Oooo I received an anonymous letter this morning...from THE VILLAGERS 😬

[FlybirdFly]

Will post a pic later but need to redact info first.

An A4 page complaining about rubbish outside my house, that they’ve been picking it up for months, I have a responsibility to secure my rubbish and I have two weeks to get 2/3 wheelie bins or “measures will be taken”

It’s actually quite polite tbf if you ignore the subtle threat

Only problem is....it isn’t my fucking rubbish! We locked the gate to the field a few months ago and everyone now flytips outside the farm instead (by everyone I mean a few wankers) usually black bags that have missed the bin men/women. They use to chuck them on our farm bonfire but as the gate is locked they throw them on the bondary of my property. My rubbish is kept on my property until bin day.

Unfortunately they’ve missed all the signs saying we have CCTV so I’ll be having a look to see if I can see any pitchforks and angry villagers when I get back from the school run

Is she going round to ask her how you spell vicinity?

KeepServingTheDrinks I love this

@PattiStanger I am very English, but I live in the West Country.....

im in shock at the progress! Love the updates, its addictive

a failed victoria sponge to the back of the head

I reaallllly thought it was a man !!!

This thread has renewed my faith in Mumsnet.
And it needs to go in Classics.

Wow wow, 38 pages to find out it could be the WI lady letter writing, and a cheeky farm worker

Brilliant thread.

Suggest a Scrabble night with the WI. Pretend to get to the end of your tether and ask everyone what you can spell with F-A-S-I-N-A-T and an E.

Please start a new thread. I'm worried this one will fill up and disappear before I get to the end! (Goes back, I've got to the vent diagram.....)

@KeepServingTheDrinks that is a genius ending to the fly tipping CF-WI saga

Great detecting OP!

There was a problem with fly tipping at the end of our lane. The local council put up signs and CCTV cameras. The cameras were stolen.

I knew it would be a woman! Bet she has OCD too.

OCD WI woman with the black bic biro in the farmhouse style house lane

All is quiet on the farm. Washing basket is still there. CCTV is normal. I will report back once VillageLady has been to see WILady.

Another small clue, I thought lane name was misspelled but VillageLady said it’s the olde worlde spelling of the lane!

I really really want to buy a new sign for the house which says “Farm House Style House”. It has a certain ring to it

Oooh...why don't you get yourself to the next WI meeting and suggest they do a sign-making course for their next guest event... you could go along and DIY your own sign....or better still ask sign-writing expert to use “Farm House Style House” for the demo at the start of the class! And sit back and admire the colour changing faces around you

Ah, so the finger must point towards the olde worlde WI lady then?!

Hopefully VillageLady won't die from an arsenic laced iced bun given to her by WILady, once WILady knows you're on to her?!

... and I bet Julia's kicking herself that she's missing all the intrigue - just because she refused to take it seriously!

But is the WIAnonymousWriter the sort who knows words like "fasinate"? Does she like speaking in alternatives? "Good morning/afternoon! .... oh I'm fine/well/unwell thanks for asking/requesting..." and so on..... Loong conversations while she's litter picking.

Does she have a cat?

Does she like speaking in alternatives?

I bloody luffs you lot and your theories! Mumsnet Meet up at the village fete would be fantabulous. We could sit in the general fascinate of the beer tent and discuss our theories on the lives of the villagers.

Will VillageLady tell WILady that rubbish has been dumped by FarmMan and BlueCarDriver, and that it's not coming from TheFarmhouseStyleHouse?

Oh, and FlybirdFly, you have less than 50 posts left, you need to start a new thread and link it here before it fills up and we lose you!