DH's obsession or whatever. It's not normal is it.. what should I do?

[NewSchmooo]

Today there was a mix up at work with my shifts and I came home from work only 45 minutes after I'd left.

I found my DH of 7 years naked on the bed surrounded by all the stainless steel kicten implements that we possess and rubbing a knife sharpener gently up and down an intimate area of his body. He was very aroused. He even had pot pourii candles burning and soft lighting.

I knew something was amiss as soon as I came in because it was so quiet and I just had this intinct but I had been putting the bin out for tomorrow so came in through the conservatory and he didn't hear. I just opened the bedroom door (we live in a bungalow) and there he was.

I know its not another woman but what do I do about this. And the softlighting and stuff; he hasn't made that much effort with me for years.

I don't know what to do. Has anyone ever heard on this? A knife sharpener for goodness sake. I feel sick. Have obviously changed my name for this.

Well as with the Lakeland and Gerber merhcandise, I DID like my mopy kitchen. But the appeal as kind of worn off now.

I think you have the perfect opportunity to say "I need a new kitchen" NS.

'What was he grunting' sam as asking 'well, was she good, how good?'

Hmm... I can see that it would.

GPWM re wipe-able surfaces.

can soemone start a thread abotu ppl using throw to protect their bedocvers whilst fucking? am intrigued!.. never occured to me to use one, but blardy good idea!

That was what he was grunting Katy????

Who's "she" - the garlic press????

But wouldn't a throw be more difficult to wash than a fitted sheet? Sorry to go on about it but I'm feeling a bit sluttish (what sluttish used to mean-in edwardian times)

Thats IT girls.. I'm going in.. I will NOT be replaced by a garlic press, a milk pan and a knife sharpener. I just won't.

I am going in to speak to him now. How DARE he ask "her" if she is good!

Oh I am so angry

If he doesn't admit "she" is the garlic press, hit him with the nut crackers. Garlic presses have never ever been known to be male!

Right i best go and have a bath lol hopefully will lessen the tightness in belly from all this laughing....

Sorry NS i dont mean to laugh.....Honestly...

My older couin had a partner once who could only get off while wearingm arigolds, hoovering and being on a phone chat line on his mobile lololololololol

YOU MUST BUY ONE OF THESE IT WILL TOTURE HIM!!!!

But isn't the garlic press more of an addition than a replacement? He must still do it with you because you have that nice throw that your mother got in Mexico.

If my husband had been lacklustre in the tadger department and i walked in to him knife-sharpening his knob into a splendid erection, i'd jump on it. and if he likes cold things, there's always ice cubes and cyberman outfits.

Alucard....the throw isn't a well know brand

dabbles

God No THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!!!!!

What I meant was that you don't need to know what he was grunting cos that's the same as asking 'was she any good'!!!!!!!

Now I know you are taking the piss.

I have been glued for hours, supping the wine and am too pissed to comprehend anymore!!

I didn't say it was a well known brand. I said it was from Mexico

Yes, but if it's not a well known brand he probably won't do it on it

oh come on! a Stanless steel chastity belt! priceless....

Quick, get her back!!!!!

He was just saying 'wushun zoo!!! look!

And that's OK, right?..

You go girl - go and talk to him!

NS has gone in! I wonder what she'll say..? Hope she returns to the garage soon, I can't be left in suspense all night. Dp is intrigued too