DH's obsession or whatever. It's not normal is it.. what should I do?

[NewSchmooo]

Today there was a mix up at work with my shifts and I came home from work only 45 minutes after I'd left.

I found my DH of 7 years naked on the bed surrounded by all the stainless steel kicten implements that we possess and rubbing a knife sharpener gently up and down an intimate area of his body. He was very aroused. He even had pot pourii candles burning and soft lighting.

I knew something was amiss as soon as I came in because it was so quiet and I just had this intinct but I had been putting the bin out for tomorrow so came in through the conservatory and he didn't hear. I just opened the bedroom door (we live in a bungalow) and there he was.

I know its not another woman but what do I do about this. And the softlighting and stuff; he hasn't made that much effort with me for years.

I don't know what to do. Has anyone ever heard on this? A knife sharpener for goodness sake. I feel sick. Have obviously changed my name for this.

I read part of this last night and have just finished reading it. I was almost hysterical reading it last night (family thought I had finally cracked) - thanks for a really, really good laugh!

No fear of that Fio In reality I don't give a monkey's what DH does with the contents of the kitchen as long as the lovely meals keep arriving! I am the original male chauvinist in female form

Late post. Hope all is now well NewSchmoo. You guys are funny fuckers. I am a recent MN convert and am working my way through the 'classic' sections. Very relieved to find people like me..... I was a member of babycentre, but all they seem to do is sigh and stroke - no drunken slatternly behaviour.

This thread was the first "troll" i was aware of reading - i have probably been sucked in by loads without realising. Yes, very funny and needs to be kept up.

I was just thinking, you could probably get your hubby an appearance on Eurotrash - i do miss that, Sexetera is a poor substitute.

Me too, LucyEllensMummy.
Me and dh sat on the sofa with tears of laughter streaming down our faces.

Oh, the memories!

It took me two hours to settle dd and now I have woken her up by snorting tea over her. And DH wants to know what's funny .. Brilliant!

the throw for spunking on was a master stroke.

my ex's parents had a beer mat (classy) that they kept under a pillow for the same reason.

we found it after getting hot and heavy on their bed at a house party.

Beer mat!

Darling! The Coaster!

Think it was Tennants- one of those small towelling ones.

It was, em, quite crispy

Sorry, - reviving again because I lurve this thread and MN is a bit slow atm.

Gawd yes I loved this thread

lol

THIS IS A WIND UP !!!!

If not, you need to get help fast for your hubby 'cause trying to shag a knife sharpener is not normal Also, I would be really scared at his choice of 'weaponry'

erm I CANDOTHAT you are v clever to have spotted that

pmsl

I love the serious reply to a donkeys old thread

Made you look ........

maybe we should get all the oldie trolls onto active convos tonight?