Guess what I've been sent...

[Kumquatsquash]

Ordered some stock for my shop from Alibaba. As soon as I opened the box I suspected something was wrong as the wraps are bigger than expected. Can you guess what's in them?

I'm incredibly pleased to report that my vulva has been viewed over 100 times and purchased 4 times. All on its first day.

I've also had some lovely messages from people on this thread. I'm so happy I made a few of you laugh during these difficult times. I will also send a thank you note to the supplier for their very fortunate cock up.

I've hidden the vulvas behind a front cover picture on Instagram as I'm not THAT brave yet! I posted another picture with a little nod to all of you in the caption. I would never have known there was a market for crystal fannies without you lot.

that's a cracking update OP. rofl.

Oh the crystal fanjos have been a success!
So happy for you OP

Dare I ask how much you are selling them for?

I'm incredibly pleased to report that my vulva has been viewed over 100 times and purchased 4 times. All on its first day.

😂😂

@Soubriquet

Dare I ask how much you are selling them for?

£22 with free UK delivery

I'd say that's a bargain for semi-precious vulva.

Very much so

“I'm incredibly pleased to report that my vulva has been viewed over 100 times and purchased 4 times. All on its first day.”

“Myvulvahasbeenviewed”?

FozzilzedFanny.

You can’t use Fozzillized Fanny , I’ll get all confused. CrystalCunt has a nice ring to it

PetrifiedPussy? SemiPreciousPoon? Gemitalia?

I love the things, seriously considering getting one for Dsis who is getting into crystals etc but doesn’t want to admit it.

I am now the proud owner of 1 real vulva and 1 semiprecious vulva
For display (not 'personal use')

If anyone else is tempted, I got the exact one I ordered, (upthread, so now a famous semiprecious vulva too)- it came really beautifully wrapped:) (and no, I'm not on commission!)

I feel like MN royalty now

I might as well just do my Xmas shopping with you now.

@Kumquatsquash congratulations on your sales.

Have you thought about what you're going to say when you go to post them and the woman/man at the Post Office asks " for safety reasons can I ask what's in the parcel?"

I dare you to remain straight-faced and just say "crystal fannies".

Mumsnet minge marketing at its finest.

@52andblue

I am now the proud owner of 1 real vulva and 1 semiprecious vulva For display (not 'personal use')

If anyone else is tempted, I got the exact one I ordered, (upthread, so now a famous semiprecious vulva too)- it came really beautifully wrapped:) (and no, I'm not on commission!)

I feel like MN royalty now

I'm so pleased you like it! When I open my crystal fanny superstore on Oxford Street I won't forget the people who supported me in the beginning

@CompleteBarstool She did ask me! I said home decor item. I go there almost every day to post boxes (of other shop items, not fanjos). I think she may have fainted if I looked her straight in the eye and said "minge".

@MimsyBorogroves

Mumsnet minge marketing at its finest.

Wonderful :-).

We're allowed to say 'minge' now instead of 'vulva'?

Minge, minge, minge, minge.......

Here's a nice little book written before minge crystals became fashionable:

www.amazon.co.uk/Little-Book-Minge-Topiary/dp/1843170515?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Ah omg I have now received my semi precious fanny.
I think it looks better than my actual fanny, but I haven't looked at mine for a very long time.
I admit I forgot I ordered it (menopause) and I was thinking where has this beautifully wrapped parcel come from. Its sooo pretty.

@Gurufloof
which colour did you choose?

The blue, is it lapis lazuli? It's got gold running through it, very pretty.

Me too! It's lovely :)

Who knew this would be the hot home decor trend of 2021?

I can see a 'Daily Fail' headlline now...