Most bizarre conversation you have had with a toddler lately?

[peppapighastakenovermylife]

This morning on the way to nursery / work we were discussing how it was not a good idea to bite your tongue

We then criticised the cows for not being up yet (were not in their usual field) and how they must not have gone to bed at their usual bed time and how they would be very tired today

As random as they are I am really going to miss these conversations when they grow up

[FimbleHobbs]

What a brilliant thread!

DD was singing Incy Wincey Spider repeatedly in the car the other day. For what felt like hours.

She must have even bored herself as eventually she triumphantly declared:

Incy Wincy Spider... well ACTUALLY he had an umbrella, thats a good idea!

[gorionine]

DD4 (2 1/2)to whoever she meets for the first time "I fell over" (sad face on)

It is not often the case that she actually fell but it always gets people's attention!

She also answerd "exterminate" in true Dalek fashion to me when I was washing her after a trip to the toilet

[PinkTulips]

DS1 has had a run of splinters in his foot recently necessitating tweezer and neeedle removal techniques.

He came screaming into my bedroom the other evening sobbing 'Mommy, get the squezers and take the sprinkle out of my toe'



he also has a habit of deciding whether likes or dislikes something based on colour... for example purple bouncing castles are bad apparently but orange are alright

[gorionine]

LOL at colour influencing liking something or not! DD4 does that with plasic cups. Give her milk milk in a red one is fine, give it to her in a blue one and you will hear ""yuck, that's 'gusting!""

[HensMum]

My mum was looking after DS (21 months) at the weekend. They spent quite a lot of time "driving" in her car (it's a Smart car, just the right size for DS). She puts a CD on, DS sits behind the wheel and presses any buttons he can reach.

Anyway, we were going out on Sunday and as we went to the car, DS headed towards the driver's seat saying "I drive".
DP: no, daddy's driving
DS: No, I drive
DP: no, daddy's driving today. You're sitting in your seat.
DP picked DS up to put him in the back with DS still shouting "I driving, I drive"

I didn't think we'd be having that row for at least another 15 years!

[fluffyanimal]

DS (eating hot cross bun for breakfast, takes one bite of bottom half): Oh I can't eat this piece, it will turn me into a girl.
Me: I don't think it will darling.
DS: Yes it will. I'll eat this piece, it will turn me into an aeroplane. (Eats top half of hcb, makes zooming noises).
DS: I want more hot cross bun please.
Me: Finish that piece then (pointing to bottom half).
DS: (insistently) NO, it will turn me into a girl!
Me: OK, shall we get Daddy to have a bite and see if it will turn him into a girl?
(Daddy obliges).
DS (suspicious but grudging) OK... (eats the rest).

[Trikken]

Hensmum, we've had that with our ds too. he's three.

[waitingforbedtime]

Goldensnitch - Pocoyo because when my ds says it, it sounds very much like what your dc is saying! Hope it is that.

[Runoutofideas]

Conversation with my DD1 (4) in the car this morning....

DD1: Mummy - When you were little did Father Christmas have brown hair?

Me: No he had white hair even then.

DD1: Wow he's had white hair for ages. How come he's not dead? People with brown hair don't die, only people with white hair. See that man there (pointing at old man on pavement) he'll be dead soon... Who'll bring the presents when Father Christmas dies? Maybe we'll all have to dress up with hats and scarves and go to the North Pole ourselves.....

I didn't really know where to begin with answering that lot!

[audreyraines]

What's that mummy?
That's my diary.
What's the name of your diary mummy?
I think it's just called diary.
No it isn't.
Oh, would you like to give it a name? You can choose one.
Honey Diary.
Ok, my diary is called Honey Diary.

[daisy99divine]

DS (age 3) singing:

"Nellie the elephant back to front...."

BY the way, I am sure Roary Eggs is a fond memory of Easter eggs

[Iklboo]

DS comes up with Dr kit and starts sawing away at my tummy

Me: What are you doing mate?
DS: I'm taking your old love heart out
Me: Oh - why's that?
DS: Cos you shouted and me and got cross so you don't love me lots. So I'm giving you a new love heart
DS inserts new love heart 'stitch stitch stitch'

DS: There, now you can't shout at me any more cos you love me again

Me - feels like utter cowbag from hell

[angelene]

I had the most bizarre conversation with DD this morning:

DD: Mummy, have you got electricity?
Me: Yes we have darling
DD: Are you sure?
Me: Erm, yes, we pay money every month and the electricity comes into the house
DD: I've got some electricity
Me: Have you?
DD: Yes, so if in the month of Octover [not a typo btw], you have a power cut and you need electricity, well [shrugs] just ask me
Me: [bewildered] Oh, OK, thanks darling

I have literally no idea where that came from, but I love how she specified 'in the month of October'!

[Dophus]

DS (4) in the middle of a crowded changing room at the gym as the point of a sudden lull in background noise.

'Look mummy - my winky's gone big'

[PinkTulips]

dophus... that reminds me of dinner the other night.

ds1 was pantsless and suddenly pipes up 'mommy, somethings happening to my penis' in a rather worried tone of voice

me: 'well stop playing with it then'
ds1: 'no, want something to happen to my penis'
me:
dd: what's happening to [ds1]'s penis?
me: erm

[elvislives]

me: DD what's your name?

DD: name Justin

me: no that's his name. What's your name? Is it DD?

DD: no, Justin.

(Too much Mr Tumble )

[SwissCheese]

DS 3yrs said to me today in a shop full of people: "I don't know you, so why are you calling me?" before walking off behind a mirror...

he'll get me arrested!

[HensMum]

On the way home from nursery last night I said to DS "come on, let's get home so Mummy can have a nice cup of tea" (DS has been obsessed by tea since he was tiny, it was his first word in fact!)
DS (walking faster): Coffee!
Me: coffee for mummy?
DS: coffee for !
Me: really? How do you have your coffee, black or with milk?
DS: with milk.

When we got in, he marched straight to the kitchen and demanded coffee. I pretended to make him a cup (milk in cup, with a splash of hot water from the kettle and mimed putting a spoon of coffee in) but he was not impressed.

[daisy99divine]

Conversation this morning:

DS: why are there teeny tiny mice in the underground

Me: they live there

DS: how do they get down the escalators?

Me: they don't, they live in the tunnels

DS: Maybe they could go in a bag to keep them safe on the escalator

Me: Maybe

DS: Maybe Daddy could put them in a bag, to keep them safe, and then put them on a plane to take them on holiday

Me: Maybeeeee !

[GeeWhizz]

Said to DS 2 that Daddy would like a lie in so he started roaring like a lion!!

[giddykipper]

Last night when I was putting DS to bed:

"Don't go downstairs mummy, it's raining in our house"

And then started singing "rain rain go away come again another day"

It wasn't raining BTW

[Sycamoretreeisvile]

A punk isn't always a scrumpler. Sometimes it's someone with sticky out hair.

[ginnny]

DS2 - Why do you call Nanny 'Mum'?
Me - Because She's my Mummy.
DS2 - You can't have a Mummy, you're too big and old.

DS "Mummy why is your tummy all fat and floppy."
Me "Because I've had 2 babies and it stretched"
DS "Well maybe they left one in there still"

And today's little gem:

"How old will I be when I'm 9?"

[WibblyPigRocks]

God, this thread is brilliant - I have actually been crying with laughter as I have read it. I am also desperate to find out the answer to the 'roary eggs' conundrum.

[MmeLindt]

When DD was about 2yo she sneezed and some snot came out. She started crying and wailed, "Mama, I have bless you on my cardigan"