Oooo I received an anonymous letter this morning...from THE VILLAGERS 😬

[FlybirdFly]

Will post a pic later but need to redact info first.

An A4 page complaining about rubbish outside my house, that they’ve been picking it up for months, I have a responsibility to secure my rubbish and I have two weeks to get 2/3 wheelie bins or “measures will be taken”

It’s actually quite polite tbf if you ignore the subtle threat

Only problem is....it isn’t my fucking rubbish! We locked the gate to the field a few months ago and everyone now flytips outside the farm instead (by everyone I mean a few wankers) usually black bags that have missed the bin men/women. They use to chuck them on our farm bonfire but as the gate is locked they throw them on the bondary of my property. My rubbish is kept on my property until bin day.

Unfortunately they’ve missed all the signs saying we have CCTV so I’ll be having a look to see if I can see any pitchforks and angry villagers when I get back from the school run

Toothpaste is mildly abrasive. Cleans all sorts.

Thanks, I never thought of using it on anything else

We rent a unit similar to you describe and have to pay Biffa a small fortune to take our waste i would guess thats why he's fly tipping with your rubbish.

Glad you have found the culprit. How are you going to deal with it?
As has been suggested, it does sound as though he may be living in the unit if you're seeing toothpaste and 'non-farm' type waste in the bins.

Just to add to the mix - that style of writing looks as though it may belong to an American male. Some of the letters look stylised. I wonder if the writer is dyslexic or is just incredibly bad at spelling. (BTW, I did make reference to 'fasinate' as 'vicinity' too!)

I don't think he's the only culprit though, Marklah. I think the OP said there was some other rubbish left at some point yesterday afternoon? And then they caught the unit renter on the CCTV later on. But at least they've got one person. Hopefully the farmer will have a word with him. I suppose once there's one flytipper, then others join in as well?

OP It may not be your CCTV you are seeing... all part of a huge ploy fuck up DM Link

Why have I only just seen this? 😄 nearly 900 posts to catch up!
Gets oneself comfortable! Hands round Hob nobs!

This has cheered me up no end!!!

We once had an anonymous note through the door to say that ‘the street’ had held a meeting and decided everyone would hence forth have access to our side gate and garden so that they could go out our back gate and access the river path behind our house!

To clarify we have a very scenic river that dog walkers and the general community walk along. While our back gate does mean we can get to it quickly everyone else in our street can just walk the extra two minutes round the houses and join onto it directly! Or they could install their own bloody back gate as we had done?!!

I actually know who sent our anon note as they sent us a Christmas letter too 😂

gilliad there is seemingly no end to other people's cheeky fuckery.

How did you respond to that Gilliad?

I love the idea that ‘the street’ decided that trespassing on your property is fine if enough people decide to do it.

Maybe Gilliad, having recognised the hand writing from the anon letter and the subsequent Christmas card, wrote a PS on her own Xmas card saying "install your own gate"?!

Re the letter writer: it is clearly someone who watches a lot of television (probably crime dramas, hence use of 'vicinity') but never reads a book or newspaper (hence use of fasinate).

Most elderly people had the benefit of excellent education and would be unlikely to make this slip. It's more likely someone of around 35...(gives side eye to local Facebook selling page, where words are so severely misused it hurts).

Have you got hold of him yet?

Have you got hold of him yet?

Any Germans in your village? Just going with the spelling of "hause" and "f" rather than "v" on vicinity (although to be fair, Germans tend to have quite cursive handwriting and speak/write better English than most English people I know....)

OP - are you sure it's dog poo?

Just wondering if the man craps in a bag, and cleans his teeth when he's using the unit at the farm? Then doesn't want it associated with his business so dumps it outside your place?

Having read other toilet-related threads today, I have decided that there's no end to how bizarre some people are in their toileting habits.

I think the writing on the envelope looks like an older person's

Are you English Anotheroriginalusername? If so you must have some weird friends if they can't speak English as well as German people

I reckon it was written by a woman in her early 20s, whose family and friends all think that she's 'the clever one' (she thinks so too). I reckon she and her fella/hubby have very high expectations now that they've moved into a brand new house on a new estate. They think they're going up in the world, and will be policing the fasinate for years to come.

The guy who owns the unit will get fed up with their jumped up airs and graces and shame them one day at a public Council meeting where they will have spent the entire 3.5hours arguing with every point to show everyone how clever they are.

They will do a midnight flit and no one will think of them again.

Updates updates updates so many updates!!

Farm rental man says dog poo and toothpaste doesn’t belong to him and opened the bag which does belong to him, Costa cups/ginsters/newspapers. So it was definitely him who dumped the loose rubbish the other day. Tore a strip off him and said take your bloody rubbish home. He swears blind he only dumps it on a wed night as he knows the bin men come on a Thursday.

CCTV catches a blue car drive past and the passenger flings a black bag out as they go past. Too fast to catch a screenshot of it or work out who it is, bloody infuriating!

Biggest update is that a lady from the village came round and asked to see the note (village gossip at force). She read the whole thing and said she thinks she knows who it is, a woman from the WI who does volunteer litter picks around the village and has form for anonymous letters

She took a photocopy and is taking it to her house to ask her. Bin men came this morning and took everything except the laundry basket. I’m leaving it there for a while in the hope of speeding up the two week measures!

a woman from the WI who does volunteer litter picks around the village and has form for anonymous letters

Ooh, that's profiling at FBI level. She seems like a British Clarice Starling.

It’s all going on!

Rubs hands with glee at news of possible Calendar Girls culprit

...or should that be