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Original poster

To ask what the stupidest thing you've ever done is?

258 replies

RentANDBills · 26/10/2016 14:20

In very pathetic excited about the new whisk I got today and decided to make some pancakes.

In my enthusiasm I forgot the basic laws of physics and plunged said whisk into a full jug of milk and eggs, plastering myself and the kitchen in mix. Seriously, the place was covered.
Contemplating my choices, I cleared it all up.
This wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for the fact that I then immediately did the exact same thing again. I'm now dripping with eggs, milk and shame wondering why people pay me to look after their children when I clearly need full time supervision myself Blush

please tell me your stupidest stories, I suspect I'm the worlds biggest plonker right now

OP posts:
HarryPottersMagicWand · 26/10/2016 20:44

My actual stupidest was probably when I was 9 and very impatient (ok I still am very impatient, I didn't learn) and I was waiting to cross a road and decided I could beat the oncoming car. Turns out I couldn't. I still hate crossing roads to this day because of that.

MaQueen · 26/10/2016 20:45

Was fiddling about, fitting a new bulb into a lampshade in DD's bedroom. Didn't bother to check if the light was 'on' and touched 'something' live. It bloody hurt, made me shout out and my fingers were numb for a while.

I'm also regularly surprised at just how hot steam is...it always looks so insubstantial and harmless...

MyGiddyUncle · 26/10/2016 20:45

Unscrewed the lid from a bottle of calamine lotion in the kitchen. Walked into the lounge, ready to plaster it on ds2 who had chickenpox.

The 10 second walk was clearly enough for me to forget i'd opened the bottle already and I promptly lifted my arm and shook the bottle vigorously to mix it. It went bloody everywhere, all over the sofa, all over me and ds2, on the ceiling...what a numpty. And calamine lotion is an absolute bitch to clean up.

HarryPottersMagicWand · 26/10/2016 20:47

I think common sense is overrated tbh. Grin I remembered another one. In our old house I wanted a picture on the wall and decided I didn't need DH to do it for me. I wanted it perfectly in line with the light switch. So I hammered the nail in. Well it was definitely in line with the light switch. Managed to blow the electrics. Somehow I didn't get a shock though. The nail was burnt and had a large chunk missing from the long bit. I still didn't get why it happened. Blush

PinkSquash · 26/10/2016 20:48

I sewed my fingers together in a textiles class at school.
I put my hand on an electric hob after just being told it was on.
Welded my wrist to the oven when I was baking
Slipped down two stairs and fractured my foot.
Slammed the door at work without removing my finger from the side of the door as it locked on. The pain was indescribable, but it took me a week to get it seen to -I was off on holiday- and the nurse recoiled when she first saw it. Grin

I don't seem to like my hands

HarryPottersMagicWand · 26/10/2016 20:51

"I'm also regularly surprised at just how hot steam is...it always looks so insubstantial and harmless..."

Yes to this! I've burned myself so many times on the steam from the kettle. Burning myself seems to feature a lot in my mishaps.

VladimirsPooTin · 26/10/2016 21:09

Wanted to see what would happen if I put my nose out of the open car window and then pressed the button to close it. I had imagined it would be like a cartoon and my face would just get higher and higher with my nose resting on the edge of the window.

What actually happened was a broken nose.

Twat.

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 26/10/2016 21:14

I once stabbed myself in the leg while showing my goddaughter how to carve a Halloween pumpkin. I had to stay very calm and say "sweetie, can you go get Mummy and tell her I need a plaster" to get her to leave the room before I withdrew the blade from my thigh. Surprisingly little blood in the end.

HighwayDragon1 · 26/10/2016 21:23

I dropped a2l bottle of lemonade on my foot and fractured it.

Did a high kick in a bar, slipped, fractured my wrist.

Got my thumb stuck in a lip balm lid for nearly 30 minutes.

Got my finger stuck in a red bull can, it was ripped to shreds when it was freed.

Got my finger stuck in a kids chair, had to have the chair cut open to fee said finger (flimsy chair)

Stuck my finger into a hamster cage and lost tge tip of my finger.

Basically Im like a small child who sticks thrir fingers in things...

OneMoreStepAroundTheBendIGo · 26/10/2016 21:24

Kitchen sink wasn’t draining properly so I assumed the pipe was blocked. Unscrewed the sort-of u-shaped pipe bit under the sink to rinse it out. Surprisingly sensibly put a large bowl under the sink to catch the water from the now disconnected pipe - and then tipped the contents of the bowl down the sink failing to realise that the reason I’d put the bowl there was because the pipe was not connected. Water went all over the under-sink cupboard, including into an open box of washing powder. Took ages to clean it all up but the sink did drain better after that.

Tiggywinkler · 26/10/2016 21:26

Very nearly drowned myself aged 6 by putting my armbands on my ankles then leaping into the deep end.

Head submerged vertically downward, I distinctly remember thinking "oh, this is what it's like to die".

alltouchedout · 26/10/2016 21:30

Oh Vladimir I'm so sorry for your poor nose but I really did Grin

VladimirsPooTin · 26/10/2016 21:39

Alltouched what's even stupider was that I carried on fiddling with the window and other dials in the car afterwards just in case anyone was watching, to give off the illusion of being fine.

I was not.

wowwee123 · 26/10/2016 21:44

i once tried to boil some eggs in a bowl of water in the microwave.

microwave exploded. egg all over floor. carpeted kitchen Confused

ive also been know to knock on the car window to wave at friends thinking they would hear me

OneMoreStepAroundTheBendIGo · 26/10/2016 21:47

Possibly TMI, but just remembered another - accidentally applied Deep Heat rather than Canesten cream to treat thrush. Had just rubbed Deep Heat into sore knee and then, rather than picking up the tube of Canesten, I just squeezed the Deep Heat again and applied it to my nether regions. TO be fair, it stopped any itching immediately, but frankly I’d put up with that any day over the feeling of my fanjo being on fire…

DamePastel · 26/10/2016 21:50

omg mollyredskirts that breaking the same toe a second time to demonstrate to somebody how you broke it the first time! I can't contain it Grin Grin

DamePastel · 26/10/2016 21:53

Tiggywinkler Grin that was funny!

Mine can't compare. Once my brother said ''don't touch that'' blowing his hand. "You'll get an electric shock'' so I touched it.

OnceMoreIntoTheBleach · 26/10/2016 21:54

Wanted to bite some ice in half. But it against the glass. Mouth full of broken glass. Not clever. I was 9 tho. Nonetheless not clever.

Dizzylizzie29 · 26/10/2016 21:55

Last week my petrol flap wouldn't open. I pulled and pulled it and in the end pulled it off and tried to fit in the fuel pump in the gap spilling fuel everywhere.
Bloke from patrol station came out as he could see the ho ha. Told him my car was playing silly bugers with me but I really needed fuel and did he know a garage I could go to get the damn thing fixed.He suggested unlocking my car which in turn would unlock the cap. Bingo
Blush mortified

FlyingFordAnglia · 26/10/2016 21:59

At my mums house, she was out, I'd locked the door behind her. Went into the kitchen, shut the door and found the latch had broken, no way of getting out, door completely stuck. No window in kitchen and I'd also left the keys in the front door so no one would be able to get in anyway. Panicked for 30 mins, tried cutting my way out with kitchen knives, kicking the door, you name it. In the end I found her tools and had to hammer through the (thankfully) plywood door panel to open the door from the other side. My poor mums face when she got home!

Jellybean83 · 26/10/2016 22:00

Had mobile phone in back pocket of jeans, pulled jeans down to pee and mobile phone has slipped out of pocket and into toilet.... not once, not twice, not three times but four times. Apparently I don't learn lessons!

BoopTheSnoot · 26/10/2016 22:04

This happened 12 years ago. I was 15, and the lightbulb had gone in the bathroom. My dad wasn't home and my mum isn't good with any kind of heights so she asked me to change it.
So I'm on the stepladder, all is going well. Then I thought I felt something fall out of the light. So genius me decided to put my thumb into the fitting to see if anything was amiss.
A horrible buzzing pain shot through my thumb, ended up on my back on the bathroom floor with a pretty impressive burn. I'm lucky that that's all I got!
So to summarise my stupidity:

  1. Obviously didn't check the light was off at the switch before changing the bulb
  2. Decided to stick my thumb in a light fitting
FishSauce555 · 26/10/2016 22:05

Rubbed a chopped garlic clove on my... ahem... at 3am while dying of thrush.

Never felt pain like it. It was insane. But did slightly help.

Cannot begin to describe how painful.

DramaAlpaca · 26/10/2016 22:21

As a teenager I decided to make my hair stand up in spikes don't ask.

Didn't have any suitable styling products available, so decided that the Vaseline I found in the bathroom cabinet would do the job.

Realised too late that Vaseline would be an absolute bugger to wash out. And that it didn't make for spectacular spiky hair either.

I eventually had to resort to washing my hair several times with Fairy liquid, because shampoo just wouldn't cut it.

GasChildPlanet · 26/10/2016 22:30

Got an ice lolly stuck to my bottom lip. I tried warming it up to defrost a bit but nothing was happening so I ended up pulling it and ripping off my skin! Worst thing was I went back to the shop to complain about the temperature of their freezer and the guy just looked at me stupid, standing there with my bleeding mouth Blush

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