To ask what the stupidest thing you've ever done is?

[RentANDBills]

In very pathetic excited about the new whisk I got today and decided to make some pancakes.

In my enthusiasm I forgot the basic laws of physics and plunged said whisk into a full jug of milk and eggs, plastering myself and the kitchen in mix. Seriously, the place was covered.
Contemplating my choices, I cleared it all up.
This wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for the fact that I then immediately did the exact same thing again. I'm now dripping with eggs, milk and shame wondering why people pay me to look after their children when I clearly need full time supervision myself

please tell me your stupidest stories, I suspect I'm the worlds biggest plonker right now

I heard that washing your hair in egg would make it shiny. So I did and rinsed it in hot water in the shower.

I had a stain on my mattress and I washed it and then as I wanted to dry it quickly I tried to dry with a hairdryer. Put the hairdryer to close and burnt a hole in the mattress.

Scrambled egg hair... Nice.

Tbh, I wouldn't have thought it was possible to burn a hole in a mattress!

Ironed my blouse while I was wearing it. Burnt my boob.

Dropped my hair straighteners & thought it would be a good idea to catch them. Caught the hot plate end of course. OUCH.

Ironed a blouse...whilst wearing it?! I'm actually pretty impressed!

Accidentally locked myself in my bathroom and had to yell through my wall until my neighbours heard me. They called the emergency services who sent two fire engines and the police.

I once snagged a hole in a pair of tights, at lunchtime I went to buy some new ones in BHS (a long time ago ). Went into the toilets to change them and took off 3 rings so I didn't snag the new ones, walked out of the toilets leaving the rings behind. I went back within 5 minues when I realised and they were gone, toilet attendant said she knew nothing about them even though she was cleaning the toilets at the time.

Managed to lock myself in the porch with the keys in the lock on the other side (pulled handle up by mistake and it locked automatically) dd refused point plank to turn the key (5 at the time) so had to stand there screaming for my neighbour whilst screaming at dd to just unlock the bloody door neighbour finally let me out after a good half hour of shouting! Went out and changed the handle so it could never happen again!

I know this is lighthearted but booking this hotel without reading the reviews first! I wouldn't let a dog sleep here and yet here I am with my three kids fortunately I only booked two nights but still YUCK 😝

Not the stupidest thing, as I've made some major cockups in my life which I try to forget about

but

I'm forever searching for my glasses, tearing the house apart trying to find them, to then realise I'm already wearing them (and that's why I can see).

Stupidest thing I ever did?

My ex.

Phoned DH to ask him if he'd seen my mobile, on my mobile.

This one's my Mum's - she thought the iron smelt funny, so sniffed it. While it was on. She burnt the end of her nose really badly (I was secretly )

emma this morning I saw my DP had left his phone at home and gone to work.

so I texted his mobile to tell him.

I have been known to frantically search for things I'm holding too!

Put a £1,000+ plus plan ticket to Australia in the recycling (in the days before e-tickets, so I REALLY did need that small piece of paper.

Had to ring up the travel agent and say I'd had my bag stolen to get a replacement. God I love e-tickets on my phone...

Attempted to cure my breastfeeding baby of hiccups by shouting 'Boo," loudly....

slipped climbing a fence and severed a finger. not my finest hour.

In my student days... Walked into my room with a latte and my phone... Took a 'sip' from my phone and threw my coffee on the bed....

Oh and I held up a whole queue of people waiting for the bus, frantically searching for my bus pass in my ginormous handbag, explaining to the grumpy bus driver that it was definitely in there - and I was holding it in my hand all the time.

Came home from holiday to find my television wouldn't switch on. Rang customer service, very annoyed as I had just replaced one TV that had stopped working (same brand). Told the person how unimpressed I was, how I would never use them again, etc. They went through checks, as I huffed and puffed 'I've done all that!'. Except that I had forgotten the on/off button was underneath the TV, not on the side like the old one. I think the customer service person (who was still extremely nice and not pissing themselves laughing, somehow), could feel my face burning through the phone. I don't think I've made a complaint about anything since....

Ah that made me laugh oldspeckledtam !

Sewing up the hem that had fallen down on a long skirt while still wearing skirt. Sewed myself to the carpet.

Putting on false nails for the first time. Glued hand to carpet.

(In my teens for both of these, back in the day when practically everything was done sitting on one's bedroom floor)

wifebegins as in the entire finger?

Augustrose that is awful about your rings!

Finished printing a lot of paper work off at work, turned around and threw the whole lot in the bin. Then just stood there staring at the bin for about 30 seconds trying to figure out what wasn't adding up.

Accidentally threw a full cup of hot chocolate at a security guard at work. For some reason I thought he was a bin.

Had to cut some boxes at my old job, in my very hung over state I put them on my lap and jabbed the Stanley knife straight through the box and into my leg. My boss came in to the staff room to find me crying into my hands with the blood and cardboard all over the floor. In many ways I was more embarrassed by my childlike bawling than I was about the stabbing.