Guess what I've been sent...

[Kumquatsquash]

Ordered some stock for my shop from Alibaba. As soon as I opened the box I suspected something was wrong as the wraps are bigger than expected. Can you guess what's in them?

Ok own up, which one of you just bought a vulva? 😂😂

If the buyer is here, thank you so much! 🙏

Here is my insta for a pp:

www.instagram.com/Bohemia_UK

I'll be name changing after this!

"Ok own up, which one of you just bought a vulva? 😂😂"

I reckon it was @mnhq

...

Love this thread, it has made my day im sitting cackling. thanks op!

I knew yoni was going to be in there somewhere. I wonder what happened to Brian ?

You ordered carved rock dildos and they sent fannies

I've just spat my coffee across my laptop !
Classics nomination ?

OP I completely love how you have posed them on your Instagram shop

@Gotthetshirt23

You ordered carved rock dildos and they sent fannies

I've just spat my coffee across my laptop !
Classics nomination ?

It's been nominated and is going before the classics nomination committee

Is anyone else imagining the committee at a desk inspecting the vulvas they have secretly bought?

OP confess- when you opened them did you think "omg I've arrived I'm finally getting into classics"?

Is anyone else imagining the committee at a desk inspecting the vulvas they have secretly bought?

No, but I am imagining the production line at the factory where they're made.
"So... what did you do at work today darling?"
"Er..."

I can’t see the Insta fannies 😩

@Blueraccoon

Yoni Eggs are carved from crystals into the shape of eggs. They are inserted into the vagina for up to 12 hours per day for the purpose of strengthening the vaginal muscles, connecting with your Sacred femininity, and toning the pelvic floor.

But what if your pelvic floor isn’t up to it? Do you end up laying an egg in the middle of Sainsbury’s?

Oh Jesus Christ I've just remembered that my parents had several quartz/ onyx eggs tastefully arranged as ornaments in the late 70's/ Early 80's.

Someone pass the mind bleach if you'd be so kind.

OP please don't change your user name, I think it would be fun that you can be immortalised on MN as the poonani poster or some such.

I came on this thread. Rolled my eyes and thanked the Lord for the "see all" feature. I was not expecting that.

Marvellous.

Classics indeed

@coldsunnydays

What on earth did you type into google?

Crystal cunt, presumably.

Crystal Cunt sounds like some evil female in the Marvel Universe.

God knows what her superpower is, but I suspect men will end up emasculated if they tangle with her.

I am CRYSTAL CUNT!!! Mwah hahahaha

I also did see all, now reading back and crying at burst pasty and track my minge

I can’t see the Insta fannies

Copy and paste the etsy link on there

It's the most recent insta post but you need to scroll there's a few photos on that one post. OP presumably didn't make it too obvious for her DGrandmother

Labias lazuli

As a post-menopausal woman, I can assure you a fossilized fanny is no laughing matter.

Much

Crystal Cunt sounds like some evil female in the Marvel Universe.

She won't be accidentally laying an egg in Sainsbury's that's for sure. Pelvic floor of quartz.

@SoupDragon

Crystal Cunt sounds like some evil female in the Marvel Universe.

She won't be accidentally laying an egg in Sainsbury's that's for sure. Pelvic floor of quartz.

Or a bad VHS porn spoof of an Indiana Jones film

Or a bad VHS porn spoof of an Indiana Jones film

In The Anna Jones and her Crystal Cunt?

@SoupDragon

Or a bad VHS porn spoof of an Indiana Jones film

In The Anna Jones and her Crystal Cunt?