up programme, does his mummy know he's watching it?
Boy: Mo, He's a snail, he doesn't have a mummy!

Silly Mo!

[alicecrail]

We don't really have conversations as such (DD is 20mo) but i do a running commentry of what i'm doing while DD looks at me like this

[spicemonster]

Right, in the interests of getting to the bottom of this egg mystery ('Egg!' was the first word he said when he woke up this morning), I got an egg out in the kitchen this morning.

"Egg! Open it mama, open it mama!"
Right I think, we're definitely onto something here. So I cracked it into a bowl. He cried but I pressed on to explore the fried egg theory. I fried it, put it on the Roary plate and he pushed it away, shrieking,
"No egg, no egg!"

So for breakfast he ate porridge and I had fried egg for possibly the first time in my life without a hangover

My investigations continue ...

[Belgianchocolates]

My dd1 is 5, but we still end up with random converations as she never really replies to questions, but just says what's on her mind at the time and half the time it's got nothing to do with it at all.

She's also in an actually phase.

Spicemonster, I hope you get to the botto of your egg mysterie soon. Both ds and dd1 (dd2 is only 2mo) went through phses of asking for mysterious unidentifiable things. I'm sure they used to think I was an idiot .

[claireybee]

We've been having all sorts with dd lately, she has just got really into asking sciencey questions (most of which are beyond me).

This morning she said "I had a baby called Spencer in my tummy and he grew and grew and grew til he was big enough but I didn't eat him to put him in my tummy and he grew and grew and grew and then I went upstairs and my tummy went pop and he came out but then I had to go to the shops to buy a new tummy because mummy wouldn't let me buy one on the computer and I bought my new tummy and I stuck it on with sticky tape and plasters but not glue because glue isn't for skin and now I have a new tummy and no baby in it"

[GentleOtter]

"Who could have taken the last of the chocolate biscuits ?"

(Toddler covered in chocolate)"The biting rabbit took them"

[Lifeinagoldfishbowl]

Maybe he wants a boiled egg? with the lion mark on it?

[Stayingsunnygirl]

This is bringing back some happy memories - well, I can remember having conversations like this with the dses, but unfortunately my brain cell is so old and tired that I can't remember any specifics at the moment - but I will be coming back to this thread because it is so cute and funny.

Many thanks all of you!!

[browntrout]

spicemonster - does he mean a runny egg?

[browntrout]

myjobismum - we've obviously both been here before!

[Shellseeker]

On seeing electricity pylons...
"Look at those frilly knickers!"
Every time!

[FlappyTheBat]

"Mummy, the peas we eat, are they different from the pees you do in the toilet?"

completely random question from dd1 when we were in the car the other day!

[Cloudspotter]

During a thunderstorm

Dd2: I'm scared of the loud noise, what is it?

Me: Don't worry, it's just giant electric sparks that come down from the sky (Why did I think this sounded reassuring?)

DH: Don't say that, it sounds even more scary.

Dd2: But will the giant electric sharks eat me?

[spicemonster]

Maybe he does want a soft boiled egg. I've never given him one so will have to check with his CM if that's what he means! Thanks for all the ideas - I'm sometimes a bit lacking in imagination in my interpretation

[BriocheDoree]

We had DS crying "cow train, cow train" every time we passed the station. Took me weeks to realise he was saying "Look out for a train" because the train only goes past every half an hour and he was hoping that it would coincide with our driving past.
To make it worse, he's bilingual and always seemed to be sneezing "tchoo, tchoo" every time he got in the car, until I realise it was "voiture".

[Belgianchocolates]

When the dcs used to come up with nonsense words, other people always used to look at me for an explanation thinking it was Dutch, as my dcs are also bilingual, brioche. Sadly I didn't know what they were on about either

[FabBakerGirlIsBack]

Mine is four so not really a toddler but the other day he

asked me when he was going to die
when could he be a cat
was he one when he came out of my tummy and today when could he be a bird.

[BalloonSlayer]

Not a toddler but had the following conversation with DD (7 and considered bright, believe it or not.) This is a truncated version of it BTW.

Me: (Pointing at telly) Oh look DD, an Octopus.

DD: Oh yes! Just like Squidward.

Me: Erm, well yeeeessssss, sort of, but Squidward's a squid.

DD: No, he's an Octopus.

Me: No, he's a squid. That's why he's called Squidward.

DD: But he is an Octopus.

Me: No, he is a squid. The clue is in the name. He is called Squidward. If he was an Octopus, he'd be called Octopusward. He's a squid. Because HIS NAME IS SQUIDWARD.

DD: Yes, he's a squid but he's an Octopus as well.

[charmander]

DS3 aged 3 joke, that he made up by himself

Why did the man cross the road?

To see the chicken

[FabBakerGirlIsBack]

[flimflammum]

DS: 'Do cock-a-roaches bite?' (after hearing about cockroaches for the first time)
Me: 'No, they don't bite, but people don't like them because they're dirty.'

Several days later...

DS: 'Can I find a clean cock-a-roach and keep him for my special pet?'
Me:

[shivster1980]

My dad died last year and the first time DS (then 27 months) went to his Nanna's house after Dad had died he went to investigate where she was hiding him. He took DH upstairs to check Grandad wasn't in their bedroom.

DS Is Grandad here?
DH No DS Grandad has died, he is in heaven.
DS (solemnly) yes... Grandad in heaven...doesn't need trousers.



I would like to reassure Mumsnetters that my darling Daddy was in life at least in the habit of wearing trousers in public, although DS seems to think he wont require them in heaven and I will just have to wait and see!

[sockmonkey]

Ok... not a toddler but made me laugh.

Driving the boys to the train station, going down a hill DS1 (6)pipes up

"Mummy, when we go down a steep hill my dinkle goes zero gravity and floats up!"