Most bizarre conversation you have had with a toddler lately?

[peppapighastakenovermylife]

This morning on the way to nursery / work we were discussing how it was not a good idea to bite your tongue

We then criticised the cows for not being up yet (were not in their usual field) and how they must not have gone to bed at their usual bed time and how they would be very tired today

As random as they are I am really going to miss these conversations when they grow up

[BlueBumedFly]

Spottybotton - WTF I almost pml at that one, you must have been totally mortified!!! What did you say???

[Filmbuffmum]

While using the GPS to locate holiday cottage:

(Creepy computer voice): "At the end of the road, bear left."

DS: (pauses to look around, then says wistfully) "Might be bear on road. Where's the bear?"

[Vamonos]

Eeeeek at the toilet ones

All of these very funny.

I had a very frustrating conversation with DD (nearly 3) the other day, as we were all loaded up on the buggy and ready to leave the house...

DD: Boogie (with air of urgency)
Me: Eh?
DD: Boogie!! (with growing air of hysteria)
Me: I don't understand what you mean DD
DD: BOOGIE!! (tears, full blown hysteria)
Me: Okaaaay - get OUT of the pram and go and find the boogie, as I REALLY can't help you with this one
DD:
Me: Look, we're late, get back in the pram
DD:

I twigged days later that she had dropped a bogey on the carpet. Which was obviously a matter of earth-shattering importance. Kinda funny in retrospect I suppose.

[YesSirICanBoogie]

DD - 2 1/2 was asking for days for 'Backepper and Fireman Sam' or black pepper and parmesan as I eventually worked out!

[edam]

designerbaby, I thought it was bad enough that ds used to call my breasts 'barbaras' (no idea where that came from, we've never even met anyone called Barbara as far as I know). But bucket is even worse!

[Ninjacat]

Took my son when little to the zoo:

DS: Mummy the Limas can talk
Mum: Sorry?
DS: The Limas can talk!
Mum: Don't be silly dear Limas cant talk
DS: Yes they can, look the sign says so. Lima's Talk: 2pm

[designerbaby]

Edam, I know - how low have I sunk. My cleavage once, firm, ripe and voluptuous, now resembles, evidently, a bucket.

I could cry, really.

[blinder]

Oh I hope this thread goes on forever!

Still crying from the string hanging out of mummy's willie! Thank you all so much!

[spicemonster]

LOL at all these.

Re the Egg Mystery: he did get Roary eggs for easter. Surely he won't remember those will he? And what is weird is that he has only just started going on about eggs. I will definitely have to investigate further. It's not raw egg for sure. It was the raw egg that made him cry

[RobynLou]

dd (2 next month) going to sleep, rolls over, eyes wide open - mummy, mummy, big question mummy.
me - what is it?
dd - boys
and she just look s at me, didn't have a clue where to start!

[verygreenlawn]

Ds1 asked me last night "mummy what's that brown stuff under your tummy?" Cue long conversation about pubic hair, after which he added "when I'm grown up I'll have hair round my private parts, except my willy will poke through the middle of it and hang down." Lovely mental image!

He also asks really searching questions about God, like "if God made heaven, where was he when he made it?" Er .... oh and also "if God is everywhere, is he on top of my head/in my tummy/in my willy ..." etc etc.

I also have very happy memories of the random conversations we used to have on the way to nursery - where's that man going? Why? Has he got a car? Why is he bald? Etc. etc.

[claireybee]

Some of these are so funny!

DS yesterday: Mummy, uhuhlo! Mummy uhuhlo! Mummy uhuhlo! Uhuhlo inna baff inna darden!

Me: There's a gruffalo in the paddling pool?

DS: Yeah, come. (takes me by the hand and leads me to the paddling pool where he stands hiding behind my legs and pointing)

Me: No it's ok ds, I don't think that's a gruffalo, it looks like a fly to me

DS: NO! Uhuhlo! uhuhlo eat you RAAAAARGH!(tries to push me into paddling pool)

[edam]

ds: 'I like my new legs. And my new hands.'

me: 'That's nice dear but I didn't know they were new.'

ds: 'Yes, now I'm six I've got new legs and new hands.'

(It was his birthday yesterday.)

[DuchessOfAvon]

Nephew (aged 4): "What eats politicians?"

Cue debate amongst adults as to whether answer is The Media or The Electorate.

[Stayingsunnygirl]

Whatever it is, can we breed more of them please??!!

[theboob]

we have been attending breast feeding coffee mornings to prepare for the birth of DC4, DS2 2 has become obbsessed with my breast's
DS2.mummy get your boobies out
me.pardon
DS2.get boobies out, my want milk
cue me trying to explain that the baby will have milk but now he has his milk in a cup etc, he asks all the time and even asked his nana, her face was priceless

[Wonderstuff]

My DD (20m) gets stuck on words, spent all afternoon at nursery last week touching everyones head saying 'hair' Everytime she hears a car she says 'noise' She has also taken to waking me up by putting her fingers in my mouth and saying 'teeth' Weirdo

PMSL at some of these - Dying to know what roary egg is.

[DownyEmerald]

I bet he can remember his roary egg at Easter. DD has spooked me often with things she remembered from months before since she was about two.

Loving it- badgers fave so far! Trying to remember dd funnies - I'm often in stitches, should write them down...

[CarrieBo]

Dd has got the idea we're all a different age, but spent ages yesterday asking 'how old is the plum, how old is the slide?' etc etc. Dh doesn't help the situation by answering with made up ages for all the inanimate objects.

[kansaswelshgirl]

We have all had colds lately.

3 yr old: Do you have a runny nose?
Dad: Not anymore
3yr old: I have a runny nose. It's a bit like a poached egg, sometimes it's runny and sometimes it's not runny

[kansaswelshgirl]

Oh, and recently, I tried to get all the toy animals off the bed - I'm sure they are breeding, there are so many of them. I put them all in a basket next to the bed and suggested DS could choose 2 or 3 per night to share the bed. He was distraught and told me, "No one should have to sleep in a basket!" By the way, I obviously failed when discussing family relationships, as all his animals, or "the guys" as he calls them, are apparently his cousins

[wuglet]

DD (3) was looking at some old photos with me the other day.
I was telling her that "this was mummy when she was a little girl" "this was grandma when she was younger" etc.
Then she saw a picture of my dad aged around 30 - he had ginger hair as does my 4 year old nephew Jamie.
She said - is that a picture of Jamie when he is big!

[Horton]

"all his animals, or "the guys" as he calls them, are apparently his cousins"

Same here, kansas. My DD's sister is Po and her brother is a small green lamb.

[treacletart]

dd (nearly 2) was really upset when the butterfly wings we bought on Friday didn't actually allow her to fly for real