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What are your best Total Brain Farts?

269 replies

QuimReaper · 02/07/2017 14:58

DH has just come home from a weekend away horribly sunburnt and I was looking everywhere for the aftersun which I distinctly remember buying last summer. I was a bit distracted rushing around trying to find it, and then at down at my computer and opened a browser window, and after a moment it dawned on me I'd been about to Google it. Yes, I was about to Google where in my own house I'd hidden with the bottle of aftersun Blush

In the same vein, a few weeks ago I was at my desk rootling through my handbag when I realised I'd forgotten what I was looking for. It wasn't until I went back to my screen that I realised I'd been looking in my handbag for a file I wanted to attach to an email Confused Blush

Technology seems to absolutely flummox me when I'm a bit distracted! I'm forever getting out my Oyster card to try and get through my front door or my house keys to try and use the card entry turnstile at the library Grin Please tell me it isn't just me who does these daft things?!

OP posts:
OhOurBilly · 02/07/2017 20:56

And the time I walked into my bedroom carrying a newborn ds, and instead of flicking the light switch, i stopped and blew at it instead, like you would a birthday candle.

And then stood there confused for a good 30-45 seconds wondering why nothing had happened. Like I was some kind of dragon wizard who could produce light with telepathy and wind.

CakeNinja · 02/07/2017 20:58

Lobster, I too have set my wipers going in a fit of rage Grin

CrohnicallyPregnant · 02/07/2017 21:00

I remember getting some toilet paper and the roll fell off the holder. So I held the roll in one hand, tore off some paper, wiped, then dropped the roll in the toilet!

AnarchyKitty · 02/07/2017 21:00

Poking the TV screen to make it work. It's not a touch screen.
Trying to pay contactless with my bus pass.
Putting the mugs in the tumble dryer and switching it on.

Gingernaut · 02/07/2017 21:03

I work in a hospital department. I've done this job since January.

I sometimes answer the phone using a greeting I used when I temped for an industrial bakers or my previous hospital department.

MintToBee · 02/07/2017 21:03

Getting in a cab and asking the driver to take me to "friend's name" house as I had a freeze on her address.
As it's a small town, they actually knew where I was going!

Freshprincess · 02/07/2017 21:10

I sometimes answer the phone using a greeting I used when I temped for an industrial bakers or my previous hospital department* this is me.
I have the name of the company on a post it on my handset because I've said 'hello, previous employer' many many times. I've worked in my current job for 6 years. I haven't worked for previous employer for nearly 10. And when I did I very rarely answered external calls, and we had to say 'hello, Freshprincess speaking'.
But every time I pick the phone up the urge to say previous employer name is overwhelming! I can't explain it.

QuimReaper · 02/07/2017 21:10

Floor cardigan! Grin

OP posts:
Chinnychinnychinnychib · 02/07/2017 21:11

Making a cup of tea by pouring boiling water into...thin air. I'd forgotten to put a mug out so was just pouring water all over the work surface (and onto my feet). Took me a goodnight few seconds to work it out. DD was 6 weeks old, is all I can say.

cakesonatrain · 02/07/2017 21:15

This thread is awesome.

Mine's not as funny, but I do find myself quite frequently wanting to text my 5 year old DS when I'm at work and he's at school.

theshitcollector · 02/07/2017 21:17

I used to frequently try to use my train pass to get past security at work and show my work ID to the train conductor.

I once told a friend of a friend that I lived in a completely different part of town from where I actually live. There was no reason for the lie and the place I claimed to live is no better or worse than where I really live so it wasn't a subconscious snobbishness. We have since started going to the same exercise club. I walk to and from the club and she often drives past me going in the opposite direction to where I told her I live. I may soon have to 'move house'!

I frequently remember the names for everyday objects and have to describe them/mime using them. DH and the DC are quite used to our games of 'guess the thing' eg. you can look at things on it, it has letters . Computer!

IDontBowlOnShabbos · 02/07/2017 21:32

I woke up the other day and had absolutely no idea where I was or who was next to me. It took me a good 5 minutes to realise I was at home with DH.
In my defence we had just been on holiday. Know idea why I couldn't work out who he was though Blush.

JamaisDodger · 02/07/2017 21:48

When I worked in a hotel, I once answered the phone with a completely made up hotel name. No idea why, it just rolled off the tongue so easily- it wasn't even similar!

NatashaRomanov · 02/07/2017 21:51

Telling my husband that we needed a new plughole stopper.
Eleven years on, and he still likes to bring it up on occasion.

And I have also found the kettle in the fridge and the milk out on the side, but that was in a 3-weeks-post-partum sleepless fog, so that's ok.
I do fequently realise I am wandering round and looking for my phone, while holding said phone.

MintToBee · 02/07/2017 21:57

I have found my people!

I woke up the other day and had absolutely no idea where I was

Yep. I've had that. I was convinced I was in my old house from 1986 and couldn't get my bearings.

hesterton · 02/07/2017 22:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Buildalegohouse · 02/07/2017 22:11

I read on iBook a lot. I am frequently looking for my phone when I am holding my 'book'.

MyMushroomsInATimeSlip · 02/07/2017 22:11

On meeting a client for the first time I introduced myself as their name. They looked at me very oddly as I realised I had no intelligent way of explaining myself!

donajimena · 02/07/2017 22:16

My mother used to look after my son when he was a toddler. She would arrive at my house around 745 am so I could get the baby ready. One morning deciding to help she picked up my freshly boiled kettle and proceeded to pour it over my worktop ironing board and work blouse Grin we concluded that the steam was the confusion!

MissJC · 02/07/2017 22:16

The phone was ringing at work once and I answered my stapler...

paddypants13 · 02/07/2017 22:17

I have to stop myself answering the phone with my old company's name.

I regularly introduce myself as "Paddy from old company" to taxi companies and personal calls. Blush

missg00se · 02/07/2017 22:18

Yesterday I put a small tupperware dish full of sweetcorn in the tumble dryer and turned it on. Followed my nose after a good 40 minutes of wondering why I could smell corn every time I walked down the stairs. Despite the evidence, I have absolutely no memory of doing it.

DD is not a fan of sleep... (but neither is she old enough to put random things in the tumble dryer, so it was definitely me!)

Spadequeen · 02/07/2017 23:01

I remember being in a post office and talking to my dad on my phone. I suddenly panicked and told dad to hang on, I'd lost my phone! It took me a good couple minutes to realise what I'd said/done

MissionItsPossible · 02/07/2017 23:16

Mine is often down to spelling. I was sending a message on my phone (I think it was to a response on here here actually) and stopped after using the word 'child' and convinced I had spelled it wrong and it should have been chiled instead. I was reading a speech out loud once in practice which had the word 'was' in it and after a while convinced myself that 'was' was not a legitimate word and I had made it up.

Shouting at the laptop because it wasn't working when I was trying to drag something into the recycle bin and it wouldn't move. Why wasn't dragging a document into the recycle bin working? Because my laptop isn't touch screen, i've never owned a touch screen, and have no idea why I suddenly tried to use my screen to operate my computer!

TheBadgersMadeMeDoIt · 02/07/2017 23:19

Tried to turn the gas fire off with the TV remote.

Heard the cooker timer go off...and answered the door.

Spent 10 minutes searching all over the house for my phone...while talking on the phone.

Went to the fridge to get DH a beer, then came back and handed him a Happy Monkey Smoothie.

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