Most bizarre conversation you have had with a toddler lately?

[peppapighastakenovermylife]

This morning on the way to nursery / work we were discussing how it was not a good idea to bite your tongue

We then criticised the cows for not being up yet (were not in their usual field) and how they must not have gone to bed at their usual bed time and how they would be very tired today

As random as they are I am really going to miss these conversations when they grow up

[wahwah]

DS (3y) is very unhappy with spiders, because I told him that they eat flies. "Why can't they eat apples?" he asked.

I've just heard him telling his Dad, 'I want to be a lovely monkey".

[Stayingsunnygirl]

CarrieBo has reminded me of one, from ds1 when he was about 5. For the purposes of this story, it is necessary to remember that I was about 35 at the time.

I was looking through the Evans' catalogue at tops, and ds1 came to ask what I was looking at - I showed him the picture, told him I was thinking of buying that particular top, and asked if it would look nice. He said he thought so, but asked what the letter in the corner of the picture meant, so I explained that it directed you to the written details at the side of the page.

I read them out to him:
"Cotton printed long sleeved top, cerise, sizes 16, 18-20, 22-24, 26-28, 30 and 32.

'Ohh dear mummy' said ds1, 'it doesn't come in your size!' This made me a bit until I realised that all the sizes in his clothes were based on ages - and he thought mine were too!!

[KnitterInTheNW]

Spicemonster, haven't read all of thread so it may have been solved, but he didn't have a roary easter egg did he?

[HellHathNoFury]

My 2 year old DS keeps pointing at cute rabbits and squirrels and cats and then shouting at me 'DON'T EAT IT MUMMY!'

What does he think I am?!

[Raahh]

DD (2) calls all squirrels 'Jim'. She can say squirrel, so not sure where she got Jim from...

[SwissCheese]

DS said today that dinosaurs must be 'INstinct' because they are too big to push trollies at Sainsburys and anyway their feet are the wrong shape for the handles.

[GoldenSnitch]

DS (aged 2) keeps begging me to put 'boyogiog' on the TV. Some days he gets so distrught that I won't do it that I would love to comply just to take the hurt look off his face...

Unfortuneately, I have absolutely no clue what Boyogiog is!!!

[LittleMammaTo2]

DH: come on, time to put your jeans back on please

DD: (aged 2) No daddy, not jeans on just legs please

[Turniphead1]

Goldensnitch - could it be Bobinogs?

[MiaWallace]

dd (4) "when I'm a boy will I have brown hair like ben 10?"

another one of her gems

"can you lay a baby so I can have a brother?"

[waitingforbedtime]

Could be bobinogs or pocoyo????

[GoldenSnitch]

Could be Turniphead but I'm not sure he's ever seen Bobinogs

Might be worth a try next time he asks though...Thanks

[waitingforbedtime]

Sorry ^ was to Goldensnitch.

DS (2) has big hopes for when he grows up..so far we have had 'When I be bigger boy I be poo / strawberry / the moon / clouds that go bang (thunder) / a baby'

I just say 'ok then' - does that make me a bad mother?!

[DebiTheScot]

spicemonster I wouldn't be surprised if he remembers the Roary egg too. Today we went to friend's house. We havent been there for about 6 months. DS1 (3) announced after lunch that he was just going into the living room to look for the tiny plastic motorbike stand that he lost the last time we were there!

We also had the other day:
DS1: Why does the gruffalo have spines on his back?
Me: I don't know
DS1: Maybe God made him that way
Me: Yes maybe
DS1: Maybe God's got spines on his back too

We also have the converstaions where he makes up life stories for the people he sees walkin along the road- that man's going to Daddy's work, that lady's going home for her tea, she's having pizza etc etc.

Also told dh today that he (dh) is the cleverest and I am the wrongest!

I thought he was odd but actually seems quite normal

[legoprincess]

DD(4): "I know why Michael Jackson died"
Me: Yes, why?
DD: "Ants got into his tummy"

A couple of days later
DD: "Who's singing this song?" (on the radio)
Me: Michael Jackson
DD: "Don't be silly, Mummy. You can't sing when you are dead!"

[missismac]

DD(4) on first introduction to her 2nd DB; after a long, thoughtful pause,

"Mummy, boys can sometimes turn into girls you know"

a bit young to go into explanations about that one I felt!

[dustbucket]

DS1:mummy
DB:Yesssss
DS1 Long time ago, on a Mexico mountain
lived a boy, Angelo
DB:hmmmm, right- is he Dora the Explorer's friend?
DS1: Tsk no he had a very high family.
DBkaay, high on a mountain?
DS1:No, he ran away.

DB: Penny drops and I realise he's been listening to my mother's record collection a little to much for my liking. He was three. :-)

[no1putsbabyinthecorner]

This thread is lovely.
I went away with my sister and her 2 children, about7/8 year ago. We were on the beach and my dniece was looking at the sea and she said
"Who put the water in then? the manager"

On the same holiday she tried watermelon for he first time and said "do they put the pips in for fancy?"
bless her, still makes me laugh no and she is 14.

[Concordia]

When we had rushed in the gents toilets together as we couldn't find the ladies and both were desperate
DS (2.10) mummy, you don't have a widge
me - i don't think this is the best place to point that out

also DS
'i took my nipple with me to nursery today'

[mumof2222222222222222boys]

My two come out with all sort of stuff (fire drills and emergencies are quite common at the mo), and DS1 (4) was sooooo pleased when the security man in Next asked to see his pass on Saturday. Should explain that he goes to nursery on a military base and passes are de rigeur - but only for staff!!! DS1 has made himself a pass and wears it most places.

Ah well - I was just glad that the toddler at the pool this morning who shouted, "Daddy you've got more hairs on your willy than on your head!" wasn't one of mine

[whomovedmychocolate]

Spicemonster - I'm still reading so you may have solved this - but is it possible he wants a chocolate egg? They had some Roary ones in the shops at easter - perhaps he's always hoping it's chocolate not the chicken sort?

[5inthebed]

When ds1 was 3, I was cutting some vegetables in the kitchen, this was the conversation

DS1: What you cutting mammy
Me: Its carrots
DS1: But carrots are soft, thats hard
Me: Thats because its raw carrot
DS1: (giggling) Silly mammy, lions roar, not carrots

[idranktheteaatwork]

Not mine but my very lovely 3 yr old neighbour whilst on the potty.

Dad; dd do you need some toilet paper now?

littlegirl; nope. got a rabbit.

[GoldenSnitch]

Good suggestions Waitingforbedtime - but I have to ask - howon earth did you get Pocoyo from Boyogiog??

He does like Pocoyo so that could be it!!

[GentlyDoesIt]

DD presented me with this conundrum this morning:

Can a ball of string knock over a bottle? What happens if the bottle has food in it? What happens if the bottle is tiny/massive? What happens if the ball of string is coming undone really quickly?

I wonder if there is enough time for me to set up experiments to prove/disprove these before the next poser...