MIL and her picnic hamster

[insancerre]

On a visit to MIL for her birthday
She told us SIL has bought BIL a picnic hamster as a present
After several silent moments during which DH and I tried desperately hard to contain ourselves and not look at each other, she finally announced it was in fact, a picnic hamper
DH calmly said " a hamster is a small, furry creature"

It's comedy gold here
Any good MILisms where you are?

Diddl
No she wasn't joking

Hmm, is a Christmas moose maybe a thing then? I have no more heard of a Christmas moose than a Christmas Elk or a Christmas Beaver or any other North American creature?!

My Grandma asked my brother if he was having a sit down meal at his wedding or a bouffant

I think the nan calling digestive biscuits suggestive biscuits must have been saying that as a joke. Even dear old nans have a sense of humour. I call them that too and I'm ancient.

Not quite the same but a friend of mine has a picnic skinny pig...her pet skinny pig who she takes out and about all over the place & has a picnic with.

She is quite eccentric tbf.

My dear old nan used to say she wanted a 'suggestive' biscuit.. she meant digestive!

I say this too on purpose - harking back to the old advert on TV with Eric Idle.

No it's pillocks

I agree she could have meant pillocks but both would be correct depending on context.

Dis aged five came home from school and announced he'd learned all about contraception. I 😳 and asked what had he been told; his reply was that it 'ran down the windows '.
Thankfully he meant condensation.....

My Dad likes to tell me how hungry his dog is - “he woofed his dinner down”
I think he means wolfed

My MIL absolutely loves Pot Purée

I woulda thought that people were standing around like pillocks

We were!

So it was a while before very mild-mannered colleague had it explained to her just what she'd said to the boss.

MIL served gooseberry crumble. She'd forgotten to add sugar, so warned us that it would be "tarty".

I bet it was.

Ex mil once went into a hairdressers and asked for a blow job ... meaning blow dry of course

MIL, who thought she was extremely posh and clever but was actually thick as pig shit said her and FIL had a wonderful meal of octopus testicles in Greece.

Just one of many of her Mrs Malapropisms. She also thought chimneys were ‘chimleys’ and wardrobes were ‘wardroves’. Thick. As. But would get incredibly arsey if anyone sniggered.

She couldn’t be told though, the raging narcissist was never wrong!

Remember Hoffnung?

There is a French widow in every bedroom offering delightful prospects

My grandmother once went to stay with relatives in Canada. When she came back she told us all about the condom they lived in.

Hamster picnic

My Nan once said that she’d been watching ‘all the soldiers talking about deep throat’ on the news.

My Mum and I pissed ourselves laughing, and when we could actually speak again, informed her that she meant ‘deep cut,’ as in the ‘Deep Cut’ barracks.

I thought this thread was about actual picnic hamsters, how disappointing.

Hivemind, Penfold!

A woman in my office complained about the GDPR emails filling up her box.

Deep Throat was also the name of an informant in the Watergate Scandal wasn't it?

My DS in petshop to actual hamsters "hello
lttle monsters!"

Any reason why it can’t just be funny things people say? My ds asked for a hocolate chobnob yesterday, but he’s not a mil......