MIL and her picnic hamster

[insancerre]

On a visit to MIL for her birthday
She told us SIL has bought BIL a picnic hamster as a present
After several silent moments during which DH and I tried desperately hard to contain ourselves and not look at each other, she finally announced it was in fact, a picnic hamper
DH calmly said " a hamster is a small, furry creature"

It's comedy gold here
Any good MILisms where you are?

My dear old nan used to say she wanted a 'suggestive' biscuit.. she meant digestive!

Not MIL, but I remember the horrified look on all our faces when my dad was telling us he'd been watching hardcore porn on the tv. Then the penny dropped that it was Hardcore Pawn...about a pawn shop.

Loving these

Especially the hole dug by the KGB
Bet MI5 are looking into it!

My delightful, if slightly unworldly, mother in law, many years ago got a bit muddled about the name of a local Chinese restaurant when visiting us. We had booked to go to the Pak Fook, so at 7 o'clock she merrily asked "Are we all set for the Fuck Pooh?" We hadn't the heart to explain.

No ScottishPlay she's not... are Christmas Moose a thing in Scotland?! This one looks an awful lot like a reindeer.

No picnic should be without a hamster.

Years ago my 4 yr old was riding/sitting on my old pony and the stirrup leathers were too long and my mum was telling everyone he was too small for jockey straps.

My friend was telling us about her holiday scare where she was standing in the sea and an octopus wrapped its testicles round her legs.

This may out me, but ds once put a post on face ache stating that there was nothing as fabulous as the smell of a fresh shit on the bed! He meant sheet!

A friend of a relative once said she wanted to go see some new film that had Sandra Bollock in. Needless to say we don’t call that actress by her proper name anymore.

confused

I don't get why jam would make a MiL wet
I don't get what's wrong with a Christmas moose
I woulda thought that people were standing around like pillocks

my Gran told me that she had new neighbours and she "thought they might be Lebanons" (Lesbians).

My late MIL was visited by the Jemima's Witnesses

My dad when he hears a police helicopter always says "there's the helicopter hoovering above us"

My gran was telling us about a friend's new man. Friend told her that he's impotent.
Gran said "oh he's always been very polite to me"

Same gran described her neighbour's garden as being "a right old meringue", as they had cats, dogs, bunnies, lots of wild birds and a visiting fox.

A woman my parents knew used to talk about compensation running down windows and when the rain was slowing down it was debating.

When dd was 3 or perhaps just turned 4, I told her we were going to Marks and Spencer. She was rather upset when we got there. She thought we were going to see her baby cousin as that’s where he lives. She was most insistent despite my telling her he lived with his parents, one of whom is named Mark.

A friend of my mum’s went to the post office to ask for an affix stamp. Because the pre-addressed envelope she had been sent said “affix stamp here”.

Not MIL, but two from me. My brother when he was a wee one crying in an Italian restaurant because he didn't want to eat pillows. Ravioli.

Me, after a brain haemorrhage (which I can't spell). Friends the next morning asked me what I'd had for breakfast and I said, "wool in gravy". I'd had cornflakes. A couple of months later we were driving along a country lane, the sort where you have trees meeting in the middle to make a hollow. I said "Ooh, it's just like milky hollow". and yes, sleepy hollow is forever milky hollow now.

My mum bought her new kitchen from the FBI.

My mum once told me that DS was 'getting too big for his strap-on'. SIL and I were in fits of giggles for the rest of dinner (Mum meant his reins btw.)

When my mother was looking for a new car, she told us she was going to test drive a Honda Jizz.

I can't help thinking that some of these were said jokingly?

So in the op, the MIL knew that it was hamper & presumably didn't need to be told what a hamster is?

Someones BIL was angry because he also didn't know to ask for anti inflammatories?

I'm an old gimmer, so remember my mum's late neighbour who was terribly proud of her new, stimulated fur coat

And an ex always referred to "destructions" instead of instructions ... a word which has stuck, to the confusion of more workmen than I care to remember

Some years ago my mum informed myself and grandchildren that she would like a dildo in the sitting room, she meant a dado. Some very hysterical grandchildren