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Original poster

DH's obsession or whatever. It's not normal is it.. what should I do?

510 replies

NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 19:25

Today there was a mix up at work with my shifts and I came home from work only 45 minutes after I'd left.

I found my DH of 7 years naked on the bed surrounded by all the stainless steel kicten implements that we possess and rubbing a knife sharpener gently up and down an intimate area of his body. He was very aroused. He even had pot pourii candles burning and soft lighting.

I knew something was amiss as soon as I came in because it was so quiet and I just had this intinct but I had been putting the bin out for tomorrow so came in through the conservatory and he didn't hear. I just opened the bedroom door (we live in a bungalow) and there he was.

I know its not another woman but what do I do about this. And the softlighting and stuff; he hasn't made that much effort with me for years.

I don't know what to do. Has anyone ever heard on this? A knife sharpener for goodness sake. I feel sick. Have obviously changed my name for this.

OP posts:
Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 19:40

Could you just give me an idea of what to say to him. Am trying to get up the courage. I cant sit here all night

OP posts:
katylui1 · 19/08/2007 19:42

OK, very quickly (turned it off in haste as really not my thing!) googled fetish, knife. Apparently, he is not alone.

This is OK. The only thing is that he should have shared it with you. Remember the Friends episode with the sharks and Chandler? OK so it wasn't true - but you should talk to him about it!
Maybe tell him, you don't mind, but you don't want to play 2nd fiddle to the Sabatier...

ELR · 19/08/2007 19:42

maybe it was the first time he had done it and gathered a load of utensils not knowing what would work, a knife steel is not that sharp, not saying this is normal but maybe it is the first time he has done this and thats why he had all the utensils around him. People use all sorts of different things to rub against themselves, kitchen stuff is just not the usual stuff

CountessDracula · 19/08/2007 19:43

you could say something along the lines of

Would you mind awfully not shagging the kitchen implements as I have to cook with them and it isn't terribly hygenic.

Doodledootoo · 19/08/2007 19:43

Message withdrawn

Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 19:43

I feel like leaving him to be honest.

I may email him. I don't want to see the kitchen ware. I can't face it.

Now I remembering times that things had been in the dishwasher that I knew I hadn't used. And only cooks. But I never thought; I mean you wouldn't would you.

How do you get off on a saucepan? Something is very wrong isnt it

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 19/08/2007 19:44

or maybe you could offer to join in
I mean it's no worse than sex toys is it? If that#s what turns him on

At least it's not sheeps arses or something!

katylui1 · 19/08/2007 19:44

And remember that some things are great fun when shared, but others are better on your own...
You should let him know that you're shocked, but try not to make him feel bad about it as he'll just resent you...(trying hard to avoid the obligatory puns here...)

Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 19:44

He was behaving so intimately with that knife sharperner. I feel strange and sort of jealous. He was handling it so gently.

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 19/08/2007 19:45

well you would wouldn't you
could do some damage otherwise

Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 19:46

But I am shocked. And I don't want to share me bed with pans and stuff even though I loved it all when I bought it from Lakeland last year.

OP posts:
Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 19:46

He did have a cheese grater there And a milk pan. And the whole knife block. Even a garlic press. Its all coming back to me in horrid flashbacks

OP posts:
beansprout · 19/08/2007 19:47

It's not the saucepan per se, it's probably because it's cold, because he likes the "threat" of the knife, could be all sorts of things. But you won't know if you just stay disgusted.

How about, "can we talk about this?" as an opening line?(!)

katylui1 · 19/08/2007 19:47

OH god...this will be OK. Maybe you could suggest buying a bedroom set...I am concerned about hygiene. You have to talk to him. This is OK, there are a lot of worse things you could have found...

CountessDracula · 19/08/2007 19:47

Why are you shocked exactly

is it that he likes stainless steel and finds it arousing

or that he makes an effort for it and not for you?

ELR · 19/08/2007 19:47

just ask him why and how long he is obviously gonna be super embarrassed, try and make a little joke of it and try not to think of cooking with them. Good luck

Doodledootoo · 19/08/2007 19:48

Message withdrawn

katylui1 · 19/08/2007 19:48

Remember, you're shocked, but he must be mortified - he has probably dreaded this moment for ages...

Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 19:48

Well I thought our love life was ok. But clearly I am not what turns him on. I am warm and human not cold and metallic.

I have not seen him with an erection that big in years

OP posts:
Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 19:50

Wouldn't YOU be shocked CountessDracula if you came upon your husband making love to the contents of your kitchen????? In YOUR bed? With soft lighting and sweet smells. And a big stonking hard on?

I must be very repressed is all I can think

OP posts:
Doodledootoo · 19/08/2007 19:51

Message withdrawn

Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 19:52

My parental control blocked that I'm afraid. Thank God actually. Although I do appreciate the help.

OP posts:
alucard · 19/08/2007 19:52

pls don't be jealous of a knife sharpener. People have all sorts of fettishs and he was probably too embarrased to share this with you. YANBU to be miffed that he doesn't make that sort of effort with you though.

beansprout · 19/08/2007 19:52

It's just something that turns him on, not a crime. You sound like the repressed one, tbh. He still fancies you, he just likes this as well!

pipsqueeke · 19/08/2007 19:53

not repressed - he jsut likes the unusual stuff.

agree with saying 'we need to talk about this' and also you should ahve a 2nd set for him - i'm sorry to say but I wouldn't cook on anything which had been around said parts no matter how much they'd been cleaned/washed/bleached etc.

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