Fanny condensation

[ClopySow]

On plastic chairs. Just me?

Please tell me it's not just me. It happened tonight at school parents meeting. Stood up after a nice chat with the maths teacher and there is it, the diamond shaped condensation patch of doom.

I nearly name changed because i am very embarrassed, but fuck it.

I'm going to regret asking this probably...

not heard of this - why does it happen? Is it something to do with wearing tights and overheating? I don't do skirts or tights so is that why it's never happened?

I don't understand, surely there are layers of clothing between your hot bits and the chair?

Happens to me all the time. I believe it's listed in the urban dictionary as 'swamp crotch'.

PS - if you have a choice that is.

Would this be an American fanny or an English fanny?

I honestly think you'd have noticed hassled

Me too I'm so happy it's not just me!

I work in a school and it happens all the time - seen it happen to boys too as well as girls and I always do the sideways bum shuffle off a chair just in case

Another top tip is to half stand, then remember to say something else, or check your bag so sit again with a cheek and that wipes the damp patch quite effectively. I may have overthought my strategies to deal with this phenomenon...

english fanny.

It happened to me tonight in fucking leggings so the tights thing doesn't hold up.

It disappears kinda quick, it's not like a big wet trail, it really is condensation.

I WAS WEARING BLACK

My clothing was unsullied (and not a sniff of polyester either thangyewverymuch) it was just the leatherette that wore my minge mist like a scar of shame

Ohhh, I think tights would be a disaster! A gusset-ty smear of condensation.
Bare thighs, or full trouser/skirt coverage. All leave the same 'mark'. The only solution is to hover.

bingo i bow to your coping skills. Thankyou for new strategies.

The worst - the absolute worst - to try to void is the gym equipment seat sweat patch.

The slide/twist combo doesn't work too well on those saddles on the bikes/rowing machines,etc.
I have to pretend to faff around getting a drink,etc whilst doing a stealthy towel-wipe.

I do get paranoid that people see me wiping my sweaty face and wonder why I don't use the towel I've got.

Ah. You didn't do the 'shuffle' then?

Another sideways slider here.
Another reason to avoid man made fibres where possible.

minge mist. beautiful.

I think this happens to me, but you have confused me by calling it condensation. I thought it was a sweat patch? Or is that a different problem that only I get?

Yes, I've produced a dewy diamond and seen those produced by others. You've got to chamois the chair off before standing by perching on the edge of the seat as if you're making to stand up then going back on the seat and rooting through your bag, and then perching on the edge again.

steamy fanjo to the front, hot arse to the back = sweaty diamond of shame.

I'm howling, thank you for that

What actually causes it though? Is it just having really hot (as in temperature) bits on cold plastic/faux leather?

Done! Hoorah!

Btw, have you ever actually put your hand about half a centimetre from your crotch and felt the heat it gives off? Mine is literally like a furnace on a steam train.

My weird friends and I spent a very weird 15 mins comparing the relative heats of each other's areas.

Happens to me. Just do a slow slide/ scoop forward as you get off the chair.

Oh it's coming from the vag area, you say?! Hmm. I always assumed I had a sweaty bum.

Oh god this has happened to me ever since puberty. Doesn't seem to matter what I'm wearing. I overheat easily and I assume it's general arse/fanny/thigh sweat compressed into the diamond patch of shame. I have been twisting and sliding off plastic chairs since I was a teenager.

I've been doing the slide out of chairs for years.

I also leave a diamond imprint on softer chairs - not fabric, but old soft leather or pleather. A quick pre-standing wriggle sorts that out too.

Juno Whatsit may be delighted with the sharing or makeup tips but these are the real secrets of femininity

ninny just when I thought mn was over you made me snort most unattractively with your fanny facial!

Surely this has happened to everyone even if just at the gym? Doing more reps so person waiting for the machine leaves as you know you've left a hot mingerprint on the seat.