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Original poster

DH's obsession or whatever. It's not normal is it.. what should I do?

510 replies

NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 19:25

Today there was a mix up at work with my shifts and I came home from work only 45 minutes after I'd left.

I found my DH of 7 years naked on the bed surrounded by all the stainless steel kicten implements that we possess and rubbing a knife sharpener gently up and down an intimate area of his body. He was very aroused. He even had pot pourii candles burning and soft lighting.

I knew something was amiss as soon as I came in because it was so quiet and I just had this intinct but I had been putting the bin out for tomorrow so came in through the conservatory and he didn't hear. I just opened the bedroom door (we live in a bungalow) and there he was.

I know its not another woman but what do I do about this. And the softlighting and stuff; he hasn't made that much effort with me for years.

I don't know what to do. Has anyone ever heard on this? A knife sharpener for goodness sake. I feel sick. Have obviously changed my name for this.

OP posts:
Doodledootoo · 19/08/2007 21:07

Message withdrawn

Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 21:08

Please help me think what to say to him if I go in. His email explained nothing really. I mean the marigolds did NOT protect the Lakeland kitchen ware at all did it. And the german. I should of known. It was very gutteral but I thought that was just because he was in the throes of passion.

OP posts:
alucard · 19/08/2007 21:08

Am I slovenly because I have semen on my bedding?

KaySamuels · 19/08/2007 21:09

You have been in the garage almost 2 hours now NS, you can't stay there all night, go in and talk to him.

What do you want, do you want patch things up and try to understand each other's needs and points of view? You do need to have a good talk either way, sounds like you need to be open and very honest with each other.

SML that's one hell of a story!

Cappuccino · 19/08/2007 21:09

'I am appalled that you would value our marriage so little as to dirty the kitchen utensils'?

TheLadyEvenstar · 19/08/2007 21:09

Throw for when he is not planning on ejaculating in me.........

ROFLMAO

thought that was what washing machines were for washing the stains off.....

OHHHHHH Hang on DP has just come into living room to tell me he is off to bed with the stainless steel Gravy Boat i just bought.........OMG what am I to do?????????

katylui1 · 19/08/2007 21:09

Go in and let him do the talking. You don't have to say anything... Then get him to come a talk to us...

specialmagiclady · 19/08/2007 21:10

So I pick up the nearest pint of beer and chuck it over his head.

At which point my Mother walks into the room.

In her best Miss Jean Brodie voice she says, "Dear, you really shouldn't throw pints of beer over officers from the Irish Guards".

And I replied "Mother, he is NOT a gentleman".

The end.

Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 21:10

I am a bit cold.

OP posts:
Doodledootoo · 19/08/2007 21:10

Message withdrawn

weebleswobble · 19/08/2007 21:10

Follow him up with the slotted spoon!

FunkyGlassSlipper · 19/08/2007 21:11

Boom, Boom, Special

KaySamuels · 19/08/2007 21:11

What do you want to say to him?
I would start with how long has this been going on, why didn't you tell me, am I still attractive to you, why are you making more of an effort with our kitchen ware than me, your DW.....and so on.

policywonk · 19/08/2007 21:11

SML - now that is a punchline.

Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 21:11

Personally although its very funny I think SML's story it less beleiveable. I mean mine is happening now! Why would I make up that my husband likes to shag the contents of my kitchen? For what purpose? Only a very depraved mind could think that up surely..

OP posts:
Theclosetpagan · 19/08/2007 21:13

..or a very creative and funny one NS.

katylui1 · 19/08/2007 21:13

...here it comes...

Cappuccino · 19/08/2007 21:13

are you cold poor love in the garage?

surely the Merc has heated seats

weebleswobble · 19/08/2007 21:13

What happened to the shoes Special?

specialmagiclady · 19/08/2007 21:14

NS, my story is 100% true, but after 20 years of telling it's getting smooth like a well-worn pebble. Yours is still all spiky and painful.

Get in there and talk to him about it. I ony told my story to keep people busy while you went in and thrashed this out.

It's only funny to us because it's not happening to us. And because we know the brand name of all the offending articles.

(By the way, are Moby kitchens any good, I'm thinking of getting mine done.)

Cappuccino · 19/08/2007 21:15

it would seem that Moby Kitchens are very good indeed

they can turn a man's head

Doodledootoo · 19/08/2007 21:16

Message withdrawn

weebleswobble · 19/08/2007 21:16

Make sure they have easy to wipe clean surfaces.

Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 21:16

He never wears pyjamas. I am a bit worried. he only had his piles done 5 weeks ago.

I thought it was french Doodle. I am not good with languages. He told me it was german in the email. He has some gall don;t you think. It was something like "Oh see rees volles" or something over and over again. And then just before he.. ejaculated, "wushun zoo" or something. I wish I could get these details out of my head. And now someone will speak german and tell me what terrible things he was grunting.

OP posts:
specialmagiclady · 19/08/2007 21:17

BTW, Shoes and bolero never recovered. Eye okay. And I okay too...

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