MIL and her picnic hamster

[insancerre]

On a visit to MIL for her birthday
She told us SIL has bought BIL a picnic hamster as a present
After several silent moments during which DH and I tried desperately hard to contain ourselves and not look at each other, she finally announced it was in fact, a picnic hamper
DH calmly said " a hamster is a small, furry creature"

It's comedy gold here
Any good MILisms where you are?

There was the time that MIL pranged her car on a bollock.

Ha ha ha! Love it!

Ohmygod
Sounds painful
😂

My colleague who asked why we were standing around like pillocks.

English was her third language, and she meant to say "pillars".

Picnic hamster is brilliant.

I'm liking picnic hamster, small versions in packs of eight, like picnic scotch eggs or picnic sausage rolls. You'd need a lot of them for a BBQ though, and what sides to serve with them?

BIL3 had really bad backache so MIL told him to go to the chemist and ask for some anti flammables. He was fuming when he got back and told her he'd been asked if he meant anti inflammatories.

Love picnic hamster! My mum once told me my dad had hired a KGB to dig a hole...

A friends mother famously told everyone they were having a Falcon for Christmas.
Turned out to be a Capon...

Visions of spatchcocked hamster. Reminds me of a dinner party dish I did using quail. It actually just made me feel rather sad, like we were eating a load of pet budgies.

Anyone else had visions of some unfortunate hamster between two slices of bread?

My MIL's homemade jam makes her wet.

I was thinking picnic hamster was someone who gorges on a picnic so much that they end filling their cheeks....

Not a MILism but...

As a child I had a friend over for a sleepover. We had bagels for breakfast the next day which she'd never had before. Her mum came to collect her.

Friend greeted the mum with - "It's so cool, at the Smith's house you get to eat BEAGLES!" According to my mum the poor woman looked scandalised, then confused, but didn't stay for an explanation!

MIL served gooseberry crumble. She'd forgotten to add sugar, so warned us that it would be "tarty".

I was imagining a hamster with an egg in the middle. A bit like a scotch egg or gala pie.

Not MIL but ds on his first day at primary school was served croquettes. He informed us he'd had dog chews for dinner. 😳😂

Sylvanian families?

My MIL (who I have to stress is a wonderful and very smart woman) has a Christmas decoration which she refers to as a Christmas Moose....

No it's pillocks

My dad once flew over Viagra in a helicoptor.
Oh sorry it was Niagra !
We still giggle at it !

My aunt went on a pilgrimage to Lourdes in France where she saw the Pyramids (rather than the Pyrenees). She wasn't overly impressed and doesn't understand why people would go all the way to Egypt to look at some 'auld hills'.

Is your Mil scottish @Postmistress?

Elderly relative informed me she was off to the garden centre for a nice clitoris.

She wanted to train it to climb up the side of her shed.

If someone looked ill my DP used to say to his DM "They look buckety". The came about because "They look pale" -> pail. She picked up buckety as a word and would say things like "I saw Betty last week, oh she did look so buckety". Cue laughter from us.